shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

"Wait, that's cartoon evil--even though it really happened--but making people who are also weapons is not?" Lissa frowns, her brows all bunched up. "I'm trying to figure out how this works. Are you saying that you are a weapon?"

 

-She shakes her head.-

You still don't get it.

 

I didn't say making people who are weapons isn't bad. But we're here now!

 

Yeah, annoying. I mean, I could have beat that golden up but your way of doing things worked better I think.

He's probably not trying.

 

Yeah, about that, what is with the bat get-up? It kind of looks weird.

 

Yeah, I'm not exactly emotionally invested in your tragic backstory. Getting it in bits and pieces doesn't really do it for me, you dig?

More fun for me, at least. You know me so well. [He gives Marcus another kiss on the temple. Best Cat.]

 

"Well, yeah, of course." Lissa shakes her head. "My issue was with the part where one of those things was somehow that much more unlikely than the other."

 

Admit it, you'd have felt fucking smug as shit if I had have taken out that dog. *sighs. Yeah, he knows Jordi very well. Too well sometimes.*

 

*Appears behind @Not The Batman You Want*
*pokes the little bat ears on his head*

 

I could tell it as a story. It's not really my tragic backstory, though. I'm doing just fine.

 

Y'know how police uniforms are for recognizing people? Masked vigilantes wear costumes like this for much the same reason, plus keeping the civilian identity undercover. As for the bat-theme, that's a family tradition.

[He grabs her hands, swiping with his foot to trip her up.]
I'd be careful with that, they're sharpened.

 

Would've, but then I would've had to break you out of kitty jail too. Which would have been fucking annoying, let me tall you.

Is it one of those stories where someone falls in love with the guy in the coma but it turns out he's actually a clone of the niece of his supposed twin they were actually in love with the whole time?

 

No, but the moon explodes at some point.

 

*Purrrrssss* Yeah but the fact that you would have is nice to know.

 

Yessss. This is the type of guy that I would love o get into a business partnership with.

 

As long as you keep the innocent out of this.

 

Alright, now I'm intrigued. Is the moon in a failed marriage too?

Of course I'd break you out. You know me. [Scritch scritch kiss.]

[Jordi laughs.] Yeah, that's a good one.

 

*goes invisible* You dare try to attack me!? I was merely looking at you. How dare you attack the Daughter of sunlight, Lady of the Pianted World, last of the dragons? I shall not attack you unless you strike me again.

 

No.

 

Add another title, it'll really sell the image.