sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

Using a theory about Marvus' possible powers, Tumblr's spoopyspoony came up with this:

Spoiler

 

I'm also convinced Marvus doesn't actually look the way he's shown in the game; he's certainly messing with people's perception in other ways to work up the crowd to the extent he does. The narration describes him as "of modest height" and "lanky", which doesn't sound like how the picture looks at all, and he's light enough that the repeatedly-noted-to-be-weak PC can drag him around, so I think he's messing with the viewers' heads.

 

Order of the Stick's Monster in the Darkness is a Dread Gazebo. From the forum:

 

In her travels across Tenebrae healing people of the Starscourge, Lunafreya Nox Fleuret has written Ravus's phone number in a great many public bathrooms along with the message 'call this number for a good time'. In the end he got a new number and refused to tell her what it was in self-defence.

Unfortunately, this method of resistance was useless when Ardyn independently started doing the same thing in bathrooms across Niflheim, as Ravus is required to keep in contact with Imperial high-ups like Chancellor Izunia.

 

Once Priestess, Lizard Priest, and Dwarf Shaman gain a few levels, they'll be able to fight monsters like this:

 

All of these are Keaton from Fire Emblem: Fates. Including the relentless attempts to stick his tongue in everyone’s mouths. Niles had no idea frenching could be so unsexy.

 

Hetalia's narrator lady is Esperanto-tan; being a created language with no country, she's a voice with no body who floats around commenting on everything the nations are doing.

 

My headcanon voice for Marvus was originally Antonio Banderas as Puss in Boots; after his route's release, it changed to Danny John-Jules as Red Dwarf's Cat.

 

Deltarune: the Holidays, being reindeer, have knees that make a clacking sound when they walk.

 

Spoiler: friendsim spoiler

Lanque's SFW poetry party seems very out of character for Ardata to host, until you figure that by troll standards it's just as scandalous as the drunken rave in the NSFW route. MC attended a pale orgy!

 

Bad Horse from Dr horrible's sing a long blog is a kelpie

 

I'll admit I have only seen one episode with her so far, but I'm pretty sure Princess Entrapta is going to wind up creating Stabby the Fantasy Space Roomba.

 

Hachijo Tohya from Umineko has had the equivalent of the Umineko anime happen to one of her books and that's why she's Like That.

 

i am so sorry

 

Whoville makes a tradition of the Grinch stealing everything and returning it. When he gets too old to make it round the whole town and up the mountain, the grown-up Cindy Lou Who takes over.

 

Trolls tend to be left-handed.

 

Sans's shortcuts work like tessering in l'Engle's Time Series; he folds space to step from one location to another.

 

Rose Quartz was, at one point, romantically involved with Alexander Hamilton. You cannot convince me otherwise.

 

Neocybertron from the end of Lost Light is the distant past of transformers prime. I am aware this doesn’t stand up to scrutiny but it explains the eyebrows

 

Persona 5: At some point Ryuji and Morgana were arguing, as they do, and it got to ad hominem attacks, also as they do, and Futaba commented out of the blue "You know, when Mona gets his human body back, those two are going to have epic screaming hatesex."