Shitposting Rave OOC Content Controversy

Sorry everyone but I feel like I have to answer this.

I have actually not given much thought to your motives. I didn't know you RPd to cope with stuff until you alluded to it before. (It hadn't occurred to me before that anyone would do that. Fic is different.) I do not play characters for coping reasons, because I (personally, for me) feel that would be unfair to everyone else unless I asked them if that was OK. I also have issues with paranoia, and I have had the experience of being triggered in the rave.

But I do have the ability to tell everyone here apart from their characters 99.99999999% of the time.

First of all: even those of you that I don't know play many different characters with very different personalities.

Logically, you couldn't possibly have the same personality as both Juice and Genie. I don't know you at all outside the Rave, but I can make an educated guess that you're probably not much like either of them. Most people who RP play many, many different characters and it's easy to tell the difference between them, even if I know nothing at all about them.

It's a little harder when someone is playing only multiple versions of the same character and the only character they play that's not a version of that character is a self-insert, and won't respond to me OOC. How am I supposed to figure that out?

I freely admit that I do not know where the IC/OOC borders were with FL. I didn't have enough data to make an educated guess and he wouldn't give me any.

For the record, I don't think anyone told anyone to come here and start a dog pile, but I also think that pretty much everyone who's been on the internet more than a week knows that if they vent about someone hard enough, their friends will jump in.

I'm also really clear on the difference between myself, Valiska, Lissa and the Fords. They all do, say, think and believe things I do not. There was one time when I completely freaked out because someone said something to Ford that was very similar to what his childhood bullies said about him and that threw me into the mental state I was in when I got bullied as a kid, but because it wasn't a complete flashback with visuals and sounds and everything, it took me a while to figure it out. But it's not like I do that constantly.

I just don't have the ability to look at a screen and see that something is happening in the presence of my character, maybe even during a conversation that my character was having, and decide that my character did not notice that, and make it stick.

I would like to stop talking about this now; it's been upsetting other people. I wish I'd never made that post the other day. I wish I'd realised that I should not have answered the thing you said with an explanation of why I didn't think it was simply "conflict avoidance".

I should have just said that I was talking about something a little more extensive than "conflict avoidance" instead of outlining (very badly, and in a way that confused @Lord Starscream for which I am heartily sorry) all of the reasons WHY I don't think it was just conflict avoidance.

 

I have to say I am very, very uncomfortable with these parts. What on earth is 'creepy' about cT? If you have issues with her behavior then they should be brought up. This is a place where a lot of people have brainweirds and will have communication difficulties because of it, and this doesn't help. The last thing we need is people sitting around off-site discussing who's 'creepy' like a bunch of mean teenagers. Even if the people in question are teenagers. This kind of shit is horrible for people with anxieties and insecurities; how many people around here are wondering now who is considered 'creepy'. Especially since you don't say what the fuck is creepy about it.

'Creepy' can be hella ableist, too. A heck of a lot of the time in the outside world it is being used to describe people with mental or physical disabilities. A lot of people on this site have been called it for no just reason. I would recommend that we fucking ban calling people things like that or insinuating that there is something bad about someone but refusing to say what.

And this falls into the category of "people not talking about their problems, resentments building up until they explode" which we want to fucking avoid in future if we can.

And I'm sorry, FL was sometimes an utter asshole in the RP and also sometimes OOC too. I don't dislike him, but that's the truth as I saw it.

 

I'm particularly bothered by the "creepy uncle" part as that implies that I am creeping ON someone, someone younger, which is not the case. :/ Someone that I never had any private or direct interactions with.

 

"are you sure that all of these people don't normally have a problem with you? have you considered that a lot of people here are really skeeved out by and uncomfortable with you, but grin their teeth and bear it so as to not cause unnecessary drama?"

Also, seriously, wtf, @Ipuntya.

No, I have not considered that, nor have I considered why I'm on ignore lists when I don't know about those ignore lists, nor any of that bullshit, because until somebody tells me themselves that they have a problem with me I am not going to know about it.

I deal with my paranoid ideation by subjecting it to rigorous logic testing, and NOT indulging it when my asshole brain wants to sit around and contemplate how every little rudeness and silence and unreadable facial expression and whisper is secretly about me and how awful people must think I am.

And if you have paranoid ideation, why the FUCK would you say something like that to someone else who also has paranoid ideation?

I mean, you didn't know I did at the time (although most of us here do know that), but you thought I did. Why the FUCK would you tell someone who you think has paranoia issues that many nameless people are secretly upset by them and just not telling them about it?

That was a genuinely creepy thing to do.

 

well, the meta thread is closed, and i sure as hell wouldn't be able to get into the tghcb thread with her without every post being fruit salad'd, so why don't we take a trip down memory lane

time has vindicated me of (most) wrongdoing

on cT being creepy: it is now pretty evident what on earth is so creepy about her, given what has been said in the meta thread

on why i never brought any of this shit up until april: intimidation and silencing tactics. she's used them on me, she's used them on others. she doesn't like being criticized, so she will beat anyone into submission who publicly criticizes her.

on creepy being hella ableist: sometimes, possibly! not this time though. her behavior is legitimately fucking creepy.

on me bottling my resentment up: there wasn't much choice in the matter. ct is the queen of the roleplaying subforum. she runs wt, and despite all that has happened since, she's still one of the most influential figures there. on top of that, she employs silencing and intimidation tactics against criticism, used to have the capability and support to use group silencing and intimidation tactics if need be. of course, her credibility and support have now hit the shitter, so i can now talk freely again

mostly because i assumed that if you were paranoid the same way i am, and would've already rigorously scrutinized everyone for signs of dislike, and quickly noticed that a shit ton of people find you incredibly creepy and are uncomfortable around you. this assumption came with an accusation that you even though you already knew about this, and were just saying this shit in an attempt to discredit your detractors. i figured it would've fit your mo.

and wow did it ever blow my mind to learn that a paranoid person was actually capable of that level of willful ignorance, because these people weren't exactly subtle about it either. it was pretty damn easy to find the shit talk.

in any case, this is the one thing that i consider myself to have been seriously wrong about, so it's the one thing i'm genuinely sorry for, especially since that couldn't have been a fun way to learn that your paranoia was actually RIGHT the whole time

yes ct, why didn't i give you the list of people who have grievances with you so that you could have silenced them all into submission for daring to criticize you privately talked with them about it?

gosh, why didn't i think of that


anyways, she won't get a notification for this since we're both ignoring each other and also since i removed the ping, but anyone's free to tell her this post exists, so that she can willfully ignore its existence at her leisure.