Sleepy Gremlin Den

Discussion in 'Your Bijou Blogette' started by VJ Wocky, Aug 22, 2020.

  1. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    been meaning to make one of these for a while but, as typical for me, i kept trying to make it ~perfect~ and ~organized~ or some shit when i KNOW thats gonna fall apart at best. SO, fuck that noise. im messy and imperfect and im fucking allowed OKAY.

    anyway, still gonna try to keep this mostly positive since i have a bad habit of being NEGATIVE AS ALL HELL. seriously im like a meatspace copy of eeyor if he hulked out. SO. attempt at neutral to positive shit goes here. i got a vent blog for the rest.


    *edit aug 6, 2021*

    yeah, no, neutral to positive isn't really possible for where im at mentally. like as a baseline im not there yet. and i might never get there. but cutting off all talking because "if you can't say something nice don't say anything at all" isn't really a good bit of advice when you've been through hell and back before you even hit puberty.

    i NEED to get out that frustration and negativity. its not just "a bad attitude" its legitimate grievance with shit situations i never should have been put in, and denying myself the right to acknowledge that is just hurting myself.

    so this is your heads up that im a cranky fucker and thats gonna come out here. i'll try to keep the actual meltdowns in my vent post though.
    Last edited: Aug 6, 2021
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  2. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    been having fun playing stoneblock2. so far have a massive dome hollowed out (thank you rftools builder!) and gonna put a little village in there. brain is too scrapped raw to think of a layout lately but fuck-it it'll get done eventually. ender io pipes are hands-down my new favorites. so easy to pack shit into the same space and so easy to control. the machines are pain in the ass but the pipes are mostly making up for that.

    oh, first encounter with destableized redstone in teh mining dimention scared the shit out of me. just going along digging and suddenly looks like blood in the floor. also didn't help that it only occures in teh range that'll get you teleported back to the "overworld" so if you go down to get it you're suddenly somewhere else. extremely tempted to just dig a long tunnel and set up a builder to quarry it all out for me. buuuuuut im not that hard up on resources atm so it'll have to wait

    also gonna try and get started on the draconic evolution shit so i can make the energy storage core thing. right now i've got 2 gargantuan flux network things, 1 resonant adn enchanted thermal expansion energy core, 1 ender io capacater (don't remember what kind) and they're all full. and that's WHILE im running an automated mystical agriculture essence farm. to be fair they're automated with the garden cloche so very little power usage, but i've also got a rftools crafting thingy automatically upgrading teh essences so there's a constant power drain there too. but apparently my shit lava gen setup is enough to keep up. don't know how but it is.

    once i get my village set up and the various machines/automations set up ill be using more power more consistantly

    oh! and i got an automatic slime farm with slimy saplings from loot chests in bonsai pots. i have that pumping into another rftools crafter to make them into the 9slime blocks instead of the 4slime blocks adn then pumping that back out into barrels. the green slime already gunked up the system to i had to add a void upgrade cause really who needs more than 64x64 9slime blocks? espeically when i can always get more
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  3. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    started on compact claustrophobia modpack.
    ....really leans into some toilet humor but, well, stoneblock had you twerking to grow trees at first so...yeah

    actually had the bright idea of realizing the bedrock...bubble you spawn into is big enough to use as extra storage space so feeling pretty damn smart right now
    anyway i think this pack appeals to me because of my tendency to do the whole "can't see the forest for the trees" thing. like im in a 3x3x3 cube or in a 2x3x1 bedrock box. i kinda got nothing but the 'trees' here. no 'forest' to speak of yet.

    very immediate problem solving. very satisfying. good for caveman brain. krug content.
  4. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    oooo. okay. that might be a gamebreaker. there is radiation in here and non-symmetrical multiblock building shit.

    krug brain hurt

    i mean i'll at least fucking try it but def gonna be a little grumpy about it while doing so is pretty cute how they use the compact machines' shrinking thingys to make animal spawn eggs and mushrooms though

    as for my stoneblock map: im having to chart out the chain of resources and machines so i know where im gonna store shit, where im going to pump it, and what machines are gonna be there (and what filters i'm gonna need)

    so also a little brain hurty but not too bad, i just need to save up some spoons for it and take my time
  5. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    went back to stoneblock for a while.

    for those who don't play it, it contains the Pam's Harvestcraft mod which adds a lot of different foodstuffs and cooking utensils. some of these foodstuffs come off trees. to get saplings of these trees you take three of the thing that comes off them (lets say, apples) and put them in a crafting grid with any old sapling

    ...guys, i tried to make a coal tree

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  6. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    i found a way to cheese leather : string (grown on trees in bonsai pots)-> woven cloth (pam's harvestcraft) -> 'leather' chest armor -> sawmill (thermal expansion) -> leather

    i also discovered the wondrous joy of exchangers. especially paired with a fluxmagnet and a /dank/null/. too bad the damn things are fucking expensive to make. still worth it.
  7. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    been quiet for a while due to meatspace shit. still doing okay. found some hacks for some of my brain problems, still trying out others. new shrink is working out so far.

    woke up irritable again but doesn't seem to be sticking like it used to, so that's nice.
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  8. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    okay so "keep things neutral to positive" isn't gonna work
    in hindsight (and with more therapy) that...makes a lot of sense
    new attempt: the "im having an active meltdown" stuff is gonna go on vent thread and the rest of my naturally crabby bs is gonna go here. because if i don't vent it at all i just don't TALK at all
    so this is a heads up

    gonna change the top post of this thread to reflect that in just a sec
    • Like x 2
  9. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    if i had the energy to laugh hysterically i would rn
    i finally, finally, decide to drop the ban on negativity here and elsewhere and suddenly good things start happening???
    like im commiserating with people? on things that piss us both off? and its cathartic?!?
    like what bullshit is this, i finally allow it to metaphorically storm and thunder and the freaking sun finally comes out what the shit
  10. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    you ever read a thing and think "oh this is great! i like this" only to look at who posted it, see your own icon and username and IMMEDIATLY become gandalf all "i have no memory of this place"

    like HELLO, YES, BRAIN? who was driving that day? who piloted the shittiest meat mecha that afternoon? they seem to have moved on and i want to call them back. i would also like them to return any and all memories they stole when they left because THOSE ARE SUPPOSED TO STAY WITH THE MEAT MECHA. HOW CAN WE KEEP GOOD RECORDS OF TECHNICAL FAILURES WITH INCOMPLETE DATA???
  11. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    it's a bitch of a time to be both a traumatized motherfucker and appreciate darkfic

    like imma need a 1-10 scale for these tags, with 1 being "light angst with a happy ending :D" and 10 being a near-universal 'YOU.SHALL.NOT.PASS.' sign. or a "this is not a place of honor" sign. SOMETHING

    like i can handle most shit up to a point and that point is right before "bring a box of tissues and pre-schedule a therapy session or two for after this"

    but the tags themselves don't really tell me where on that scale its gonna be so its like...mentally starve for content that is RIGHT THERE or take a gamble and fall into the mental equivalent of a bear trap that i then have to metaphorically chew my own leg off to get out of
    ~hmmm, decisions~:thonk:
  12. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    forgot to mention made a breakthrough recently with shrink at like...the last possible moment before they left for maternity leave
    so yeah. dealing with that whole "i'm angry because im frustrated that im angry because im frustrated" loop MUCH better now

    many spoons saved instead of getting caught in the mental garbage disposal

    and jesus im brain melted if it took me two+ full minutes to google what the fuck that thing was called again. like i legit typed "what is the thing in the kitchen sink that goes brrr" at one point
  13. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    just came across a fic with the tag [Izuku Midoriya is a Sinnamon Troll] and BOY HOWDY am i looking forward to that C:<

    *edit* in other news i am waaaaay past my bedtime but still sneaking in a quick fic beforehand and, due to being out of my mind tired, when tokoyami did his whole "mad banquet of darkness" thing my brain spat out "what fresh picnic of daylight is this?" in response and HO BOY i haven't choked on spit like that in a while

    which just goes to show when im tired as fuck or high on nyquil (and thus sick) i am SO MUCH FUNNIER AND SMARTER than when im not
    Last edited: Aug 16, 2021
  14. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    i am terrible at posting here but im trying not to beat myself up over it
    in other news: found a game called strange horticulture and i am LOVING it

    nice chill pacing. cute kitty that you can pet and they purr. ~*~SORTING~*~ (look i used to sort restaurant condiments for fun, don't at me). puzzle game. bit of a murder mystery but so far no quicktime events and fairly little gore (all of which in stylized monochrome). cool and dark rainy environment (and when its gonna be triple digits in freaking may thats such a nice thing)
    • Like x 2
  15. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    soooo turns out first day i had the game i played for 4 hours strait
    ...yeah. i think i might just be a little bit hooked. just a little.
    okay a lot. but i got one of multiple endings! oh yeah i learned it has multiple endings
    im guessing at least 4 since i noticed there were at least that many Big Obvious Turning Points in the story
    still no quick-time events but the very very ending does do the tense music thing but not too much or too long
    that and i finally found one, maaaaaaaybe two things that were irritating about the game but they are SO minor
    1) when a thing asks for more than one plant and you do the thing and it returns the plants, it'll return one plant to where you had it just fine. maybe even two if you're lucky. but that third one is ABSOLUTELY gonna be in some random fucking place and mess up whatever passes for order that you had going on
    2) there was ONE puzzle that i disagreed with the solution to but only by one square and its not like it penalized me, it was just annoying and a little bit time consuming. but like...this is the game where i spent like 5 whole minutes rearranging the plants because i had a better idea for how to sort them. and i did that FOR FUN. time consuming is relative and this was minor
  16. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    still alive
    one day i will figure out how not to go radio silent when shit ISN'T on fire for once, but clearly its not yet that time

    anyway: its been long enough since my hip/pelvis spontaneously unfucked itself that i can now confidently say that while it didn't cause any of my chronic health issues, it did make almost all of them much MUCH worse than they would have been other wise.

    changes/improvements i've noticed so far:
    • chronic gut problems have improved by like...70%. they're still there but now they don't fuck me up for a week at a time, and the meds that work for me i don't need to take as often or at such high doses. and the overall pain from it all is almost completely gone. like i think the acid stuff might have mostly been because some soft tissue was streatching in the worst possible place and so stuff was leaking where it didn't belong???
    • chronic (hip/pelvis) pain went from a 5-7 depending on if bad/good day down to like...a background of 1-2. which is INSANE. immediately went down to like a 4-5 from a 7-8 at time of adjustment, and most of that seems to have been the tendons/ligaments getting used to being in this configuration for the first time ever. so as that happened the pain dropped off further
    • stress/anxiety seems to have chilled out a bit since im not just... in constant unending pain like i was before and my ptsd was always going "is that a threat? new threat? old threat? am i dying? yes? yes? no???"
    • sleeping better and more often and for longer. like my quality of sleep still isn't great but its leaps and bounds better than it was before. and like...i can actually stay in bed longer? im not forced to leave before im ready because my spine/hip/bones in general are starting a revolt if i don't go vertical in the next 5 minutes.
    • THE RACCOON EYES OF DOOM ARE ACTUALLY GOING AWAY?!?!? no like seriously i was approaching gaara levels here and now they're lightening and the skin under my eyes feels softer and fuller than it has since i was freaking 5 years old. what the heck?
    so not sure if this is as good as its gonna get or if more shit is gonna unfuck itself because of this eventually. at this point i don't even know. hell i don't even know if my hip/pelvis will refuck itself at some point or not. i'm just enjoying what break from bs i can get right now
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  17. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    couple of days later the raccoon eyes of doom have further improved
    one eye now looks like it belongs to someone my age who's lived a rough life
    the other still looks like it belongs on vampire that just woke up and is Having A Bad Time
    both of which are improvements

    like its unsettling
    i don't look like myself
    but in a good way???
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  18. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    uuuuuuuuuuuugh. had an allergy day and had to take nyquil to reset it cause nothing else was working and now my shitshow excuse for a sleep "schedule" is fucked to hell and back

    also just caught up on a new webcomic i like so no new content for a while. and i'm burned out on what i was doing before that. and i can't do the OTHER things i want to do rn because its Summer still and that means at any time the power could go out and i'd have to switch to survival mode and get the hell out before my own home kills me. which isn't conductive to rest/relaxation/or minimizing stress. also not good for any sort of computer program that relies on shit actually working to not suddenly corrupt itself and anything it was touching.

    not that i can really even use the computer for any length of time during the day because it makes my room hotter than it already is

    bluuuuuuuuugh. hate being overheated and bored and stressed and tired and and and...

    fucking sucks
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  19. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    put myself down for a nap and feel better

    fucking toddler hour but sleep schedule brain machinery broken so its just fucking random

    ...anyway. still a little spicy but no longer breathing fire about it. i'll take it
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  20. VJ Wocky

    VJ Wocky 36 Somnolent Void Seeks Perfection in Dissonance

    ...i had a spot on one of my tonsils that i gently poked at and instead i accidentally poked a little hole in it. so thats a thing that happened.
    the bleeding was tiny and already mostly stopped so im not super anxious about it but uh yeah...not good, regardless
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