Shitposting Rave OOC Content Controversy

If you think it's okay for FL to talk about dicks, and have his characters have sex with characters played by adults, and the like, and I'm somehow supposed to know on what given day this kind of conversation will upset him when it isn't even directed at him and just happens to be in a thread he reads, please give me the name and telephone number of your psychic.

You were asked to leave several pages ago, but I will put this in very small words for you just because you need that.

1. The 15 year old has been talking about dicks in front of me and everyone else here on multiple occasions for months. We can link you to actual quotes where his characters have harassed @unknownanonymous' character about wanting to know if he has a dick, where he keeps it and what it looks like.

2. Therefore, nobody had the first clue that discussing anatomy would upset this particular 15 year old.

3. When the 15 year old appeared to be uncomfortable, I asked the 15 year old if he had a problem with it. Yes, I was pissed off. I have a right to be pissed off, given that said 15 year old has made fun of my characters routinely for months for being 'moral guardians' and trying to STOP his characters from doing disgusting, immoral and generally rotten things.

4. He chose not to answer me.

5. People who did not know the history (like YOU) chose to raise a stink about it. @seed appeared to be genuinely concerned. You're here to start shit and white-knight, so I have no problems telling you to go away again.

I do not normally try to discuss anything sex related with teenagers.

But as FL has observed on numerous times, the general "rating" of any thread FL shows up in tends to go UP, not DOWN, as a result of FL posting there. And my characters weren't even talking to FL's characters in that part of the thread.

Now, unless you have something useful to contribute to this discussion, kindly fuck the hell off.

 

BTW, the multiple likes from people who never or rarely post in the SPR itself are ginormous clues to me that there is in fact a concerted effort here to start shit on the part of people who have started drama on Kintsugi before by white knighting and misrepresenting other people's positions.

When you say "cT just wants to talk about dicks in front of a 15 year old," you are grossly misrepresenting my position.

My position is that

1. I can't possibly be expected to be aware that people are going to be upset by my engaging in conversations about the same topics they routinely raise themselves.

2. If someone does become upset by something I say that is no worse than the things they say all the time, that's not my fault and they should tell me about it.

3. There's nothing wrong with answering other people's questions about anatomy in general.

(It's not like my character is harassing another character by asking them what their junk looks like on a site full of trans people or anything.)

 

this is so ugly
im not reading all that. i dont give a shit precisely what fl is comfortable with themself, that doesnt waive their right to be uncomfortable with other things or mean you can trample all over their boundaries bc they did something you didnt like. you dont get to decide what other people, ESPECIALLY minors, boundaries are for them no matter what.
also be this condescending to academic abuse survivors one more time
and i slap u

 

wow threats

 

FL is allowed to have contradictory boundaries, you're absolutely correct, @a small fis)( . But, Feffie, the problem is that he did not directly state them, after which we WOULD have respected them and stopped. Things blew up so bad bc people unrelated to him were trying to interpret him and saying we should all assume that what he said ic was ooc and back off. And you agreed w/ me that that was gross! Then the conversation moved on 2 other people's own boundaries and how best to accommodate them. Which is distinct from FL's boundaries.

I'm genuinely v sorry that we made him so uncomfy he left, but I think ur saying some unfair stuff.

 

Sincere question: What boundaries were trampled?

eta wait you didn't even read the post, what are you replying to.... fuck. One momentum.

 

OKAY SO

Obviously, people are not reading the comments of this thread because it's full of fight bs. I'm not able to mediate this. I want to know what people DO want, not this back and forth of WELL YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.



Would it be helpful for me to make another thread that is ONLY for gathering anecdata about preferences and boundaries? As in, would people be willing to post in there, maybe quote things there?



Eta: post not pay, this is a free service.

 

I think that would be a good idea in general, honestly it could be done in the OOC thread in general. Just a statement of "Hey these are my triggers / boundaries / squicks can you please tag / spoiler them" and list them. Then it can just be gathered up into the top post or something!

 

Very interested as that talk actually seems useful. It's now cluttered by an argument.

 

Hey guys, one thing I´d like to note: FL said in there he was not uncomfortable, only that he was scared by the reaction he feels he would have gotten if he Was.
So can we please Not lay into FL for posting an OOC complaint IC, as he did not do that?

 

+1 to trying to seperate out the policy/spoilers/tags discussion for ease of reading and convenience.

 

Welllll. Like, I can't give a quick statement of mine. Most of the things that really get to me only bother bother me when I'm low on spoons, or they're harmonizing with something else going on. They're not things I know how to quickly summarize. And I bet I'm not alone in that.

That's why I've been glad at stuff like that list Ivy linked, an external thing to compare to and take words from. Being able to go "oh yeah! me too!"

I hadn't even thought of the idea you're raising. Like the kinktsugi thread, having an ongoing list of things to spoiler for the people in the thread. That's a method to consider for sure.

 

+1 for a policy discussion thread as well, though I am at least partially interested in nailing down a definition of gratuitous/graphic violence for myself, so I'm likely to dump thoughts en masse in that thread for data's sake.

 

New thread for ancedata and policy discussion

 

People. Let's stop arguing about what FL himself said didn't happen. He says right there that he was NOT made uncomfortable by the IC actions. He also explicitly says here that he had already decided to leave: "proves I made the right choice" requires the thing that proves to be AFTER the choice, not before.

He unfortunately doesn't say what his problem was with the discussion afterward accurately enough to really discern anything except that he didn't like it.

FL was a player constantly pushing at the boundaries of what was acceptable in the RP. This is not about what happened in the RP. If you're going to white-knight someone, please goddamn listen to what they say happened.

 

since people apparently find it fair game to make snide comments about me and accuse me of shitstirring for using likes to express opinions while trying to stay out of the actual discussion because that's what i thought people wanted: fine, here i am :V

have a rudimentary metaphor that might help you understand why people might find things like random unspoilered discussions of catgirl orgasms, as well as being chewed out and told they're sex-negative and unreasonable and insulting for being uncomfortable with it, just a tiny bit fucking upsetting!

 

@Carnivorous Moogle: what about the fact that the kid is the one that largely pushed the boundaries so that talking about that level of stuff became acceptable?

"I can do it but when you do it's gross" is going to piss people off.

Do you actually know that this is what FL's problem was? ALL WE HAVE TO GO ON is the single paragraph I quoted above. This is the sum and total of the public explanation of his point of view.

 

If any points are supported by what people have told you in private, you can say that. But be explicit about it. When you're just guessing, say so. When it's your issue and not theirs, say so.

 

Also, something upsetting someone DOES NOT MEAN THAT ANYTHING WRONG WAS DONE.

 

(p.s. I'm not mad at you, @Carnivorous Moogle, I'm pissed off at the situation. Especially that there seems to be some major failures of communication going on.