sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

Pokemon Sun&Moon's Gladion needs spf 50 sunscreen. He doesn't tan, he doesn't even freckles, he just burns. And while he thinks the Team Skull Goons just take it as another reason to lol at him, it actually humanizes him to them a bit.
(And no matter how edgy he acts, he is the archetypal mysterious waif)

Lillie, on the other hand, tans once she stops using spf 50.

Spoiler: wrt that but hella spoilers for lategame

Gladion got the complexion from his mother.

Lillie was made to use spf 50 to keep her pale looks, but she got some better genetics from her father.
And while she was forced into a waifish look and attitude by her mother, once she does her own journey, she blossoms into quite a bara lady.
She technically becomes a Pokemon trainer, but focuses more on contests and the like -- she still does not like seeing her Pokemon get hurt or hurt others, but the gym challenge (she challenges Kanto before returning to Alola) allows her to visit interesting places and understanding of attacks in both a direct combat and contest way gives her an edge in both. Professor Kukui is proud of her.

 

Mt. Ebott and Mt. Itoi are not that far away from each other, geographically
during the events of Mother 1, a Starman fell into the Underground (maybe it was damaged in battle, maybe there were shenanigans and it fell just from wandering around)
it realized it couldn't destroy the barrier and return to its comrades, so it just stuck around and was eventually absorbed into monster society
it repairs electronics for people and lives a quiet life, doesn't ever run into any of the humans that fall.

it feels a little weird about Papyrus adopting the Starman symbol to wear on his battlebody, but still a little flattered. they're mild acquaintances

 

During his dimensional travels, Ford Pines met Rick Sanchez at some point. They actually worked together a fair bit for quite a while, but Ford grew disgusted enough with some of Rick's less, er, ethical experiments that he stopped working with him--and likely moved on to another dimension shortly thereafter.

 

Trolls' symbols are taken from an incredibly ancient form of the troll language, and relate directly to their surnames (so the Aries symbol is Megido, the Taurus symbol is Nitram, etc.). The exceptions are the Vantases--Vantas is something of a placeholder name, and Karkat's friends believed that it wasn't his true surname, but a way to add another layer of anonymity.

 

Chara's presence in Frisk's head resulted in Frisk knowing the most common monster language, but Chara still has to translate Froggit and doesn't know much of Canid.

This results in Frisk trying to help in early negotiations by attempting to translate.

 

SCP-134 is the child of 2D and Noodle.

 

I can dig this, but god help the SCP when Noodle finds out, because the woman is an engineered bio weapon that literally walked through hell, and assassinates demons for fun, I don't think the foundation would stand a chance stopping her from taking her kid back.

 

I don't even ship it (except in a whole-band foursome), but the resemblance is so strong...

 

I've shipped it since feel good inc video oops.

 

The "Dial-A-Llama" SCP plays this music.

 

I was expecting the Llama Song.

 

There's a special a horizontal gun rack in the DJD's ship made just for Vos when he wants to sleep in sniper rifle mode. He likes being elevated.

 

That's actually canon in WT, where all you need to do to get a disgusted look out of Jake Harley, Ford Pines, Valiska Pines or Getheny is to mention "Sanchez". Also, they used to bitch at each other in SPR on a regular basis but the Rick player hasn't been around much lately.

 

Depending on the version, Sherlock Holmes is a low-level psychic. He has minor precognitive and the ability to divine histories, but it's random facts with no connection. As a result, he's developed his cold-reading and clue-hunting tactics, where he matches up the visual and responsive cues of a person to the random flashes of 'CONSTABLE STATELY. FISHERY. FIRST BORN.' popping into his head.

This is partly why his clue-hunting actually works for him, despite the reality of such a method actually being very prone to failing based on the unquantifiably large spread of human experience and partly why he just doesn't understand why other people don't understand his methods. It's not that they're stupid, it's that he's running with a spectrum of information that no one else is privy too without realizing the average person doesn't look at a watch and think "SIBLING. RUM. DECEASED." on top of their analysis. He's still doing a massive amount of work to make things make sense, and he's still incredibly clever, it's just also the cold reading is bothering the more I think about it so fine, it's so fantastic it's actually a fantasy power, choke on that logic forebrain.

Also, I feel like Sir Arthur Conan "Fairies are real, right?" Doyle would be at least amused by this sort of take on Holmes.

 

Monsters were originally magical constructs created by humans. Specifically, a human who somehow got magic and really wanted kids used magic to give themself kids.
The kids were furry and made of magic, and also seemed to cause the humans of the village to start to develop more magic, resulting in more people who wanted kids trying to make them via magic.

The monsters have all the blueprints. While some monster species have a soul energy requirement to create them that's too high for monsters to safely do (like boss monsters), others, like skeletons or wyverns, are often created rather than born.

This has saved several monster species that would otherwise be totally extinct, like fire elementals and skeletons. There's also sometimes been people going "what if you do this instead" and ending up with a kid of a brand-new species.


EDIT: Yes, this results in humans creating boss monster babies at some point post-game.

Extra headcanon on boss monster babies: they're absurdly tiny. Boss monsters were actually meant to have litters, resulting in proportionally very small babies. And a bunch of them.
Asriel's a chimera, genetically. He absorbed all his siblings in the womb and, if he gets a chance to grow up, will end up with at least a two-colour mane. Possibly more. (Depends on how many genes for mane colour there are, how they interact, and what mane-colour alleles Toriel carries.)

 

It's been a while since I posted something Radiant Historia here, so further elaboration on this one:

Another person there's a whole genre of totally-not-RPF about is the former crown prince who died a few years before the game starts. He was young and extremely popular, so there's now whole shelves worth of books where a beautiful commoner or minor noblewoman whose family is in dire straits falls in love with a high-ranking nobleman who's rebellious towards his family/father, hangs out with commoners, and is ~wise, kind, noble, brave~, and disproportionately likely to be blond and green-eyed. And, since a) none of the writers had ever actually met him and they only knew him by reputation and b) they were treading reeeally close to territory that could potentially get them beheaded and wanted to stay on the safe side, they invariably made the character based on him a Generic Gentle But Dominant Gary Stu Love Interest in a Generic White-Bread Vanilla Het Gender Roles Romance. The actualfax commoners he actualfax hung out with sometimes read them out loud for laughs when he wasn't around.

(The royal family also has some unusual magic powers, and while this is to some degree common knowledge/belief, exactly what those powers are isn't. This resulted in some prime hilarity when the authors decided to get creative. The one where royalty can talk to animals that kept deus ex machina-ing dramatic rescues and revelations via "a bird told me" was a perennial favorite. The one where they could see the future got even more suddenly-not-funny than the rest of them did after he died.

Spoiler

At some point post-canon Raynie found an extra-cheesy one that was making up a new random power practically every chapter ("Hey, Stocke, can you read minds?" "...No?") ("Hey, Stocke, can you, like, touch water and make it safe to drink?" "What.") ("Hey, Stocke, can you make yourself glow?" "Raynie, you can do that. Just use a basic light spell." "...Oh, right. Wonder why this book thought it was so special.") and then she got to a dramatic scene near the end where somebody royal is all, "Alas, for not even our powers can bring the dead back from beyond the grave!" and she about choked.

)

 

The monster SCP-2317 is restrained by the remains of another "Devourer entity", and that's the only way it can be contained. The obvious choice for one of those the Foundation already has and can either use to stop it escaping or use to defeat it is 682, but I'm thinking it's going to be 524 and the sweet little bunny will eat the kilometres-tall monster. Weirder shit has happened in the SCP Foundation.

 

i feel like this is the (un?)official motto.

 

For that matter, have they tried feeding other Keters to Walter? I know he did a number on 682 even if he didn't manage to eat all of it.

I maintain they should just try to synchronise the many apocalypses they have coming and watch them cancel each other out. We know 231's thing doesn't seem to actually be connected to 2317, so one of them could eat the other. 032 could probably cause serious damage to some of the natural SCPs and 1440 to the man-made ones. Throw some of the monsters into the expanding black hole? Stick 106 in one of the infinite labyrinths and let him melt his way through endless walls which never lead anywhere? Headcanon that rock-paper-scissors with the skips could save the world.

 

silly lorien legacies headcanons! spoilered because it got longer than i thought it would, whoops

Spoiler: spoilers within, long

• nine likes to use his antigravity legacy to hang off ceilings and scare the bejesus out of people stumbling to the bathroom in the night.

to his surprise, the only person who's actually reflex-punched him is sarah. (six did, however, yank him off the ceiling into a suplex once, which he doesn't count.)

• adam discovers a fun new way to process a lifetime of indoctrination and religious abuse: posting quotes from the Great Book on Fundies Say the Darnedest Things for people to make fun of.

• five has accidentally taken on the texture of pillows, sheets, mattress, etc. in his sleep many times. nine has absolutely left stuffed animals on him while he slept before for giggles

• post-war, nine has not stopped making jokes about '[doing things] with one hand' since the day he lost his arm. someone make him stop

• arsis regularly bothers serkova with memes when none of the other mogadorian kids at ashwood will bother answering him, because serkova's a data surveyor and clearly that means he has to know about memes, right?

serkova does not know about memes. he is infuriated with arsis for wasting his time and yet also morbidly curious, and can't seem to help asking him what the fuck he's talking about.

'arsis what the FUCK IS A SKELETON' is not his proudest outburst.

• two/maggie has written SO MUCH SLASHFIC. not being able to upload it to the internet for safety reasons did nothing to stop her. surprisingly enough there's not really any smut in there, just ridiculous overblown romance cliches.

Spoiler: sad

adam read the whole folder while in possession of her laptop, after her death. he didn't know her and he's not much into romance lit, but he figures it's what she'd have wanted.

• hannu actually thought ivan was kinda cute and was trying to flirt with him in their first interaction. unfortunately ivan a) did not pick up on this and took it as mockery, b) is an asshole, and c) was planning to kill him at the time.

• vatborn need a LOT of fuel, and on missions without access to nutrient solution they have a tendency to completely clear out gas stations of candy, snacks, and greasy food.

• phiri dun-ra cannot get enough of shitty fusion cuisine, once she discovers it. she thinks it's Classy and therefore suitable for a high-ranking trueborn such as herself. no one has the heart, or the courage, to tell her