sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

Yoda has some precognition, to the point that he knows what he's about to say before he thinks it and always starts at the end of his sentence out loud

 

I've never thought too hard about it before but Phineas and Dr. Doofenschmirtz look and act pretty similar; similar enough that I definitely think there's some sort of relation there. I wonder if that's intended

 

badeline is a cuddlebug but like

she has An Image she wants to project. she tries to be Aloof about it. the result is that madeline gets randomly leaned on or otherwise touched in a way that doesnt immediately look like cuddles a lot when unfused

 

Spoiler: minor su spoilers

Between Gemcation and A Very Special Episode, I’ve concluded that Pearl is TERRIFIED of snakes. Like, legit phobia levels. Whether or not she realizes it’s an irrational fear is...up for debate.

 

Dahlia Hawthorne has a pastel-themed Tumblr with point-8 font and sends anonymous death threats over fandom drama.

 

I'm very fond of the human versions of Ruby and Sapphire my pals and I are using for an AU. Namely, they're Garnet's biological parents; one of them is trans, but no one knows which one and they won't tell anyone. Garnet may or may not know, but either way, they didn't actually tell her, and she's not telling anyone else either.

 

Spoiler: CATS: the musical

Please consider the series of horrified texts you get from your neighbour, because she put a GoPro on her kitty's collar and discovered that he goes to an annual cat rave in the junkyard. So does your cat Mittens, and probably every cat in half a mile. Later, you have to actually sit down in front of Mittens and ask if he can really do magic. You're worried he might answer.

 

Mr Mistoffelees could be trans. The original joke in the poem when he "produced seven kittens right out of a hat" was it was supposed to be the Your Tomcat Is Female trope, but in the musical and movie he's sapient enough to have a defined gender identity and is still going by Mister.

 

Gaster laughs like SpongeBob but deeper and more crazed

 

At least one of Ferdinand von Aegir's horses (AT LEAST one) is called Pferdinand von Aegir.

(Pferd being a german word for horse)

 

Sagira from Destiny 2 is the most spoiled Ghost in the known universe. She has a lil stand to sit on wherever Osiris actually lives and demands to be polished even when she´s spotless bc she wants the attention.

 

I don't know what nutrients he could be getting from it but my brain went straight to Deadpool eating dry ramen. Just crunching down the noodles and dumping the flavor packet straight into his face.

 

Spoiler: nsfw-ish?

Banshee-44 of Destiny fame has a sidegig making like, the best, most finely-crafted sex toys in the City. But only when he remembers that it's a business and not just a holiday. The quality is legendary but the delivery times are legendarily unreliable. Somehow nobody's worked out it's him running it.

 

Someone introduces Hat Kid to pride month and she proceeds to make this absolute hellish monstrosity of a pride outfit

it involves far too much glitter and manages to make even pastels into oversaturated neons and physically hurts to look at

 

as a direct result of that, plus bow kid's related Glitter Shenanigans, the snatcher develops a dislike of the month of june

"back in my day people were more discreet, and didn't hold huge parades in the street about this, with flags and colourschemes and shouting and most heinous of all, the scourge that is glitter" snatcher rants, glittering faintly because hat kid gave him a hug and bow kid was in the same room as him two days ago

 

Yoruichi sometimes, in cat form, will lick people with her horrible sandpaper tongue. She prefers doing this when the lickee is unsuspecting. Soifon over there working on her paperwork all serious like? All bitchy? Just ABSORBED in the papers?

give her a lick

Urahara was being an annoying fuck earlier and is just taking a peaceful nappy nap? Time For The Sandpaper Tongue. Hello Kisuke. IT IS TIME. TO BE AWAKE. HORRIBLY SO.

 

One theory about Xefros is that, while he's bad at telekinesis, he's really awesome at talking to the dead and just hasn't had a chance to find out yet.

 

A dissection of Fifty Shades pointed out that Christian dresses entirely in grey and gets angry at Ana when, among other things, she wants a car that isn't silver: