Shitposting Rave OOC

Which is a thing you can request. That's what the OOC thread is for.
The OOC Thread is literally the usable result of the last time we

It cannot do it's intended thing when people's discomforts are not communicated in it.

 

in case it is a case of what is being discussed, i should clarify that *i* was at no point angry at people for having their characters fuck with itch, but that with Berit i was playing a character who is 1) passive to a fault 2) had not seen any of itch's previous antics 3) did not know there was no permadeath in the rave. so, yeah, it seemed appropriate for her to kind of have a meltdown. that does not mean that i, the player, am mad at people for harming itch.

 

In case at least one of these people was me (and I'm pretty sure it was, Venture most recently in his flailing for "people who know how pathworking works"), sorry 'bout that; my memory's kinda shit for details, I honestly didn't remember if Ford or Vali said she was staying away except in Venture and Ford's most recent conversation.

 

I feel like such a wuss.

I'm afraid everyone is going to not want to be friends with me or play games with me if I really admit how many things there are that I just can't handle sometimes. I know that's dumb but there it is.

 

Okay. We cannot help you with that if you don't communicate with us, which you know. Leaving things to sit until they blow up in everyone's faces is a lot less fun than maybe trying to figure out solutions so everyone can have fun would be. So please give us the benefit of the doubt that we are all capable of at least spoilering potentially upsettign things so you don't gotta interact with them.

 

I know, I am just saying it to get it said, okay?

 

okay. Do you want me to back away and stop trying to solve things?

 

@cryptoThelematrix I understand the feeling, but I think that overall letting it bother you until your badfeels come out in one burst is going to be more detrimental to people wanting to play with you. I can't promise to be perfect, but I'm willing to make a good faith effort to spoil bothersome things. I like having my characters have scientific discussions with Ford.

For the record, in the future I'd appreciate non-educational sexual remarks addressed to kids below double digit equivalents being spoiled.

Edit: ninjad, it takes forever to type on mobile

 

I know, I think I just had to say it to be able to do it? :) And yes I am in fervent agreement. Also I would really like that to not happen in conversations I am party to.

 

No. I just had to say it. Does that make sense?

 

Kinda!

 

Just fyi Oar is several years to decades behind robot cast because he's not going to survive that long lbr. Also to make him look like an idiot.

 

ok everyone its 2 am again im gonna sleep now.

 

@cryptoThelematrix , I'm dredging up the point again a day later because I was asleep and so unable to respond in a more timely manner back then, and I wanted to think through my followup.

The thing I want most to clarify is that, if any of us posts to OOC saying "hey, time out, I can't handle the thing and I need a break and to talk about the thing and figure out a solution, please and thanks"? That's a good thing, a thing that makes everyone feel more safe. It's doing one of the things this thread was created for: looking out for the wellness of whoever needs the break, and reducing how often the rest of us accidentally trample on somebody's boundaries.

The shitposting rave is for freeform, low commitment, low pressure rp. Character actions have no effect on a shared world outside each other. There's no in-game reason for us to push forward with conversations if those conversations are harmful to us, and all the reason in the world for us to pause and check on our wellbeing.



When I ask stuff like "Would putting that account on ignore help?" it's because that's what I try first, and it's a sincere question: I know what works for me may not work for others.

I have a couple accounts on ignore, and I used to have even more. Some are the shockvalue-type of upset, like with the clown, where I want to have the warning of [Show Ignored Content] and people's responses before I see the posts themselves. And some others...? I've had Ford on ignore before, because his willingness to correct people about the metaphysical workings of the universe is sometimes extremely upsetting to me. But it didn't bother me for him to be in the rave having those chats, it just bothered me when I could see it and feel overwhelmed by a need to respond to him. (And it's only some of the time, too: other times, reading those conversations about worldworkings is very cool and enjoyable. So I couldn't even say anything about it without it being way too unclear to give any concrete requests) So I popped him on ignore for a bit, let myself let go of the feeling like I had to prevent the corrections, and breathed more easily. And I didn't mention it because it's embarrassing and annoying and I don't feel like talking out its origin with anybody; I was able to resolve it to my own satisfaction.

I am not a mod who decides for other people this is what you must do. I'm a mod who asks people, would this help you? and hopes for answers that help me to give more relevant, more helpful advice if it wouldn't.

If you're scared that people will not want to play with you when they realize how much stuff is unfun for you... Man, that's a majority of the reason I've been hiding from WT, to avoid stuff that's Unfun and difficult for me to handle without harm to myself. And it's not stuff like teens/adults talking sexually explicitly with children, where it's pretty clearly a violation of what's kind or appropriate in real life. It's stuff that I feel is completely absurd to be very upset by, stuff where I feel like I don't have a valid reason to ask for help with it, or where I think there is no solution that wouldn't significantly hamper others' fun.

I don't take issue with somebody saying "this is upsetting to me, and I want to work out a way to minimize my upset." I do take issue with somebody saying "this is upsetting to me so you need to stop." And I've had a lot of trouble telling which you were saying.

Realizing that something has upset you for hours, much less days or weeks, without you mentioning it to them? With you continuing to play like everything's okay, and then bringing it up later like they should have realized you were upset? That scares me. Genuinely scares me. It dredges up my issues with my mom something fierce and makes me scared to play. Walking into unseen landmines, and feeling pressured by the fear of explosions to keep myself in smaller and smaller lines, is something that I absolutely refuse to tolerate with anybody else ever again.

Right now, I'm still cautiously hopeful about playing with you again. Certainly I want to, as I love your worldbuilding and willingness to pay attention to gaps as they arise, seeking to make a more real-feeling world. If I reach a point where I'm no longer willing to, it won't be because you shared your feelings about what makes you uncomfortable or unsafe; it will be the timing and manner in which you shared those feelings. Like one of those old stories, where trying to prevent a prophecy is what fulfills it.

 

Feelings Stuff:

Just so you know, I made that confession at more or less the time I realised what was going on, okay? My biggest problem, and one I am working on, is being AWARE of what I am feeling, and how bad it is or isn't. I don't deliberately hide things from anyone. I don't know if this makes you more afraid or less afraid, but one of the ways I'm like Ford is that I'm really good at not feeling things, or at ascribing my discomfort to my characters, because I don't think I should feel the way I do on some level. I will work on this, okay? I just figured out that I've been doing this. I spent most of yesterday not talking much to anyone trying to figure it out.

I'm not like your mother. I don't do it to trip people up, which is the impression I have of her based on our conversations.

And it is always okay for you to call me on it if you think I might be doing that. I won't get angry if you ask me to back the fuck up and think about whether I'm actually angry or my character is, because sometimes I don't actually know yet.

I am having a really big problem owning how emotionally vulnerable I've become to certain topics since I had therapy several years ago because nothing used to bother me before then. I wrote a lot of things in a lot of RPGs that were kind of shocking and upsetting to other people and now I can't handle things I wouldn't have had a problem with a few years ago which makes me feel like a fraud and a hypocrite. Especially since I got in a lot of ugly arguments with antis.

I'm used to feeling a lot of character-emotion during RP so it's a shock to me when my own emotions get involved. This is the second time it's happened, though, so I think I know the symptoms now.

One way in which we are different, though, is that conflict and talking about things uses up a lot of spoons for me, so I sometimes do have to put it off until I have the energy. I will try never to put it off so long I blow up again. But I cannot always do it immediately.

Also there's probably the whole thing where my parents repeatedly told me over and over that I should just ignore shit my brother was doing that was absolutely impossible to ignore but I really do not want to go into depth about that on a public board because I do not share your love of 100% transparency about my life (I took my pic off my avatar in part because I didn't want people to image search and find it attached to a lot of things I've posted on Kintsugi, I have a job and stuff and that's a picture that's been on my facebook).

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Ford Stuff:

I don't mind if you ignore Ford in SPR. I am not sure what I would do about the fact that it upsets you that he's absolutely confident he knows how things work because that's a canonical character trait that I can't really divorce him from. He also has more reason than most people do to hold that kind of opinion since he's far more well-travelled than most people are!

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SPR Stuff:

I don't think asking people to stop doing certain things is all that unreasonable sometimes, but I'm aware that you do.

I do sometimes want people to stop doing things, and since I have no power to enforce that, I'm not sure why I shouldn't say so when that is the case.

There are some things that I feel upset only me, and are my problem to deal with, but I'm not sure that encouraging preteens to explore porno IC is one of those things, because even if it's spoilered, there's the problem for other players who choose not to look at the spoilers that this is still happening in front of their characters and why are their characters not reacting to it?

Possibly I am the only person who has this kind of problem with IC non-reaction to things, in which case I will let it drop.

In LW we had a problem once with an underage relationship, which was very integral to the players/characters' plans and they did not want it broken up, so the deal was that those characters would not carry on where they would be seen by characters who would feel obliged to do something about it and the players who may have been bothered by it would agree in return not to have their characters (who would definitely have not ignored it) go looking for trouble IC that they only knew OOC existed.

That is why it's so much of a problem when Cronus does these things with characters Ford's talking to while he's talking to them, because even if it's spoilered I can't pretend he doesn't know it's going on because it's happening in the same conversation.

There needs to be a way for characters to not know what is going on, too. Otherwise it just reads weird, like why is Ford sitting there letting some adult make sexy talk at a ten year old while he's talking to that ten year old?

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WT Stuff:

With regards to WT, while I want you to play, I don't want you to play if it's going to be harmful for you, and I'm worried about the fact that other people sometimes feel like they have to be in the middle of me and you, and I don't want that. I am really sorry that Pennarion turned out NOT to be the Utopia you were expecting but...you and I have had long conversations that I don't want to rehash in public about why I can't do utopia. Also I think WT stuff belongs on WT OOC.

 

a mechanics suggestion:

when a player puts a character on ignore, the ignored character disappears from all of the ignoring player's characters' sight/hearing/touch/taste/smell/other senses until/if the ignoring player decides to unignore the character. and if it seems like anything significant/skeevy/whatever isn't being commented on by someone who ordinarily would, we all assume by default that either that is happening or the character expected to comment on the thing doesn't have their player there.

something like that. if a player doesn't want their character(s) to be involved in something they would be expected to be involved in, the character(s) lose the ability to be aware of that particular thing. and the character(s)' awareness can fade in or out at any time, whenever and as much as the player wants.

i hope this suggestion both fits the mechanics and spirit of the rave, and addresses @cryptoThelematrix's concerns.

 

a demonstration:

@Asshole 1 appears
@Asshole 2 picks a fight with him
the shitposting orb is upset by their presence
the assholes are passive aggressive towards the shitposting orb
Not Its Problem Anymore Field appears and the orb loses its awareness of the assholes
the orb shitposts about weed, completely unaware of them
the assholes are assholery towards the orb again
the orb shitposts about summoning satan, completely unaware of them

 

oh that's what this was?

Huh. Neato.

also it gave me an excuse to have abhaya fight so WHOO

 

yep. :D

i was rather surprised - but not upset - when she jumped in, and i decided to leave that out of the quoted demonstration of the suggested mechanic since it was unanticipated and didn't add to my point.

:D

 

I have never played two seperate conversations going on with a single character of mine as if there is any enforcable need for them to not simultaneously exist twice within the rave.
Sometimes I do it on purpose
I have had a character simultaneously fade to black and carry on a conversation with someone else before though.
The Rave is a "Physics optional" Space for a reason.