Vent siggy is soggy

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by mcsiggy, Mar 1, 2017.

  1. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    i cant have some happiness in my brain w/o it telling me im worthless and or im not good enough for anything
     
  2. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    upload_2019-9-27_4-9-58.png
    i genuinely love my friends work but damn does my brain like to say otherwise
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  3. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    accidentally saw beek's twitter and i saw theyre going by zach and i'm just

    really mad?? idk why i am but i think its just, im mad theyre moving on and i feel like i havent been able to at all, i feel entirely broken all the time, i dont know what to do anymore and i feel like every day i should just end all i do cuz jsut no matter how many people say they like my stuff or how many times i tell myself im worth it, something always reminds me that im not and i can't do anything and im worthless

    im so afriad of talking to anyone anymore because of that experience, im intimidated by my friends, im afraid of asking things w/o nearly having a panic attack, just, i want this feeling to stop,

    and every time i see spinel i get angry cuz all i see is me and i hate it i hate knowing that im like that and i hate knowing that i feel like ill never improve or get past this mindset i have because of past experiences
     
    Last edited: Sep 28, 2019
  4. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    and im mad my brain turns saddness into being horny but if i do that then i hate my body so im not winning all around!!!
     
  5. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    re-reading my messages is a trip lmao why am i like this
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  6. Lizardlicks

    Lizardlicks Friendly Neighborhood Lizard

    Because brains are fucking wack.
     
    • Agree x 1
  7. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    im trying so hard to tell myself that i dont need constant validation from my friends. I try to show as much support as i can by liking/retweeting and supporting their stuff if i see it, but sometimes i get sad when i post art, any art, even if it does align w/ their interests and mine, they never seem to see or like it or show any acknowledgement if i show it to them personally, but if i retweet/reblog anything else, they'll like that and just

    hh,, trying to not be selfish or think they hate me but,,, i just feel like they do and idk,,
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  8. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

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    • Witnessed x 4
  9. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    I'm... so unsure how ill pay my taxes for next year at this rate...
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  10. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    hate how i can see them for a half second and my mood drops 100% and i just, cant do anything i even attempted to plan to do today.
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  11. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    is it like, weird of me to wish I can ask the homestuck team if i can make pesterquest sprites too? or like, hope i can be reached out to do one of them? just hhh, i feel like that's me thinking im better than others but i guess i just, think i have the potential to do that. :(
     
  12. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    maybe me being a half porn artist was my downfall lol, i know most people would think im a gross person when, im not? idk. i felt like whatever interaction i had w/ anyone to toastyhat to clockheart to some one else, i feel like i fucked up real bad. and it may sound like i was trying to talk to them to get to better opportunities but it's like, i genuinely thought/think theyre nice and i'd love to talk to them more, but i never knew what to say so i just, kind of fell off the ball and was a dipshit.
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  13. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    honestly i think zines are keeping me very sane, it's challenging me on doing my best and im glad i can do what i can to show i'm giving it my all.
     
  14. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    upload_2019-10-24_7-20-38.png

    -sweats @ myself since i'm half winging/half have an idea what i want lol,,,-

    i know like, maybe if i can, i wanna actually make a small coherent story that wont be however the fuck long it'll be w/ some oc's i have that aint my main three, but thats for like, another day entirely.
     
  15. Lizardlicks

    Lizardlicks Friendly Neighborhood Lizard

    One person's personal preference doesn't really dictate of something is "good" or not though. I'd still like VE if it wandered around with no real resolution because its a comic that feels like the point is to take in the world. It's been all hashed out past history through generations and interpersonal relationship that meander through a premise of "fantasy is completely real and also normal and everyone still has regular people problems."
     
    • Informative x 1
  16. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    ;;;;; <3 <3
     
    • Like x 1
  17. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    I realized im,,, legit comparing myself and being incredibly jealous at other fanartists who aren't my friends who are like, i guess more popular than me? or their work is shared farther and faster than my work and, even then i get jealous and, maybe very angry at some friends i wanna show my work but they never seem to see my stuff but see other stuff i retweet/reblog to the point where im just, i dont know..

    this is the worst kind of thinking i have and idk what to do about it, im scared,,
     
    • Witnessed x 2
  18. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    i just feel awful all around, even when i make fanart and even if it does get praised and such, its just... feels like it's hallow or nothing for me. idk what i want, idk why im like this and im just, i wanna cry all the time...
     
    • Witnessed x 1
  19. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    how do u stop being like this @ google for myself
     
  20. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    talked to my friend about this and they told me that im trying to pursue attention from people who seem to be in their own little group when it comes to their stuff being popular?

    i dont fully remember what he said but its... got me thinking and im gonna try to not be so bitter and just, draw what I like and remember that my art style is ME, no one elses.
     
    • Agree x 1
    • Winner x 1
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