shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

Embellishment. You can do so much with it. The only thing people like better than love triangles are love triangles that end in polyamory.

[He keeps petting, because he'll take Marcus as a cat or a person any day. Occasionally snickering, though he doesn't really every say anything back.]

 

Well, Deivas and Lauma did have their first nest together right before Lauma was murdered...

 

*Yep, there he goes, popping into cat shape and ending up basically laid out over Jordi's shoulder. Starts just-- Just grooming his hair. Someone is Affectionate. Someone else is going to look dumb by the time Marcus is done, too.*

 

What better reason to polish up on a language is there than soap operas
[He grins.]

 

When am I not being an ass is the question. And the answer is never. I am, as I've been told many times, 'fucking obnoxious' and also 'shit don't shoot me for saying that Jordi fuck'.

Well, unless I'm being paid to kill you, in which case you should probably not listen to that either. Because there's bombs there. Though in this case, that's a minimal life expectancy on my part, since apparently these people explode when they die, so you know I'm not gonna be anywhere near the epicenter of that.

See, now there's some good, old fashioned romantic tragedy. Work that in somehow. Make it really hurt your audience. They'll love it.

Yeah, was wondering when that was gonna happen. [Jordi pushes him up a little higher so he's securely in place, then starts scritching at the fur on the back of Marcus's neck. Soft kitty. He's resigned to his hair being dumb looking, it wasn't like he was gonna place first in a hair styling contest anyways.]

 

*Shifts from grooming to nuzzling and rubbing his face against Jordi's head, going so far as to wrap his paws around Jordi's head and be almost-a-hat as he attacks said head with affection.*

 

Well, if anyone ever pays me to tell a tragedy, I'll know what to do.

 

[Jordi seems to be taking this in good humor. He certainly hasn't done anything to pry Marcus off, and continues to pet him adoringly.]

Attagirl. Knock 'em dead next time.

 

Exactly. Bullshit relationship drama is the universal uniting factor.

 

[Vector snickers.] Yes.

 

*Shifts around and rubs his entire body against Jordi's head before squirming his way down to the man's lap. Rolls and stretches, still purring loud enough to be heard audibly by anyone nearby*

 

Appears, stares at Vectors knitting in silence.- What is that?

 

My latest distraction. Much less collateral damage than making actual frogs, I'll tell you that much.

[Marginally awkward pause. Vector is conspicuously Not Looking at Megatronus.] ... Have... are you doing alright?

 

Ford sighs. "I don't actually ever even remotely understand soap operas or romantic comedies," he says after a moment, his tone almost helpless, his expression completely bewildered. "Or, honestly, porn. I'll admit I enjoy watching sex sometimes, but...not when it's done by people I don't know. But I can get why someone else would. Romantic comedies and soap operas don't even make sense. Nobody ever communicates!"

 

"A lot of the plots seem to revolve around people thinking they can own each other." Lissa makes a face.

 

[Jordi starts going nuts with the pets. Ear scratching, belly rubs, chest scritches-- the whole nine. He's gonna pet his cat so good. He's the best at pettins.]

Hey, that's half the fun. A bunch of stupid people get into progressively escalating bullshit because no one thinks to tell their sister that the man she's dating is actually the robotic alter of her brother's ex in middle school. It's fucking great.

 

"That's because you're a Martian, Sixer." Stan rolls his eyes with great affection. "A fucking Martian."

 

Drama happening to someone else can be entertaining!

[This... might not have been the best thing to say with Megatronus in the rave, considering. Oops. Vector looks sheepish and focuses Very Intently on his knitting again.]

 

"But I can't bring myself to care about people that stupid!" Ford sputters.

 

"Yeah, if they fucked you over." Lissa grins. "But the schadenfreude thing doesn't exactly work with fictional characters."