So Many Striders - Now With Illustrations!

There's a brief moment where Hal thinks Dirk is going to turn him down, even though it was Dirk who said he wanted to be dated by Hal to help him work his feelings out for Hal, but he says yeah instead of no and Hal's face immediately stretches into the widest of grins. He squeezes Dirk's hand again, then pulls it up to kiss, squeezes it with the back of Dirk's hand against his lips, and smiles against it in that pinched-corners way that means it's only force of will keeping it a closed-lipped smile instead of a bright grin.

With yet another squeeze to Dirk's hand, he lowers it again, and is still smiling, but has it more under control. "That's, yeah, awesome. I'll keep you updated with timing, and things. Yeah."

 

Hal's enthusiasm is both infectious and awkward, Dirk isn't used to this kind of thing. It's an enormous relief that everything seems back on track for people being happy with him again though. Now seems like a good time to make his escape, before he can disrupt things again.

"I think I've put off showering for long enough, I'm still all gross from yesterday." That seems a bit abrupt when it leaves his mouth, and he likes the way Hal looks when he's smiling like this. "Um. YOur cute," What?! Ugh, god, why does he try? Time to abscond.

 

Dirk announces he needs a shower, and that's fair enough although Hal would disagree with him being gross. He doesn't get the chance though really, because Dirk almost shouts at him that he's cute and starts to abscond. He doesn't try to keep Dirk, letting go of his hand, but when he thinks Dirk's got to the bathroom he gets up (stretching his legs out with a grunt when he does) and heads back to his own room, flopping on the bed and grabbing at his phone to check to see if Davepeta has replied to his rambling message about how Dirk is doing better.

 

Eight days later, Hal is kneeling on the floor in the apartment's living room, carefully arranging paper plates and plastic containers on top of a large, square, check-patterned rug in front of the TV. On the plates and in the containers are various traditional American picnic foods, namely potato salad, tuna and pasta salad, cold fried chicken, watermelon slices, apple pie, chocolate chip cookies, and pulled pork and cheddar baguette sandwiches. There's a bottle of lemonade and two cups, and several packets of chips of various flavours. All the food and drink is at the front of the rug, and there's space behind it for Dirk and Hal to stretch out either longways or sideways. The TV, which is hooked up via cable to Hal's laptop hidden behind it, is showing a repeating video of a green and sunny park. There's birds singing, and far off in the shot to one side there are two people playing frisbee, and several children running around a few adults sitting on their own spread rug.

Everything is ready, so Hal has not much to do but fiddle and wait for Dirk to get back from the sprites' apartment. They'd agreed on today for the date so Hal could have the opportunity to set things up with Dirk away spending time with the sprites, not that he'd told Dirk what it was he was coming back to. He really hopes he'll like it, and is really grateful for Dave Senior's money to spend buying all this shit.

 

Dirk was admittedly a bit nervous about the "date" Hal was apparently planning for this afternoon. In some ways it helped that things went almost strangely well when he went to hang out with the sprites. Davepeta was apparently feeling especially well disposed toward him this morning, which made it all too easy for Dirk to linger longer than he needed simply out of nerves. By the time he finally left it felt like he'd stayed for ages and he was surprised to walk through the door only 15 minutes after the estimate he'd given Hal earlier.

The living room is taken over by a picnic setup complete with virtual park on the tv. Dirk toes his shoes off and approaches the blanket. "This is really impressive, where'd you get all this stuff?"

 

Hal rubs his hands nervously on his clothed thighs when the door opens, and he scoots around to sit cross-legged on the blanket, looking up at Dirk when he enters. He remembers belatedly to smile instead of just watching Dirk carefully for his reaction, shoulders relaxing ever so slightly when the set up is called impressive, instead of childish or stupid or something. Shifting the weight of his legs down into his heels for balance, he leans back, stretching behind the small coffee table to turn on a hidden fan, giving them a light breeze to match the one in the virtual park. As he leans back, soft long-sleeved t-shirt riding up a little as he does, he replies flippantly; "Bro's always eager for us to spend his money to make ourselves happy, I thought I'd take him up on the standing offer."

It's always easier for Hal to spend the adultiest Dave's money when he can conceptualise it as being really for someone else.

 

Dirk abandons his bag by his shoes and goes to join Hal on the blanket. He's confused for a second when Hal stretches out on his back to reach behind the table, eyes catching on exposed skin as his shirt rides up. "The fan is clever." He takes in the array of food. "I was more wondering about where the stuff came from; I didn't know we could order this kind of stuff, or did you make fried chicken? Either way I'm starving. What's the plan from here?"

 

Hal sits back up again, taking two empty plates from the side and offering one to Dirk. "Oh, right. There's a supermarket not too far from here, so I emailed their main manager asking if they deliver to people who're incapable of going outside, and she said they don't but gave me the name and address of a place that does, which is a little further out and technically we're not in the area they're willing to deliver to by like, a street, but I convinced them to over the phone just this once, 'cause I told them it was for my first date ever and I wanted to make a really nice surprise for the person I'm dating, which would obviously not be a surprise at all if you went and bought all the stuff for it, y'know?" That was probably more specific and detailed information than Dirk wanted, oops. Knowing when to reign it in is not a particular skill of Hal's. "The plan is to eat this feast spread out in front of us and talk, maybe engage in some hand holding if we're feeling really daring."

 

Hal gets going on the story of his triumph and Dirk spends the time loading his plate with food. At the end he seems to lose confidence like he thinks he's talking too much. Dirk minds his chatter much less now that it's audible and not something he has to constantly bring up on his screen though, and he wants Hal to feel comfortable. Or maybe Hal is just as nervous about the date as Dirk was. "It sounds like they're nice people, maybe we can offer to pay a fee to have stuff delivered more regularly. If that doesn't work, who knows, maybe they're a SBHJ fan and can be convinced." Dirk sets his plate down and scoots close to Hal. He says, "This is good though, I like it," and dares to take Hal's hand before turning the whole world topsy-turvy and kissing him on the cheek. Dirk can be sweet too, sometimes, when he thinks about it really hard.

 

Hal makes a "Mmh" of agreement at the suggestion of a fee, and he'd write down the idea if they weren't doing the dating thing right now. He's pretty sure that would be rude and he doesn't want to be rude on their first date. That would have a negative impact on the likelihood of future dates. The idea of the shop's managers being fans of SBaHJ makes Hal huff with amusement, although mostly at the idea that they would believe he was related to the great Dave Strider. (Technically, kinda, he isn't. Technically, kinda, he isn't related to anyone, being a clone of Dirk.) Dirk moves closer to Hal, who leans closer to him in turn, squeezing the hand that takes his with the beginnings of a smile on his face, which quickly transforms into a wide-spread grin when Dirk kisses him on the cheek. With a mumbled "Oh my god," he turns his head to drop it onto Dirk's shoulder, his own shoulders shaking with a flustered giggle.

 

Dirk starts to smile when Hal smiles, but then Hal laughs (at him?) and he begins to feel self conscious. "Oh. Was that too..." He clears his throat. Watermelon is easy to eat one handed so he picks up a piece and takes a bite to have something to do with his mouth that isn't saying stupid shit. He leaves his hand in Hal's care though.

 

"No, no, it wasn't too anything." Hal squeezes Dirk's hand, adding his other hand so he can trap it in between them. He nuzzles his cheek against Dirk's shoulder, even though it makes his shades bob up and down on his nose, and does his best to stifle the giggles. "It was adorable, I was just surprised. Pleasantly! Definitely pleasantly. I wasn't expecting it, obviously as I said I was surprised, but it wasn't even the kiss so much that was a surprise as how warm and tingly it made me feel on the inside."

 

"Oh. Um, good." Dirk puts the watermelon slice back down and hesitantly smooths his hand down Hal's already smooth hair. Talking about how things make him feel inside feels unspeakably intimate, Dirk is much more comfortable with physical gestures of affection, so that's how he responds. He kisses the top of Hal's head before running his fingers from the back of Hal's head to under his chin, gently lifting his face away from Dirk's shoulder so that he can kiss Hal's nose. "I'm hungry, let's start the picnic before I eat you instead." He does a mock evil grin. "I bet you'd even taste delicious, there hasn't been enough time for you to get all gamy and tough."

 

Hal has been a person of words from the very moment he started existing as a distinct individual from Dirk. However, those words were far more often used to hide and deny the existence of his feelings than to announce and describe them, so it's new territory for him too, but the 'endearingly genuine' route seems to be working well for him so far. The physical gestures of affection are very much appreciated, both the adorable kisses and the fingers running over his hair, and down his jaw. He grins when Dirk kisses his nose, then laughs outright at the oh-so-evil suggestion, sitting straighter up so he can take some food for himself; namely, two cookies, because if you can't have dessert first when on a date then when can you.

Setting the plate down in front of him, he tilts his head coquettishly so he can bat his eyelids at Dirk over his glasses, which feels stupid but is apparently attractive or something, one hand on his cheek. He refrains from doing his terrible Southern Belle accent, but only just. "Why Mr Strider, I can't believe you would say such things, and me without a chaperone."

 

"I can think of a good half dozen people right off the top of my head who would jump at the chance to be your chaperon, each more hilariously embarrassing than the last. At least some of them would eat popcorn and give helpful advice if I tried anything untoward with you though." Dirk resumes eating, he had been too nervous earlier to eat and the low-key, relaxed nature of what Hal put together is putting him at ease. He's glad Hal feels relaxed enough to tease and play at batting his eyes. "Poor wilting flower, you'll just have to fend me off yourself."

 

"A whole six? Huh, that's more than comes to mind for me. It's nice to know that there are that many people who care about maintaining my chaste purity, though. Or not, depending." Hal picks up a cookie, turning it over a couple of times in his hands before taking a bite, enjoying the soft yet crumbly texture, and the softness of the chocolate chips. He chews it carefully before swallowing. "That's assuming I want to fend you off. I'm fairly sure the point of a chaperone was more to stop willing misconduct than more forceful attempts."

 

"Hm? I was always under the impression that ladies weren't considered to have sexualities of their own, Boston Marriages and all that. But yes, the point of the thing was to avoid social scandal. We can't have you coming down pregnant Hal, what would the neighbors think?" The chicken is really good, Dirk works on clearing his plate of finger food so that he can try some of the messier salads Hal has sitting out. It's nice to sit near him without really touching much and feel like that's okay. With Jake he always felt like if he wasn't hanging on he'd vanish in a blink. Hal won't (can't) go anywhere. ... Argh, brain, shush, don't make this weird.

"In any case, Bro, Davepeta, Dave, Roxy, Jane, and Karkat would all probably be delighted to harangue us on our first date under the guise of protecting your virtue. I don't know about any of the other trolls... though Sollux would probably have an aneurysm if he saw us holding hands."

 

"Oh, huh, good point. I mean, I guess that still counts as no forcefulness being applied, because if women don't have an ability to desire sex then surely they don't have an ability to be uninterested either? Or something." He snorts at the idea of his becoming pregnant, finishing off the cookie in a few quick bites. As he does, he sneaks his hand out to rest on Dirk's knee. Not in a groping way, just a nice, casual, familiar resting of his hand on his date's knee. Nice and relaxed.

"I hadn't thought Jane or Karkat would particularly care, but I suppose Jane certainly does enjoy teasing you. If it's aneurysms you're looking to cause to put a halt to things though, I suspect we couldn't do better than to have Equius sit in and silently loom in the corner, watching."

 

"Jane likes teasing both of us, and she likes you as a person probably better than she ever liked me. And Karkat gets off on being meddlesome, he's the only one I'd expect to actually do the job to spec." Hal touches him and Dirk almost expects to feel annoyed; it was always bothersome when Hal did the clingy thing before, but now he just feels relieved. It takes a moment of staring at Hal's hand on his leg to figure out why.

"It's nice that you do things." Wow, so informative.

 

Hal skirts around the assertion that Jane likes him better than she does Dirk, because this is meant to be happy date funtimes not sad but supportive times, and they can do that later if needed but for the moment, Hal is going to laugh at the description of Karkat. "Yeah, that sounds pretty accurate. It'd be like... the red version of auspisticism? Moirallegience is pale, so I guess that would be, like, dark? I mean it's obviously not a thing because there's obviously only four quadrants or they'd be called something different and Karkat would have mentioned it approximately fifty times by now, but mostly I just wanted to make up something that would work for the scenario you described and now I'm going to shut myself up by eating something." He picks up a piece of watermelon, shoving it into his mouth, so when Dirk tells him it's nice that he does things all he can manage is a "Mnnh?"