So Many Striders - Now With Illustrations!

"Um?" Hal stretches his arms up above his head, testing how much easier the motion is (a lot), before flopping onto his back on the bed, legs stretched out and hands resting on his stomach.

"Oh hey, I was wondering, d'you think it'd be fun to invite over all the roboticists in the group at some point? We could have a robot battle on the roof, although we'd have to put strict limits on robot size and weapons capability knowing, well, all of us. Who even would it be, there's you an' me, ARquius, Equius, Jade, uh... Roxy's much less into building bots than coding, and the troll with the duality thing is the same- Sollux? Yeah, that was it." Dirk might be feeling awkward, but Hal is perfectly capable of jabbering on as usual.

 

"That could be fun. We could create different set parameters for different meetings, like maybe a mini-bot competition, or one that requires a roomba be the base. We could have teams, programmers and engineers that have to work together. I bet some team combinations would come up with weird robots." He pauses, and then thunks his head back against the wall. "I suppose I'd have to actually start talking to be people again to get anything like this going. I still haven't even read whatever Roxy sent. She's going to punch me in the dick for avoiding her for so long."

 

"Dude, yeah that sounds hilarious. We should totally do one where programmers and engineers have to switch tasks too. Ooh, and speaking of roombas, you thought any more about that dj one you were talking about making in Squarewave's honour?" Hal grins, because part of the impetus behind this idea was absolutely to get Dirk talking to people again. Also to get him talking to people! And interacting with non-family-members in meatspace rather than online. Also also it sounds fucking fun.

He tips his head back so he can waggle his eyebrows at Dirk. "Want me to kiss it better after she's done punching?"

 

Dirk studiously ignores the eyebrow waggle. "After Roxy? With her fist-kind strife specibus? I don't think there'd be anything left. I kind of what to see what would happen if she fought Equius someday actually, she's taken out monsters much bigger than him before, but he is quite STRONG." Dirk smirks. "Plus her grappling with him is right out, he'd slip from her grasp like a well oiled pig." Hal seems genuinely interested in hanging out with people though, which can only be good for his phobia (and hopefully getting him interested in someone more suitable.) "I guess I'll bring it up with Rox when I talk to her later. Which I am totally doing. I suppose."

 

Wow, rude, that was some prime eyebrow waggling. Hal leaves his head tipped back, so he can keep looking up at Dirk, although he lifts a hand to reposition his ponytail so it stops tickling the back of his neck. "I'm sure she'd go easy on you. You are, like, one of her favourite people and all." He hums thoughtfully. "I dunno about him slipping free, sweat doesn't have the same properties as oil. I think she'd have a good chance of winning." Rolling over onto his stomach, he props himself up on his elbows, arms crossed in front of him on the bed. "She'll be thrilled to hear from you."

 

"I half want to make one of those 'Who Should You Fight?' memes for the sburb and sgrub kids now. It'd be pretty funny, if somewhat insulting. ...Maybe really insulting depending on the person. Actually, let's not do that, or do it and post it anonymously so that everyone ends up blaming John." He looks down at Hal again; he's not acting a lot different, but Hal has been living with his feelings for a while now it seems. This is all incredibly new and slightly alarming for him, but if he absconds he'll need to talk to Roxy. Decisions.

"I'm pretty sure I've fallen quite far in her esteem since the game. And she has so many new people to entertain her. I'm... going to talk to her, I just doubt it'll be the warmhearted event you're imagining. I was hoping she'd replace me with a Dave or two. Or you." Whoops. "Not that you're me or that we're interchangeable; if that were so she'd be no better of with you than with... you know, never mind, apparently I can't NOT conduct the self pity choir when I open my mouth. You ready to keep doing the back rub thing or you need a couple more minutes?"

 

Hal kicks his legs up into the air behind him, swinging his feet idly. "God, I think it would win for longest version of those memes that I've seen, too. And hey, just because we make it doesn't mean we have to post it where everyone can see. Maybe just share it among the family? I'm sure Bro would appreciate the handy guide on all these kids he's suddenly got something to do with." He quirks a smile when he catches Dirk looking at him. "Not that I'm against blaming John for things, you understand."

"Okay well, firstly, you haven't been talking to her while I have, so I'd like to put forward the motion that I know how she feels about you better than you do, and she's mad at you for not replying to her messages but she still cares about you." He baps Dirk's leg lightly with his hand. "And you're not replaceable, Dirk. Not in a... 'oh you're so amazing and perfect' sense, but because, in this world at least, there's no-one else out there like you. 'Member when I suggested you make friends with Dave's crew of game players, and you said you didn't wanna replace Roxy with Rose? Same principal, other way around. They're different people and you can be friends with both, and you, me, the Daves, and ARquius are all different people, so none of us can replace each other even if we wanted to." Hal's pretty sure he could still do a damn good impression of Dirk, if he wanted to, but he can't really think of a situation in which that would be funnier than it would be traumatising. He pushes himself into a more upright position, turning his back on Dirk. "Yeah, intermission's over, time for act three. Gimme your ankle again?"

 

Dirk still feels weirdly anxious and giddy around Bro; he's just So Cool. He's finally started coming around a lot more after the time one of the Dave's flinched out from under his hand when he tried to ruffle their hair. He'd avoided them for a little while after that awkward incident; Dirk hopes he went and kicked DirkBro's ass, but it doesn't make him feel better about being a version of that guy. "I think Bro finds us a bit overwhelming, yeah. He'd probably like a hand guide to which smaller version of himself he should avoid combat with though. Like, Davepeta COULD kick your ass, but why would you fight them? Why? You monster. I'LL fight you if you tryna fight Davepeta, get ready for your butt whoopin."

Dirk feels an irrational stab of jealousy when Hal says he's been talking to Roxy. Of course Hal's been talking to her though; she's been TRYING to talk to him as well, not Hal's fault Dirk has been antisocial. This is why he shouldn't be allowed around people. He shrugs and looks away. "There are some kinds of people the world doesn't need. Not that I'm one of them, necessarily." He totally is. "But just because something is unique doesn't mean it's valuable."

They resettle closer to the wall this time so that Dirk doesn't kill his own back trying to fix Hal's. He puts his ankle out for Hal to reach, meaning his leg is pretty tightly pressed to Hal's body. His fingers find the really sore place from before and he tries to start on it gently. "Let me know when to increase or decrease the pressure; I don't want to burn you out before this is finished or leave bruises accidentally."

 

"I think we might actually have a problem there, in that I'm pretty sure that would end up being what we'd write for all three Daves? Davepeta the most emphatically, sure, but try to fight Davesprite or Dave prime and I'll kick your ass, you know? Even if Dave prime could probably do a way better job on his own, it's the principle of the matter y'know?"

If more of that was spoken aloud, Hal would suggest that Dirk should be around more people, to decrease the jealousy feelings. If he interacts with them too, then surely he won't mind as much. Probably. "I'm not arguing for your intrinsic valuableness, although apparently I would rate it higher than you do. I'm just saying Roxy can't and doesn't want to replace you, she wants you back."

Yes, it would be such a shame if Hal had to do Dirk's back over again. That would just suck so much. He wraps his hand around the outside of Dirk's ankle, pulling his legs up to lean against them. "Mm, yeah, will do." It hurts, because of course it does, although way less with this gentle pressure than before they started the break. Hal waits a little while for the muscle to warm up before speaking again. "Bit harder now?"

 

He is awkwardly pleased when Hal says Roxy wants him back, but that means she knows he's been avoiding her on purpose which is bad. He decided all over again that he needs to talk to her as soon as possible.

The muscles shift under Hal's skin; it's a bit difficult for him to really feel where it's hurting him through the shirt. "Here, try to relax, you're doing good. This is super shitty but you don't wanna get the kinds of cramps the sprites get in their legs from not taking care of it. Maybe after this you should use a heating pad in addition to stretching." He presses and shifts pressure away from the center of where the pain seems to be so that it doesn't become unbearably painful. "Is this helping? I can't quite feel how it's going."

 

Roxy is one smart lady, and really it's not that hard to work out that Dirk's avoiding her if she's able to get in touch with Hal just fine but not get a single message from that rude Dirk guy.

Hal does his best not to wriggle about in pain, but god it feels like needles dipped in chilli sauce are getting stabbed into his muscles, so there's much rubbing of his feet against the bed and each other, and some shoulder squirming. It makes him feel a little like a cat, twisting to get the petting hand in juuust the right spot. "Yeah, trying, ugh. Cramps suck ass." He breaths in slowly, holds it for a moment, then lets it out again in more of a spluttering giggle than a calm release. "So what you're saying is it would help if I take my top off?"

 

"Eh, maybe. This might help more, here." Dirk extends his other leg out on the other side of Hal and coaxes him to scoot back with his hands on Hal's waist so he's basically in his lap. "Put your hand on my other leg and squeeze hard when it hurts, that tends to help. That way you can still squeeze this one," he wiggles his other foot, "if you need to stop. Davepeta nearly clawed me to death once, but they made it through." Dirk briefly considers keeping a bit of distance, since Hal was all... liking him and things, but that wouldn't be helpful or fair to him really. "You can lean against me a bit, as long as I can still reach where it hurts. Or lean all the way back to take a break again."

 

Hal is briefly very confused (and pleased, too) about Dirk's hands being on his waist, but he works out what Dirk is wanting pretty fast and wriggles backwards, reaching forward to take hold of each of Dirk's ankles. He's a little disappointed he didn't get to take his top off, but this is certainly nice and cosy and maybe he should work out more before doing that anyway. He isn't intending to match Dirk in musculature, but a little more definition than practically nothing can't hurt. "Well, I make no promises, but I'll do my best not to claw you to death." He hesitates. "I ended up leaning against you quite a lot when you did my shoulders, huh? I'll try'n not make a habit of it, though you make a pretty good mattress."

 

Dirk shrugs, feeling along Hal's back to find the spot again. This angle is going to require a lot more effort on his part, but hopefully it'll help actually get the job accomplished in something like a reasonable manner.

"It wasn't horrible, though I doubt you'll be falling asleep what with how sore this is going to be even after it's taken care of. You're going to want to relax with a heating pad." His thumbs find the knot and he digs in, trying not to make it too sharp or go too fast. Either lots of movement OR lots of pressure, both hurts extra and doesn't do a lot of good. He's focusing really hard on the task at hand for a bit, almost slipping into the same 'zone' that he can get into while putting something together, though this feels a bit like taking Hal apart for maintenance so it's not so different. "It's not a good idea for you to sleep with me anyway, hard on your back." His brain repeats what he just said back to him and he winces. "On. Not a good idea to sleep on me. Cuz of muscle pain. Weird angles." There, all better.

 

Hal can feel himself tensing against the expectation of pain as Dirk searches for the sore muscle, and he breaths deeply in and out, encouraging his body to relax.

"I imagine we've still- aah- still got some of those left." He bites his lip, then releases and licks over it because it's apparently decided to be sore too, fuckin' rude, who gave it the right? His hand tightens on Dirk's non-stop-sign ankle instead, and he leans a little to that side, doing his best to keep still otherwise. His feet still squirm, because it fucking hurts, dude, ow. "Hah so, sleepin' beside you'd be alright? 'S good to know for uh, potential future reference." He squeezes Dirk's ankle tighter, shifting his hand higher up off the bone. "I'll- fuck, ow, give you a weird angle."

 

"Uh huh. Might want to see a doctor about that."

He starts to really focus on just the one spot, bracing his free hand on Hal's back in part to hold him still and partially to try and help him manage the pain. "You're doing really good, this can't take that much longer, I'm sure it'll feel a lot better soon." He changes hands to give his working fingers a break, smoothing the tired one over Hal's back and shoulders. The encouragement and praise thing seemed to work well last time (before he fucked it up completely) so he tries that again even though it's more awkward now. Dirk distractedly shushes his pain noises while in the zone himself, and gives him frequent quick breaks with the excuse that he's stretching his fingers out. "Shhh. You're okay Hal."

 

Hal's laugh is interrupted by a hiss of pain, and he squeezes his eyes closed. He whines quietly when Dirk's other hand starts smoothing over him, pressing his own forehead against his knees. A shiver rocks through him from his shoulders down to the centre of his back and up to tingle on top of his head, and he groans miserably, eyes watering. It's starting to feel a little like the pain's never going to stop, although the verbal encouragement finally gives his toes a reason to curl that isn't because of the pain. Even with the encouragement, and the breaks, and the leg to squeeze like he's trying to phase his hand through it, eventually it's just too much again and he lets go of Dirk's ankles with a sound of frustration and pain, turning and pressing his forehead to Dirk's shoulder. "'M sorry. Need to stop again."

 

"Okay dude. That's fine." Dirk hesitates, but Hal's eyes are wet and his heart goes *crunch* a little bit. "You're not used to all of this but I bet your pain tolerance meter is rising like a motherfucker, just flying off into the sun like a piece of garbage." One hand ends up smoothing Hal's hair away from his face and ears on repeat while the other wraps around his waist to support him. "We could stop, do some alternating heat and cold to get the pain down and undo some of the damage. Prevent it from bruising. It's going to stop hurting, you'll be okay." He absentmindedly wipes his thumb across Hal's cheek, because that's what you do when someone is in pain and maybe crying a little bit and you don't like that there are tears there.

 

Hal makes a noise that definitely isn't a whimper, okay, because fuck you is why. He captchalogs his shades and tucks his face into the crook of Dirk's neck, arms wrapping around under Dirk's to cling to the back of his shirt. He nods, head tilting back slightly into the hand on his hair. His voice is quiet, and a little wet, much like his eyes. "Sorry for being such a wimp about this. We can keep going, just, I only need a minute I promise." He can't have it worse than the sprites after all, who couldn't even use the bits of them that needed massaging at first, and they all managed to get through it just fine he's sure, it's just him who can't handle a little pain.

 

Dirk continues to pet him gently, slightly alarmed that he even sounds like he's crying. "I don't know why you're promising me anything, you're not doing this for me and I don't have anything more important going on." Plus he's giving himself this last chance to indulge in avoiding Roxy since after this he's going to really have to do it. "I'm not going to hurt you though, not even so that you can prove that you're not a 'wimp' or whatever. What are you even comparing yourself to to reach that assessment? Anyway, I'm kind of worried that if we keep going like this it's going to damage you." Dirk snuggles him a little closer, he's crying. "We can continue for now, but try to be honest with me about your limits."