So Many Striders - Now With Illustrations!

Hal didn't ask him a question and Dirk is actually pretty interested in the classpect question. He can tell Hal is being evasive though, he's just not sure why. "I think anyone could have a classpect, even if it doesn't come with game given powers. Maybe that'd make it more like a horoscope personality type fusion though. I don't know if you'd be a Prince, but you're the only one who could say for sure." Dirk could happily spend the next while figuring this out, but this is a date, and Hal might not want to, and he smells nice.

Dirk shifts the hand that Hal is holding so that their fingers are interlaced and turns his head so that his mouth is close to Hal's ear. "Knave of Hearts though... That would make you a Thief. Are you going to steal my heart?" His voice is low and quiet, a wry grin on his face at the cheesiness of his own line.

 

Dirk's questions have a clear theme of seeking to get to know Hal better, which is kind of the point of the lightning round, but what it's also doing is bringing to Hal's attention the fact that he doesn't know all that much about himself as a person. He's never really spent any time thinking about what it means to be Hal as opposed to being anyone else, and maybe other people, people who were made in the normal way, don't have to do that to know, but when it comes down to it, Hal has no idea what makes him Hal. And that's scary.

He can feel Dirk's breath on his neck as soon as he turns his head, and his own breath catches momentarily because of it. Logically, he knows the line Dirk uses is Ridiculous. Cheesy. Beyond cheesy. And it has Hal's cheeks darkening and his mouth pulling into a grin. It seems he likes cheese. Clearing his throat, he pretends he hasn't noticed the way his face is burning. "I think that's the general sort of plan, yeah. Do you mind much?"

 

Dirk smiles wider and hides from his embarrassment in Hal's neck, immensely grateful that Hal seems to inexplicably like awkward nerd-type flirting. "Yes, terribly. I'm meant to destroy my heart, not lose it to someone who'd keep it safe. D'you know what an awful Prince that'd make me?" He nuzzles Hal's neck and kisses him lightly under his ear, jostling his glasses slightly and almost poking himself in the eye. He draws back just enough to take his glasses and stick them in his sylladex so that they don't get broken (again). "I don't seem to be able to stop you though."

 

Hal isn't at all sure why Dirk's decided to start being adorable, but he's not about to start complaining. He squeezes Dirk's fingers between his, dropping the shoulder closest to Dirk a little lower and tilting his head away. Which is totally coincidental and not at all to do with the fact that Dirk's nuzzling his neck. Cheeks still pink, he does his best to contribute to Dirk's narrative. "I could always keep it safe for you until you're ready to destroy it, I might even give it back then if you ask real nice. Or, I could wait until after you've destroyed your heart, then steal the pieces and put them back together."

 

Hal tilts his head, so Dirk goes back to softly kissing under Hal's ear and down his neck while he talks more about Dirk's heart. Discussing his heart, his soul rather since that's what the aspect refers to, feels extremely intimate, almost uncomfortably so. When Hal stops talking Dirk takes his free hand and very gently turns Hal's head toward him by running his fingertips along his jaw. He can only see his own eyes reflected in Hal's glasses, so he looks down at Hal's lips instead and leans in. "Waiting sounds dull."

Waiting for Hal to kiss him is anything but dull. Even the worry that Hal will push him away, that he's misread the situation entirely just adds to the anticipation buzzing in his chest.

 

Dirk's lips on Hal's neck is basically the best feeling ever and Hal is prepared to fight to defend that opinion, or rather he would be if he ever felt like voicing it out loud. They're soft and warm, and there's a little wet sound they make whenever Dirk pulls away to kiss again, and basically it's just really nice. Still, he turns his head when he works out that it's what Dirk wants, and oh hi that's a face near his, and a mouth that's near his because he can feel Dirk's breath on his lips and even though it smells quite a lot like fried chicken. He really wants to kiss Dirk. Instead, he's going to blurt out the first thing that comes into his head.

"So, does this mean you do like-like me or that we need to go over the kissing is gonna make me have feelings thing again or should I just shut up and go with it?" He winces as soon as it's out.

 

Hal nervously blurts something out and winces, causing both Dirk's hand and face to jerk away. Blood rushes to Dirk's cheeks, his embarrassment so intense it makes his eyes water and blink. Idiot. Dirk bites his lip for a second, trying to get his emotions under control, feel less like all the air was knocked from his lungs.

"No. N-no, we don't have to go over it again. I'm sorry." Dirk can't quite meet Hal's eyes and his posture wilts slightly. He doesn't pull away or disentangle his fingers from Hal's but he stops holding on in case Hal wants to. "It's good that you corrected me, you shouldn't 'just shut up and go with it,' I don't ever want... you're good, thank you."

Hal asked if this meant that Dirk likes him in the sort of precursor to love way. It feels sudden, and soon, but Dirk did this to himself by not thinking about their previous very important conversation. He closes his eyes and breaths for a moment, praying that Hal won't interrupt the silence. He spends most of that time frantically berating himself in his head. "I think I did, do, have liked you for a bit. I think. H-how sure do you need me to be? I've been thinking about it, but I'm still so-" Scared. "I don't want to mess, I mean, hhh." Dirk turns his head away from the mess he's making of this and realizes that there's a whole rest of the apartment he could be in. His room sounds so inviting he's almost dizzy with the need to escape to it. Instead Dirk focuses on the bits of him that are still touching Hal, anchoring himself to the spot both mentally and physically.

 

Dirk jerks away from him, and Hal's eyes widen in alarm (good thing he's still wearing his shades) but he's blushing, so he's embarrassed not angry. Hal sucks in a slow breath, then releases it, and Dirk's fingers go limp in his hold but he's not letting go. That's good. Hal turns his body more towards Dirk's, shifting around and attempting to take Dirk's other hand as well. Dirk apologises, and tells him he did the right thing, and the little bit left of him that was still tense with worry relaxes again. The worry starts building again, as Dirk just sits there with his eyes closed, but he made Dirk unhappy by speaking so now he's going to try shutting up and seeing what that gets him.

What it gets him is Dirk rambling about maybe having already had feelings for him, which is unexpected but very, very welcome, as can perhaps be determined from the slow smile spreading across his face. "I don't need you to be sure. I just want there to be something there beyond just the physical 'kissing is nice' thing. Thinking you've liked me for a little while and wanting to kiss me because of that definitely fits that category."

Dirk's turned away, so Hal leans in, slow enough that he can pull back if he wants, to place a light kiss on Dirk's cheek.

 

The words hit Dirk's brain and he sits there frozen for a moment, long enough for Hal to kiss him and right himself. Dirk's cheeks go impossibly hotter and his eyes water dangerously again. He is suddenly furiously frustrated and his hand twitches in Hal's like he wants to snatch it away and storm off, but a temper tantrum is not the answer.

"You don't need me to be sure? I..." He's breathless for a second, his frustration quickly draining away to reveal the hurt it was hiding. "I already told you I have feelings for you, I told you I love you, I just didn't feel safe asking myself if they were romantic feelings or not. I'm not... I'm not using you Hal just for, just for physical gratification." Just voicing the idea makes him feel disgusted, disgusting for being the kind of person someone could assume that about. He did something to deserve this, miscommunicated somehow or acted in some way. Gross.

Panic starts to settle in, he should have just taken the kiss on the cheek and been grateful, he's ruining this date with an old argument they already had. "I didn't mean for this to-." Dirk tries to stall, to let his brain cool down before he spirals into stupid nonsense. The cup he reaches for almost tips over and his hand is shaking just enough that a few drops spill onto his sock. Not the blanket though, fortunately. "Thank you. For the date. I like it, and you. You can kick me off your picnic blanket if you want. I'm just making a mess." Literally and figuratively.

 

Dirk's angry frustration has Hal's eyes widening behind his shades, and he tenses up. He doesn't understand what he did wrong, what problem Dirk has with his words. He wants there to be romantic feelings involved from both sides when they make out, because he has romantic feelings for Dirk and lingering anxiety over being used even if he's pretty sure Dirk isn't going to do that any more, now that he has a human body. It isn't a rational worry, and it sure as hell isn't meant to be an accusation. That being said, he's a hormonal teenager and making out is really, really fun. In other words: maybe Dirk does have a point, because Hal isn't sure he's even making sense to himself.

"I need..." Dirk mentions leaving, and Hal frowns. That isn't what he wants. "I just need reassurance sometimes, that's all. I didn't mean that I, I don't know, thought you were only agreeing to the date because you wanted to kiss, or whatever you've decided I meant. I'm not trying to accuse you, I swear. And I'd like it if you stayed, if. If you want to." There's a hesitancy in his voice towards the end, and his grip on Dirk's hand loosens slightly. If Dirk really wants to leave, should he be trying to convince him to stay? This definitely isn't a positive way for the date to end, though. Which sucks and might dissuade Dirk from agreeing to another one.

"I'm sorry. I should have just. I don't know. Not fucked up somehow."

 

"If you want there to be something there beyond just the physical it's there. It's been there. I wouldn't have ever kissed you in the first place if there wasn't. You almost died and I-." His voice cracks embarrassingly and he clears his throat to try and clear it away. "I wouldn't kiss someone I didn't like. I also wouldn't do projects with them, or watch movies, or talk with them unless I liked them. A lot. I HAVE feelings, and some of them are for you, and I thought the problem was that I didn't know how to categorize them before but I'm starting to think it's more basic than that."

Dirk takes Hal's hand more firmly and uses the other to try and wipe his eyes without looking like he's doing that. "I... like you a lot. As a person. I'm terrified of... not having you anymore. I don't think I've communicated this well enough if you have to wonder weather I'm doing something that I find... repulsive. I just don't know what to do." Talking is difficult but it's also a relief to at least get a chance to work whatever this is out. Dirk turns a bit toward Hal again and stares at their intertwined hands.

"Reassurance is one thing, I can do that as much as you need, anytime. But, see, you're acting like, I don't know. Like you didn't hear me before when I told you that I feel things. For you. Just because I hadn't categorized them, or examined them closely, doesn't mean they didn't exist. And I told you that. And yet you're telling me you don't want to kiss without something going on feelings wise when that hasn't ever been an option for me. Ever. It's like you asked me to buy you spider-free bread, as though spider bread was a possibility." Dirk very much does not want to leave the date, not like this, not even to change his sock, so he commits to whatever it's going to take to figure out what the hell went wrong.

"You told me you needed to know if I liked you romantically. I think I do; I'm more sure of that than I was but not as sure as I could be. And now you tell me you didn't need that, you just needed something I thought I'd already assured you of before? I decided that it's worth it to try and give you what you want but I don't know what that is from one minute to the next."

 

"Hey," Hal starts to interrupt when Dirk's voice cracks, his own softened in an attempt to be comforting, because yeah almost dying was scary and all but it seems to have affected Dirk worse than Hal, even now after the concussion, which he wasn't expecting. Dirk carries on talking, though, so he shuts up again and listens until he seems done. When he is, Hal takes in a long, slow breath, then lets it out in a rush.

"Okay. So. There's a uh, I dunno, miscommunication or something happening here, or I'm not defining terms right or... or something. So. I believe you when you say you have feelings for me, that's a thing that, that I'm not doubting, here, that you like me. ... Little bit of doubt maybe, tiny bit, but that's all, and more of a 'but who would like me' thing I promise. But I... I mean, I'm somewhat confident that Karkat likes me, as a person, and I wouldn't let him mack on my face if he wanted to. What I want for smooches to occur is something going on romantic-feelings-wise, not just feelings-wise. And the fact that you're willing to date me, and cuddle up to me, and shit like that? That's, that's sorta what I was after, I guess. I dunno, I don't exactly have it clear in my head either, and it might change because damn the human mind is anything but decisive, but for now, what we... were doing? That was good. I just needed to hear, I don't know, fuck, that you thought there was a chance of us being a thing? This diatribe was probably less helpful than I meant it to be. But, too long; didn't listen: I get that you have feelings. And I like that they're positive when it comes to me."

 

Hal explains what's going on in his head, which is quite contrary to what he said a minute ago but that's miscommunication for you. He mentions the idea of kissing Karkat and Dirk's eyes finally snap to Hal's face, mouth turning down at the corners for a second. Interesting.

"It sounds like you want exactly what I'm capable of giving right now. That's... that's good. Cuz' I like this too, and I wouldn't do it, or like it as much as I do, if I didn't think there was a chance of it being 'a thing' as you say." Dirk is a bit too gun shy to do anything more than let his eyes wander down to Hal's lips. He really really regrets not being smarter about the kissing thing. "I'm not good at communicating my feelings verbally. I like gestures; I just wanted you to know that I like this, whatever it is. And..." The grumpy little frown comes back. "And I don't want you to kiss Karkat."

 

"I'm... going to need words, I think. At least a bit. Gestures are still a thing I'm getting used to having back, a little." He lifts his hand, fingers still laced with Dirk's, and leans in to kiss the back of Dirk's hand, lips lingering there for a moment before he straightens up again. He looks right at Dirk, cheeks just a little pink. "I like you romantically. And I like that you want to try for a romantic thing between us. And I like that you like the idea of a romantic thing between us." He pauses, then grins.

"And cute as his tiny horns and fluffy hair may be, I'm not going to kiss Karkat."

 

"You could kiss me instead, if you wanted, in case I haven't made that clear." Dirk leans back toward Hal again, back to the way they were sitting while doing questions. He looks down at his lap, and their hands. He talks very quietly. "I'm not using you Hal. I won't, I'm sorry I did. I can do reassurance, I'm doing it now, trying it out. And talking, we can do that too. Whatever you need."

 

"I'd like to kiss you. Based on past experience, you have a face that I enjoy kissing." And neck. And ear. But that wouldn't be appropriate in a park, probably. Dirk leans back closer to him, and Hal squeezes the hand he kissed. "Thank you. Talking's good, so's reassurance, I'm. Yeah. Kissing. Let's do that." Hal banishes his shades to his sylladex to prevent excessive complications, is briefly grateful that neither of them need braces, and then concentrates on getting his lips against Dirk's in a soft and enjoyable manner.

 

Dirk turns his face into Hal's and when their lips meet it's a huge relief somehow. Confirmation that he didn't completely fuck everything up again just yet. A lot of his confidence got zapped right to hell so he does exactly as much as Hal initiates, focusing intently on the feeling of soft, warm lips over his.

 

Hal kisses Dirk slow and light, grateful that Dirk's following his lead rather than pushing for more. It's as nice as he remembered it being, and he's tempted to tilt his head press their lips harder together, but although it would be fun to kiss like that, based on memory, it's not really what either of them need right now. So, Hal keeps the pressure of his lips light against Dirk's, moving them gently, the soft puffs of air from his nose cool against their joined lips. Eventually, he pulls away a little, bare eyes flicking over Dirk's face.

 

Dirk stays where Hal left him when the kiss ends. The more he feels like this is something he wants, that Hal is actually someone he likes this way, the more unsettled he feels. Hal looking at him without any kind of barrier is making this too real so he leans forward and rests his forehead on the junction between Hal's neck and shoulder. He's happy to hear his voice come out light and steady. "Careful, kids are gonna see and parents will complain, the neighborhood association will be called and I'll never hear the end of it from Linda."

 

Hal huffs with laughter and wraps his free arm around Dirk, giving him a brief squeeze of a hug before running his hand slow and firm up and down Dirk's back. "Well damn, if I knew it was gonna piss off Linda I'd have done it for longer, her cakes are always the worst ones on the stall at the school fundraiser fair, so dry and tasteless. It'll do the kids some good to see relationships can be between Adam and Adam 2.0 instead of just Adam and Eve, too."