shitposting rave 5: discount rejects from every genre

You don't gotta like me, just accept that I'm incorrigible.
[He salutes her, only a little sarcastic.]
And most people respect my skill and still think I'm trash and shouldn't be talked to. You wouldn't believe how much the public plays favorites sometimes.

[Dick mock-swoons right onto the bed, half draped on top of Jason.]
Yep, that's me, careful or I'm gonna infect you with being a softy.
But seriously, at this point it's either you or Quinzel and I don't actually want to even hear about what the good doctor would do to the guy. As backwards as it sounds giving him to you would probably be the merciful option.

 

"Mmmm, I remember the belly rubs."

Lissa's eyes narrow just thinking about it, then she turns to her sister. "Those husbands of yours better not be neglecting their duties."

"I don't have to like anyone," Lissa says, laughing. "It's not like feelings can be compelled. I just do like people, most of the time. But you'd be surprised what I could believe. Also, I was right when I said you two were adorable. Only I didn't quite know how much."

 

"Of course they're not!" Valiska rolls her eyes, but fondly. "I'm not as far along as your friend is there, though."

 

[He rubs a cheek against Marcus's fsce.]

I let you sleep while they're kvetching. You're gonna owe me big time.

That's dumb. What, and there's no way to isolate him and take him out from a distance?

 

He didn't survive the entire war for nothing. You think there ain't plenty of people who want him dead? Fragger knows his business.

 

-He shifts around to get comfortable under Dick. Coincidentally, his arm ends up around him - turns out the guy is a good arm rest. Right, okay, Jason. Who do you think you're fooling? He sounds like he's thought about what he's talking about a lot, and his arm slowly tightens around Dick.-
I did my elaborate plan to kill the bastard already. Didn't work out. Now that I've gotten over my case of the villain monologues, I'd do it different. Twice in the head and twice in the spine. Then I'd cremate him, keep all the rich collectors from trying to get bits of him. That is, if he doesn't have some last "joke" where he'll release Joker toxin if his body is burned, something like that.
-he looks fairly disturbed as he thinks about that-
Anyway. Harley Quinn deserves her licks at him, too, but I think she doesn't want to let him back into her head the way she'd need to to come up with a revenge plan, these days. 'S why I haven't asked her to team up for it.

 

Huh. No kidding. Could always set someone else up as the fall guy and go long-range-- can you guys be sniped? Or does it need to be close and fucking personal?

 

Ehhh. Do-- [Wires pauses to make sure Thunderwing really is asleep--] do explosives count as sniping? A confirmed kill needs to completely destroy either the brain or the spark, and brains aren't actually a sure shot if you have a medic on-hand and a spare. The medic I know he does, and if she hasn't been having them retrieve brains from their kills I'll eat my own. Spark's the surer target, but he's a warframe-- lots of armor around the vitals, it's honestly easier to get in with a blade if you can just keep 'em down or distracted long enough.

Eighty percent of our time is deep-space travel, dude. Believe me: we've thought about this a lot.

 

"Remember, they don't have all the antibodies and signaling proteins that make it so difficult for us to swap parts out," Valiska says thoughtfully. "The point of sniping is not just to get your target from distance, it's also to make things fast and quick and in the best case scenario, not get noticed until you're gone, which is not what explosives do. Virus?" She sighs. "Ugh, why am I even doing this? Intellectual curiosity? I take it this guy is not with the TEAM program? Because I'm not helping you get back into another four million years of war."

 

I'm always adorable. It's my thing. Hood has guns, Red Robin's the angsty one, my Robin's the pissed off rebellious youth- Batgirl is the fake-innocent snarker, Black Bat is the mysterious one. We're like a boy slash girl band except more dangerous and only vaguely tolerated by the law!

Yeah, she's come a long way so I'm gonna leave her alone. It's her decision anyways. If she can find her peace far away from any of that, all the better.
[He doesn't actively acknowledge Jason's plan but he doesn't pull away either, instead reaching to reassuringly hold onto Jason's arm around him.]

 

Virus might be doable, if any of us were coders, if we had a reliable means of transmission that wouldn't also infect us, and if his medic doesn't catch it and nuke it. And Tarn's got some weird outlier power that messes with spark coding anyway, so who knows if it'd even work on him? One of the other four, sure, but they're replaceable, we've gone through like four Voses, it's Tarn that's running the show.

TEAM...? Oh, that doomed envoy Cybertron sent out towards the GC? [Wires laughs, shakes his head.] The day Tarn argues for peace with organics is the day the World-Eater himself crawls out of the ether to kill us all. And believe me, if I could safely walk away from the war I would.

 

If you've got the expendable decoys, explosives ain't a bad bet. Messy and loud, but if total annihilation is what you're going for, can't really beat a proper bombing run. Not usually my rodeo, but I can appreciate a good demolitionist.

That's Pearce's deal. Can you turn their spaceship into a space explosive? There's a real killer of a 'hello' for you.

 

"Why are none of you coders," Valiska starts to say, and then: "Doomed?"

Her ears snap back. "They'd best not be doomed, one of their captains is the altself of one of my daughters!"

 

It's rather the opinion of a large swath of bots that our mission is futile. I don't think any but the most cynical believe we're doomed to die, just to utter failure, seeing as we have only the one trained diplomat aboard, and he has no official position.

 

Can I--

[Wires cracks up, leaning on the kibble-prong he'd been previously lounging against for support.]

Can I get anywhere near the Peaceful Tyranny to rig it up? Sweet Solomus, what have you been smoking and where can I get some?

None of us are coders because it's a specialist profession, and that's not the kind of example the Justice Division likes to make out of people. Not messy enough.

And yeah, doomed. The Galactic Council has a standing kill on sight policy for all Cybertronian craft and individuals; someone sneaky enough might be able to dip in and out of their borders to run messages or light cargo, but a ship walking right up to say hello? If they somehow don't get incinerated then and there, they've got one Pit of a job cut out for 'em.

 

It's a work in progress. Certainly the Galactic Council needs to be appeased in some ways, but the rather blatant trial of Megatron might go a ways towards that for us. It's just a matter of finding the right channels.

 

Not my fault you haven't got any goddamn imagination. You know, deifying warlords is the way they get people to think they're immortal, right? They die like everyone fucking else.

 

I'll take your word for it, pretty guy, diplomacy's not exactly my strong suit.

Ain't deification when we know exactly how paranoid the big five are. You don't go to the Tyranny uninvited, it comes to you unless you fancy flying through the eight billion frequently-changed defense systems. See again: no damn coder to at least deal with the automated slag.

 

Is hiring people just not a thing in robot land? You can't slap some cash on a table and say 'give me your best hacker so we can knock this shit out'? I beginning to think that your unpaid work problem is cultural, not specific.

 

Payment tends to be in edibles, and most of what we scavenge goes into the big guy by necessity. Not a lot of extra when feeding an Insecticon's in the equation, if we could even find anyone with the bearings to try and take on the DJD's flying fortress.