"Silly" and "strange" triggers

Does anyone else have a weird little thing that sets them off that lots of people think is dumb and don't take seriously? Because I'm sent into aggressive attack mode and anxiety spirals by tickling due to a former family member. My general experience with the tickling thing is that many don't get it or demand to know why I don't like it. Which I prefer not to disclose to every random person I know. That or they get mad at me for "being weird" or "not having fun", even after I've explained that I'm just really not comfortable with it but these other sorts of affectionate touching are entirely fine.

Is anybody else dicked over by this sort of thing?

 

feferi hate!! i based a lotta my identity on her and some of the criticisms specifically remind me of ways abusers treated me so idk. it seems irrational but its the quickest way 4 me to dissociate p instantly and it scares me!

 

trigger as in PTSD: speakers on in another room
trigger as in rage/very very uncomfortable: the former, at times i'm close to overloading and ppl being ppl noises pisses me off. even just talking. the latter, people pulling their eyes is a huge 'nnnnnnnnnnope' for me.

 

functional and happy queer parents on tv! makes me irrationally angry and/or severley uncomfortable. this is firmly a me problem and it's. an annoying problem to have.

 

TICKLING, seconded.

i'm triggered by ratatouille-- the food, not the movie. The taste of port plus bleu cheese. Figs. French cuisine in general is something that the man who raped me almost ruined, which i fight hard against because i fucking love food.

 

Spoiler

Trigger as in dissociate at high speeds and cry and panic: Random Kin tagging my art or fiction as anything similar to 'Memories'.
Trigger as in panic and crying and being unable to focus: The smell of mold, stale water, garbage, or the sight of fruit flies
Trigger as in rage: Speaking to me as if I'm some uneducated child when we'd been talking normally just prior, anything that reeks of condescension will get me up your ass at high speeds and essentially have you on my "I can never trust you" list for some time.

Fics where folks cheat on each or there's unrequited love and suffering will send me down in a spiral for days. ... Uhhhhh. also oddly most het ships in general will either make me start crying and get bitey on myself and uncomfortable or not affect me at all, I'm still working out what precisely causes a reaction by exposure which is. Time consuming.

There's others but those are the odder ones for me.

 

cronus apologism, that one scene of steven universe where amethyst is covered in goo, and ppl responding to my messages w one word answers

first two are because of Everyones Favorite Asshole and last one is bc my ex never actually told me when he was angry hed just kind of expect me to figure it out

 

oh also crane flies but thats very much a severe phobia thing

 

it's not, like, a trigger in the PTSD sense, but tickling is also a huge problem for me. two of my uncles (on different sides of the family) both tickled me a lot when i was a kid, one in genuinely good spirits, one mostly meaning well but also because he's a bit of a bully. i'm genuinely unsure whether it bothered me at the time when Good Uncle did it, but when Jerk Uncle did it it made me angry as hell.

that + my anxiety combined for a fun period in my life where i would startle hugely and sometimes physically lash out if people unexpectedly touched my sides. i also couldn't watch my home videos of me as a kid after they were transferred to DVD because people were always tickling kid!me on them. and even though i know my baby cousin really genuinely enjoys being tickled, seeing her play with Jerk Uncle and him tickling her made me so uncomfortable I had to leave the room.

bleh!

 

... it WAS really cute, though, when i explained to my baby cousin that i really didn't like being tickled she was extremely perplexed but went along with it.

then she'd go up to me or other adults and say "i'm reaaaaally ticklish! don't touch my belly!" in an imitation of me and giggle. i can't believe i got owned by this baby

 

instant fear/anxiety/panic/upset triggers: people knocking on my door, the door to my room being open, my dad sitting on my bed, footsteps near my door, the sight/sound/smell of the things that are covered in rubber and big enough to sit on but look like building blocks similar to this, light coming in through my windows, purple clocks, flies (like any and all flies. I hate flies. flies of all kinds, they are Bad), people being even slightly aggressive towards me, parasitic creatures that lay eggs in another living creature (only ones that do that, parasites that just live in your body and leech off you are fine, for some reason), those games you play as a kid where you pretend to be something else like a rabbit, and yeah that's all the ones I can stomach thinking about without panicking right now but there are more

anger triggers: happy functional families on TV, blatant abuse in things that is just brushed aside as totes fine

 

Cottonballs end me.

Also I feel like the culture I'm in gets why forced hair cutting is traumatic, but only enough so to know that that's a "good" tool to wield when wanting to bully someone into doing what you want. Or to punish them. But that it isn't consciously gotten that forced hair cutting is supremely fucked up and more just viewed as something silly.

You wouldn't use that as a deeply upsetting threat Mother if you didn't understand on some level what that means.

 

also directly trauma associated ones r people banging on walls and discussion of abuse in academic contexts in general

 

I'm not sure if it really counts as a trigger or more of a... idk, squick seems wrong just through connotations but. But regardless, the phrase 'oh, everyone does that', especially if accompanied by 'you'll [have to] get used to it' just basically fills me with rage and despair and makes me give up on trying to get my point across entirely. Anything that tries to persuade me that i am in some way normal or average gets much the same reaction. Special snowflake or bust, apparently.

 

The song "Don't You Want Me, Baby" is a pretty bad anger trigger for me - the kid who used to grab my tits on the bus would sing it in my ears.

 

Holy shit @Aondeug, tickling is the Absolute Worst Thing. I adore many types of affectionate touching, but that one is a big sensory No for me.

People's reactions can be so incredibly terrible. Demands for explanations are common. There's no small number who refuse to believe me even when I do explain. A few seem somehow personally affronted? I mean what the fuck. I'm setting a totally reasonable physical boundary over the ways in which others are allowed to have access to my body. If that's a difficult concept we have a *huge* problem.

A lot of these people decide they need to test it for themselves. Then I become violent because the only way I have found to actually stop people is to cause pain. (I do warn people about this ahead of time. It seems to make no difference whatsoever in their desire to tickle me for not wanting to be tickled.) Screaming seems to be taken as encouragement. I definitely don't want to seriously injure anyone, but at this point it's a panic reaction and my control is limited. They are hurting me. I will kick and I will scratch.

I've never had anyone require medical attention. I've also never had anyone try it twice.

 

ah shit that did remind me..

Loud voices, angry tones when a voice is raised, stomping, doors slamming, and people sounding/appearing drunk are a quick way to Nopeville for me.

 

I'm not a fan of tickling because no???? don't???? touch me???? if you have not asked???? and if you ask to tickle me I will say no because I hate hate hate hate hate hate tickling? like, it is legitimately also a trigger for me as well, so. but basically if I'm being tickled it means my consent is being bypassed and fuck you.
.....also, I hate hugs from people in person unless I specifically ask for one or say they can hug me. and head pats. if you fucking touch my head I will rip your goddamn hand off.

 

like, specifically pats though. like tapping on the head with your palm or fingers. petting is fine, but a tap is guaranteed to get me to want to hurt you in five seconds flat.

 

Anxiety trigger: Takin a long time to find something that's missing and trying on clothing. Particularly doing either if these things in my mom's prescense.

She has improved, but I still wait for being screamed at about waating time or having bad clothin tastes, or threats of being smacked because I'm not actually looking, I'm just moving things around and if she actually finds ut then she will let me have it.

She never actually did, but her glare and tone would be enough to leave me a mess.