shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Not that big of a problem for me. People don't usually think to check the cameras, and I destroy the copies before I leave if the security's good. No ctOS profile either-- makes me hard to track. Hackers hate it, let me tell you.

 

I do, I hate it because when I was first dealing with you I had... No idea who you were. Like, what the fuck, you just don't exist. Even I have the remains of a profile and I erased mine completely. How. HOW. *frustration noise*

 

First step: don't exist. Second step: continue first step indefinitely.

[He grins.]

 

*Huffs at him* Yeah, yeah. I know. The tragic backstory I unlocked two levels ago, still... Step two is the impressive one to me.

 

-he laughs, amused. Some of the body armor has come back off, though he still has more than when he originally arrived.-
Think I'm still legally dead. Useful, once in a while.

 

Step two's not too hard if you stick to criminal enterprises. Plenty of incentive to stay underground there, and Blume hasn't managed total access to the networks most fixers advertise through yet. Your problem is that you've got this whole 'fight the man' thing that keeps throwing you in the spotlight. Too much helping people, not enough stabbing everyone in the back to save yourself. But that's alright, I can help you develop proper self-care habits.

 

Hey.

Stabbing people in the back isn't good self care. In fact, I'd never stab you in the back because I'm your cat. I would, however, fuck someone over if it'd help you or any of my friends.

Fuck Chicago DedSec though, they can rot.

 

Now there's an idea. A couple of the Defalt's have done that-- not all of 'em, most of 'em wind up dead sooner or later, but it's an idea. Aiden's done it a couple times. Hard to pull off though. You did the whole... resurrection thing, didn't you? Easier that way. Pull a Jesus but just don't do the preachy thing and you're golden.

Bunch of shitty basement dwellers. Even the ones running corporate. And those Dave guys-- seriously, what's their deal? Do all hackers have really shit infosec? Like, I'm in a fucking black SUV chasing them all over Chicago and what do they do? Lead me right to their fucking workplaces. Come on. Thought they were supposed to be the best or... fucking whatever.

 

You know I'm better about it than that, and so are most of my friends in San Fran DedSec. Those fucks were just a bunch of white boys with money and the want for a powertrip.

 

Followed you too, didn't I? [He sounds pretty smug about that.]

You're not wrong though. Fucking making six figures but they gotta run around fighting the man anyways, even thought they are the man. A John-zombie sort of deal, you get me?

 

Cy's a bro. Good dude.

I'm setting up your paper work in revenge as we speak.

Also speaking of brainwashed clones, has anyone told you the story of how we found out that Batman the Original wasn't actually dead yet? Because I feel like you've missed out on the family tradition of scolding me fore stupid shit and we wouldn't want you to feel left out.

 

I can't believe you referenced that at me. *Mashes face into neck. No, not talking to you. You memed.*

 

Can't say I recommend my method, unless you like brain damage and psychosis. Means the autopsy report is airtight, though. Even the grave marker is probably still there.

Aww, Bats. I've been a good boy lately, and you're doing this to me? Guess you better tell me that story to make it up to me.

 

I'm not sorry. [He's grinning like a shithead and petting Marcus.]

Brain damage I could miss, psychosis... yeah, you know what? I think I'll just give the whole Jesus method a resounding 'no', how about that. Maybe keep it in the wings just in case, but I'm gonna call that plan... D. Yeah. That sounds about right.

 

Sadly not. So you know the most powerful piece?

Oh I like you. You're quick.

-knowing nod and nothing more-

 

So yeah funny thing, when I heard about a Lazarus pit in Great Britain and Robin and Alfie jsut so happened to be busy with other things I may or may not have smuggled Batman's corpse across the border, and gotten help from Squire and Knight to get him to the pit. We met Batwoman there too, real coincidence that. So yeah anyway turns out the corpse we had wasn't Batman it was someone's crazy clone of him so when he put him in the pit we suddenly had a murderous rampaging Batman we had to catch again. That's when we knew he couldn't have actually been dead, because he would never. we managed to deal with the clone corpse barely in time, but when I told Red Robin about it I could hear the smugness radiate from all the way halfway across the globe. It was terrible.

[He muses for a while, before running his hand through his hair again.]
Pawn.

 

-the most restrained of sparkle eyes- Excellent answer but I'm afraid you're wrong. The player.

 

[He blinks, then laughs, bright and joyful, the kind that always made him an excellent entertainer. The kind of laugh that he can fake at the drop of a hat when it's necessary. ]
The lady has beaten me fair and square. So much genius behind such a pretty face.

 

"So what the shit is up with Defalt? First time I ever saw him he went 'rowr' at me, kinda racist or what?" Lissa frowns. "If I hadn't been worried about you, Marcus, I would've asked him why the fuck he thought it was a good idea to remind me that I'm a cat, given our respective places in the food chain?"

 

-she drops a flawless court curtsey, which incidentally reveals the knife in her corset because she came in talking poisons and gives approx zero fucks right now-

Know the rules, control the board. It's not cheating if they can't prove it. If the game cannot be won... destroy it. -her voices is light, almost teasing, but to someone observant or who's been there it has distinct notes of "someone she respects told her this and she took it to heart in an unhealthy and potentially dangerous way"-