Vent siggy is soggy

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by mcsiggy, Mar 1, 2017.

  1. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    ngl but?? i kind of wish my friend wouldn't send me 5 paragraphs of something that i might not care about not out of hating it but that i cannot just,, read 5 paragraphs of something out of the blue.

    cuz i've told them a good amount of times that i just.. dont have a reasonable response half the time cuz whatever theyre talking about most of the time is something i am not interested in or have little to no opinion on.

    i just, i feel so shitty for just, not being interested in the thing they have to say, especially when they didnt ask me beforehand if i was okay to let them ramble onto me??

    idk i feel awful :'|
     
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  2. keltka

    keltka the green and brown one

    I don't think you're being fair to yourself on that point—I knew someone who used to do that to me, even when I had specifically said "hey I do not have the spoons, time, or energy to read an entire page of your fanfiction right now, can you wait until I say I do?", then upped it to "please wait to send me these things until I say I have energy for them", then again to "do not send me this."

    they still sent it to me! and it sucked! and that's when I realized that I wasn't the asshole, I had set a boundary and they were repeatedly ignoring it because they thought their shit was more important than my boundary

    that kinda sounds like what's happening to you here
     
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  3. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    after a week of following beek now im like

    dang :/ nervous feeling is back but its like, out of annoyance? idk.

    maybe my rose tinted glasses are fully off or falling off where i can just, really be annoyed at them and actively dislike some of the stuff they do, but i also know it's like, it's their own thing so imma not really complain lol.

    but i do now know that i am very just :// at edgy characters.
     
  4. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    might've put myself in a spot but >:/ i... do want to like, idk, try and put stuff behind me and start fresh but we hardly interacted since we last talked so /shrug

    kind of do feel like theyre on/trying to be on my good side so they can feel better about themselves or, idk. i might be thinking too hard lol. cuz i do wanna at least talk to them again? but now i don't have anything to say or at all, cuz i feel like if i try to share my oc's they won't glance at them but if i ask about theirs theyll post a small storm of them.

    cuz i know they didnt try to interact w/ me at the event but im also glad they didnt cuz their oc they had out for the time was just... annoyingly edgy where i wouldve gotten legit mad at them to stop since it was an event as well.

    it's the type that could cause problems or ic drama when it... doesnt have to be there either.

    i dunno, im trying to not think about this or talk to some peeps about this since i already talked about them so much where i know it sounds like im addicted or possessive when i'm just??

    very upset still and, i suppose mad?
     
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  5. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    its been a lil while lol.

    I'm like, hhh, more annoyed and tired of people shitting on artists for making something squicky of fictional characters. like, the kind of shitting where they do witch hunts, call the artist a pedophile when they dont have actual proof of that, and like, treat cartoon characters like theyre living breathing people.

    just... im not into shota/loli, most stuff w/ incest and other squicky things antis hate but, damn i do get worried for even liking something that has something that's not in those categories but will still be shamed for liking it. (in my case, student/teacher stuff, some dubcon and even stuff w/ gore, but even then i'm picky with most of that)

    just... i wish people had a brain or thought about things a little more. im afraid of saying anything among my new other group of friends cuz i get... scared if i say anything wrong, they'll ostracize me from the new community im in and i'll be labeled as a predator when i've done nothing even close to predatory behavior.
     
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  6. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    upload_2020-3-31_8-10-51.png
    Real sick and tired of people being shitty to people who make nsfw, like i'm on mangapopus' side on wanting to like an artist but all they do is witch hunt and be shitty to other people where it's hard to enjoy their stuff.

    cuz legit, it's fine to not like someones art cuz they made nsfw of a character u like, or they make something squicky to you, but HOLY SHIT am i tired of this kind of mentality of 'calling someone out' when there's no proof they did anything legit wrong. cuz, SURPRISINGLY, if they wanna do this shit to the artist who drew the covers, they should go after rebecca sugar too who also drew ed edd n eddy nsfw but :) they aint gonna go that far cuz you know why :))
     

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  7. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    hh i feel like im falling out of love with homestuck, which.. makes me real sad cuz i still like it but im just

    idk, not really into much of what i see anymore ;;

    i know i mostly blame the fandom and im very disconnected from it now but.. sigh :'|
     
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  8. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    i feel bad for thinking bi/pan lesbian is silly cuz i just?? i really don't get it. it legit confuses me. cuz it's like, it kind of erases what being bisexual and pansexual means all together. cuz you can have a preference for women if you yourself identify as one or whatever. (like im nonbinary but i lean towards women but i still see myself as bi cuz i still also like men and other peeps too)

    just idk, i can be very ignorant and wrong on this like how i am with he/him lesbians but im not gonna fight people over it, it's not worth trouble and plus it's their life so who am i to say what they can and cant do with it?
     
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  9. Lizardlicks

    Lizardlicks Friendly Neighborhood Lizard

    This is why I hate the concept of "political lesbians". you can't be an orientation as a political statement. you can be bi or pan and choose to date exclusively women as a political statement! but stop flying in the face of "no you can't actually choose who you're attracted to that shit just happens"!!!
     
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  10. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    the fact that i'm just, remembering things that happened to me when i was younger, but brushed it off cuz i didnt fully process at the time or i was hella distracted to realize my situation just...

    can't believe im also one of peeps who were also groomed but never processed it until a lil over 10 years later lmao.

    cuz just,
    realizing i was not only groped by one person on a trip once when i was about 14ish or so, but ever since middle school or so i was also slowly groomed by a friends older brother, nearly had sex with him with another girl, who was 2 years younger than me (i was 16 at this point) then just, i guess somehow completely blocked it out of my mind cuz i was too focused on my friendship with another person at the time. at least he went to prison, but... now i'm like, now i think i see why i'm SO sensitive to being called a predator, aside from the obvious, but also knowing someone in my family who was falsely accused of said crime, but just... yeah. i'm also another survivor who's supposed to be 'protected' but :') i guess i dont count cuz i like some stuff not everyone else likes.
     
    Last edited: May 6, 2020
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  11. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    big brain is not understanding something when it comes to a gender thing but still support someone having it because that is them
     
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  12. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    I feel silly for being upset that someone who became mutuals with me unfollowed me and now im just, idk, i feel bad but i know i didnt do much to engage, or when i tried to, i feel like i was being a huge annoyance. idk, maybe i didnt post much they enjoy and thats okay, i guess im just, hella bummed about it cuz now when i see them post im just

    sad? i dunno. i know im overreacting so, ill get over it hopefully soon. just kind og bummed cuz they followed me after i made them something after i accompanied them to a small hello get together with another person and we had a cute rp and i made art as a thanks for the little fun for a few hours, but now just, hh.

    i dunno. i feel bad cuz i dont know how much we have in common in general so i guess it's for the best.
     
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  13. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    i know it's me trying to cater and please everyone and im doing my damnest to tell myself that it's okay not everyone likes what i make but my other part of my brain is going i need to cater to everyone or else.
     
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  14. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    wanting to join every single thing everyones doing but knowing i cant despite me loving being apart of the current thing im in now
     
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  15. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    my curse is feeling left out of things while being included in things
     
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  16. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    i wanna draw homestuck again after seeing some of it on my dash but im so afraid cuz how i draw the characters it's not different or unique like everyone elses :'|
     
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  17. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    a lot of my fears i feel like im just?? being so selfish wanting attention, wanting to have praise from everyone and also wanting to please everyone too. getting upset when certain people don't give me attention when i make something i'd assume theyd like just ughgh

    i wish i wasnt like this
     
  18. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    i also feel bad for having a hard time to even show attention to half my friends stuff anymore, i try to show i see it if i can, i appreciate what everyone does and idk how to express it ;;;;
     
  19. keltka

    keltka the green and brown one

    if it helps any! I've been hype to see what you'll make literally since you signed up for drone season (before then too but still!)
     
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  20. mcsiggy

    mcsiggy Is actually a small floof ball on top of a cow

    ;;; <3 <3

    thank you aaa, im glad i signed up, i needed it to pick me up and such, you know? im excited to see what u make too!
     
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