sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

While this has been jossed by canon--

Whereas the hero type players have the heroic/just death clause fitting for a cathartic death in an adventure story, the noble type players whose session is doomed to failure have a tragic for self/ others death clause.

in effect this means they only stay dead if it means cutting their story short just before its catharsis, and/or if it means it will absolutely wreck another player.

 

i just saw a thing where someone pointed out that it's entirely possible that papyrus knows his spaghetti is bad

but everyone tells him that they love it so he just thinks they have really bad taste in spaghetti and keeps making them them bad spaghetti

 

bonus addon: in traditional skeleton culture you give a bone to a teacher when you start learning from them

undyne did not know this. undyne overplayed her happiness at getting the bone gift. papyrus was like, oh, you really like the bones? and so just. keeps bringing them. and undyne keeps acting as though she really likes the bones.



also his slow improvement with the spaghetti is him trying to slooowly improve sans and undyne's tastes in spaghetti

 

Waaaaaay back in troll prehistory, bluebloods with centaur lusii were the first trolls to invent cheese, yoghurt, kefir, and other preserved/fermented milk products. Centaur lusii give milk constantly and have no objections to being milked by their charges, so those trolls always had a surplus-it just made sense to find ways to turn it into something that could be kept for extended periods or given in trade easily.

 

During the Master's tenure as Prime Minister Saxon and subsequent year as world dictator, he ordered Wimbledon Common to be dug up. Nobody was sure why, including the people doing it, and all sorts of rumours got about.

The truth is, he was hoping to find the Wombles.

 

So, in the Stormlight Archive, the part of the world where most of the action (so far) happens has a very strong and elaborate set of gender roles. One of the more extensive oddities of it is that being able to read is considered feminine, to the point that a male surgeon owning an anatomical textbook with labels in pictorial shorthand gets side-eyed because it's close to writing and that's Weird. Academia in the countries where this tradition is the norm is pretty much entirely composed of 1) noblewomen and 2) members of the priesthood (who are legally treated as sexless), and men in power typically have one or more women in their retinue to act as scribes and read things to them. Books often have what's called "undertext," basically footnotes with commentary that aren't read aloud, and most men have absolutely no idea it exists.

I explain all this as background for my headcanon: There absolutely exists some famous work of experimental Alethi literature where the undertext is basically one big hilarious MST on the text-text, and there are many, many men out there who have had it read to them because they heard it's popular and are then really confused what the big deal is and why their niece kept doubling over laughing while narrating it.

 

Headcanon for Nikhee Moolah's voice:

Alternian slam poetry is often strikingly similar to this in lyrical content too.

 

odditycollector's Trickster Mode headcanons.

 

Since musclebeast sculpture is considered high art rather than pornography, Horuss also has a collection of rubber models of other random horse parts lying around.

 

Including one of those disturbing horse masks?

 

frisk grew up with people who for whatever reason just really hated mirrors. they have never seen a mirror before the start of the game and thought that reflections were something that could only occur on top of the water.

when they saw the mirror in toriel's house they were like ????????? what? doppelganger??? and that's why chara goes "it's you!"
because frisk doesn't know what a mirror is


by the end of the game they still think that the mirror are like...water that is flying somehow

 

i'm imagining that it takes like...weeks for frisk to realize that 'mirror' isn't a term for like, 'water in the side of the wall'

 

Cecil's first plug for Big Rico's sounds to me like either he's never eaten pizza or he actively hates it; he seems to be struggling to find a positive way to describe it.

 

Khoshekh floats because he's standing on the buttered side of a piece of toast.

 

Anyone else a fan of trolls with tails? CUUUUTE

 

i like to imagine trolls as having like...plates? like a few armourplates, with tough grey skin in-between

also digitigrade and tailed, with most of them having swivelears, and the seadwellers having book-lungs

 

the gen IV player characters and the X/Y player character all are aura sensitive and could theoretically train to become aura guardians

the main practical results of that (that aren't riolu-line related) are that mega evolution is easier for them and that, barring things like seals, any two pokeballs of theirs that are the same kind are indistinguishable to anyone who isn't aura sensitive and they don't have a set order of pokeballs on their belt or anything to let them know which pokeball is where, they just feel the auras

that's also why you can switch order of your pokemon at any time but most trainers don't, they have to keep belt order the same to avoid things like accidentally sending out the wrong pokemon

 

relatedly: every part of sir aaron's outfit did stuff. it wasn't just the gloves that Did Things.
riley's clothes also Do Things but since he'd gone to iron island to train, he'd deliberately mostly taken largely-ordinary clothes
the hat and shirt/necklace do things though, as do the shoes

 

Things that came up in Discord chat with a friend for reasons I swear made sense at the time: Jade Curtiss from Tales of the Abyss would play healers in video games because then no one acts like he's in charge, but he holds everyone's puny lives in the palm of his hand.

 

I like to picture the kid trolls with pawfeet and tails, but it's really hard to imagine the adult trolls like that. So maybe I should go with the theory that their adult molt turns them more humanoid, or what?