bad news: turns out my recent bout of brain fuckery was most likely caused by trying to force it on a sleep schedule, which i am physically not equipped to be able to do, at all, of any kind good news: i'm picking up on the warning signs of my blood sugar tanking BEFORE it hits the OH SHIT phase. so for what is maybe the first time ever i went and got food, ate it, and skipped the "oh god i'm dying" phase altogether. which was quite nice. i also figured out that my gait is wonky because the way my hip/pelvis was oriented before prevented me from using certain muscle groups as-intended. so i've started working on fixing that and its been helping with some residual chronic pain in the area already. i just have to be careful not to over do it or i'll get an ass cramp
...someone is trying to pick a fight with me on tumblr, because i agreed with them but didn't kiss their ass about it (and pointed out how their point could be stronger. like fuck i'm helping dude what the shit? XD) i'm tempted to say something but honestly i think i'd be funnier to just block them and be radio silent about them and their little tantrum while i go off and have fun elsewhere like...you left this shit on my doorstep dude but that don't mean i can't just...push it into the garden as free fertilizer and go on with my day
reading ava's demon. ho boy. still not sure why there was a bit a while back about it being ~Pure Evil~ or whatever, and coming from tumblr i mostly don't care. i'm betting the author/artist was a homestuck tho. wrathia and maggie both give off big Vriska vibes even if wrathia is more that role and maggie is ...maybe more the worst parts of terezi. but dear god poor ava. like tavros if he was haunted by an adult vriska from birth. their own personal sleep paralysis demon. like yeah homestuck isn't where those types of characters or dynamics first showed up but they ARE where i first saw them as...not just villains. like they ARE assholes and they do fill the villain role quite nicely but they aren't treated as 'just' villains, and nothing else, by the narrative. honestly the whole comic has done a good job making just about everyone an asshole of some flavor, even if only from another character's perspective olai gives me big shigaraki vibes so wouldn't be surprised if some other bnha elements slip in. the little sister triplets also seem familiar but im not sure from where (and no i don't mean the names). a bit worried about odin's eye tho. not sure star goo from a different demon than the one bound to you is good for you. and that combined with the name...
oh shit stratos whatsthey'rename is haunted too aren't they? cause the only other people who survived ava's little lava show who were exposed directly to it were other vessels like odin and the intermission dude...and robo six person and here i thought gil would be a hard sell...would be cool as shit to turn the goddamn second in command although im positive if they ARE haunted they haven't made a pact edit: you know what, no. im not done yet. strategos was grabbed and yanked down into goddamn lava and, somehow, survived while the person in the goddamn roboificater 9000 with ava was extra crispy even though their little mecha body was done. so i'm not buying that #6 just survived without some goddamn fuckery afoot. that and the specific things the roboificater 9000 does to someone. the eyecaps, the artificial ears, the...fuckery that is that mouthpiece. it'd hide the weird eyes of a vessel and might also act to HIDE A GHOST from the one they're haunting. similarly the little ears to hide any unwanted sounds. and my first thought with that tube down their throat was that they CAN'T be speaking normally. it HAS to be some kind of brain-chip filter thing. which would absolutely be able to hinder unwanted communication. could probably mute someone and do a partial sensory deprivation...wait no, a TOTAL sensory deprivation on command if they wanted. block out all sight, sound, touch (it IS a robobody after all, no matter how organic the base), taste is already gone, and smell is just as easy as touch to block. fuck it keeps getting worse the longer i think about it, and it was bad to begin with. also not sure about odin having a pact or not, because that scar IS zipper shaped and now that i went back and looked at the little flashback with magpie Tall, Dark, and Spooky UNFUCKINGZIPPED himself into nightmarefuel. so i'm guessing its entirely possible for that zipper to be the equivalent of ava's drawer or maggie's door
nothing like a new story idea to make me find a new fave band because nothing i had before fit quite well enough for the whole song-list-inpiration-playlist thingy that happens like fucks sake the themes are popping out left right and center and not even being subtle about it, but i love it
Spoiler: gross meatsuit stuff ow a cyst i've had for 5+ years just burst open on its own i think i've got most of the gunk out but its swollen as shit rn funnily enough it actually hurts LESS than before it drained motherfucker was sitting just above a blood vessel or nerve or something on the side of my head gave me headaches (that got worse and more frequent as it got bigger) but docs were useless hopefully it'll heal up and not like...form a new one or some shit in the same spot (and yes i have cleaned it and disinfected it and put an antibiotic on it)
i now have both a migraine and a tension headache on that side of my head turns out it WAS sitting on a nerve and now that its gone the nerves are OVERsending signals trying to make up for lost time also had a nightmare it was back so thats a thing to look forward to i guess ...fuck i'm tired
been a few days but the gross meatsuit thing had a hidden surprise that has now been as taken care of as its gonna get for a while and has FINALLY started properly healing now the head pain is mostly phantom pain on that side. like it got so used to sending pain signals it forgot that it technically needed a prompt to do so and just started up again even if the origin wasn't there. meant i got some real trippy sensations running my fingers over that part of my head as my nerves went "wait, that doesn't actually hurt. STOP SIGNALS...wait, no, SEND ALL SIGNALS...nope, false alarm! stop pain signals" before forgetting about an hour later and starting up the habit again in better news, now that that side of my head isn't in constant 'low-grade' agony the neck muscles on that side have stopped fucking up my spine as bad and the pain that was causing has slowly unfucked itself too ...which now that i think about it would also probably explain why the shoulder on that side fucked up tonight. its been damaged for a while but the muscle tension might have been helping to keep it stable. no more tension = no more stability and it just jiggled itself a tiny bit out of socket out of nowhere ...FUCKING MEATSUITS I SWEAR TO FUCK
good news: the shoulder has jiggled itself BACK. INTO. PLACE. and so far has not jiggled itself the fuck back out yet pray for mojo that it doesn't try again
