sorry i don't make the rules: ridiculous/lighthearted headcanons

I bet I would eat at Nepeta's house.

 

:33<i threw this purrfectly good piece of meat onto the fire, just like you asked, i don't know what you're complaining about
NEPETA IT'S STILL FUCKING BLEEDING
:33<that's how you know it's furesh!

 

Nepeta takes rare steak to a whole new level

 

Eh, my problem with what a lot of people call "rare" is that it's COLD.

If you kill it yourself instead of taking it out of the fridge that probably fixes that right??

(I can't remember whether this discussion was in WT or SPR2, but there was a discussion between Ford and Valiska along the lines of 'yes, dear, I know you're a predator, but that's not the way we want to find out what pathogens are lurking in a new dimension, so let me cook that...')

 

that reminds me of this:

 

terezi plays flight rising and makes it a point to have the most eye searing dragons possible, and undergoes huge breeding projects she'll never admit to to achieve that goal.

 

I can see Peridot doing this, but to herself.

Then she gets angry when the soda burns her eyes.

 

Some Humanstuck bullshit:

• Terezi is legally blind; she can see a little, but even with glasses her eyesight is abysmal. She tends to dress in bright garish clothes with weird prints partly because it's easier to distinguish them in her closet that way.
• Aradia and Damara are half-sisters. They have the same mom (The Handmaid), but Aradia's dad is Droog and Damara's is most likely Doc Scratch, though she's not 100% sure and frankly doesn't want to know for sure. They're both half-Japanese (with Handy being completely Japanese); Aradia looks like a pretty even mix of Japanese and Ashkenazi Jewish ancestry (very distinctly Asian features but more Jewish-looking coloration), but the only thing about Damara that's a giveaway that she's mixed-race is that her eyes are very distinctly green.
• As an addition to the above, Damara is fluent in both Japanese and English, but Aradia's Japanese is pretty mediocre--better than your average weeaboo and she could probably get by to some extent if she had to, but she has a very obvious accent and her grammar and especially pronunciation leave a fair bit to be desired. She's a lot better at reading and writing it than she is at speaking it.
• Aradia has roped Sollux into marathoning Steven Universe with her on at least one occasion. Sollux's fave is Garnet, for obvious reasons. Karkat is a pretty big fan as well, not that he'll admit it. (He DEFINITELY didn't cry at The Answer, what are you talking about????)
• Feferi dyes her hair various shades of pink, and Meenah bleaches hers.
• Damara has some tattoos and piercings, as does Meenah. Porrim has them both beat, of course.
  
• After things went south for Damara, she began refusing to speak English at school, as a way of isolating herself. This did not help matters.

I should also do Tumblr headcanons at some point...

 

That reminds me. Most of the Persona 3 cast have Tumblrs. The biggest poster is Fuuka, whose blog is mostly mori girl fashion and tech news. But the one with the most followers is the female protagonist, who runs a single-topic sideblog dedicated exclusively to Koromaru being adorable.

 

I figure Bill does it because his eyes turn into mouths. Don't everyone's?

 

and now i'm picturing amethyst turning her eyes into mouths

she could totally do it

the jury is out on whether she'd wanna, however

 

Maybe she read Sandman.

 

Spoiler: Spoilery Radiant Historia Headcanons re: one dude and gender.

There's a male character in RH who, because spoilers, acquired a piece of a female character's soul as a teenager/young man. I headcanon that one side effect of this is that it messes up how other people's genders read to him: sometimes women ping as "same gender as me" to him, sometimes men pin as "different gender from me". He still identifies as a guy, and it doesn't mess with his orientation since I headcanon him as bi... he just occasionally get mixed up about how other people are gendered in relation to him.

I also headcanon he lives in a culture where social mores re: gender call for different treatment of men and women in social interaction.

Consequence: shortly after the soul-piece acquisition, he found himself:

• holding doors for men, and then wondering why the hell he was doing it.
• using formal and polite language in front of men, but being informal in front of women.
  
• sitting down before other women, but waiting for men to seat themselves. This has caused enough minor confusion for other people that he now just prefers to remain standing.
• One time he almost accidentally followed a group of women to the woman's side of a public bathhouse. (Every bit as awkward as it sounds.)

On the plus side, he's no longer body-shy about being treated by a female doctor! Which is good, since it seems like there are only two people with medical training in the RH world, and one of them's Sonja.

 

Oh, and FeMC liveblogged taking Koromaru to the movies. The post has 80,000 notes.

 

When Vriska told other trolls about Nic Cage, they confused him with Nick Cave, and Murder Ballads became the most popular album in the dreambubbles for a while.

 

Kanaya's fave is Rose.
No It Is Not Because Of Her Name
Its Because Her Sacrifice For The Wellbeing Of Her People Is So Poignant
Stop Laughing
Nepeta's fave is Amethyst. Cheerful violence and bickering with the neurotic one?
Equius' problematic face is Pearl. Such poise, such self-control... But she's a rebel of the lowest class???

 

I feel like Nepeta and Amethyst would get on well. So would Roxy and Amethyst.

(also dave and greg becoming bffs and greg p much adopting him after he learns his home life was shit y/hy/hfy)

 

Knock Outs Holo avatar is a regency dandy. What do you mean, it´s only a few centuries out of date! And modern mens fashion is so boring.

 

*decides I am now only allowed to post Radiant Historia ones if I post one from another, less obscure canon*
Another FF7 one which I've seen a couple of other people propose but dammit, I came up with it independently so it counts: Aeris's motives for proposing her brilliant plan to get into Corneo's mansion were... not pure. She's got a thing for crossdressing. :::PPP (She wasn't expecting Cloud to actually take it seriously; she thought he'd roll his eyes and they'd go in via the roof or something. She was delighted when he did.)

The small adorable overpowered satyr child in RH will eat anything. She wants to try everything. Even the party member who grew up on the streets in a city in the desert balks at some of the things Aht is willing to eat. She was disappointed when nobody tried to cook the Hell Spider, because she wanted to know what it tasted like and c'mooon, you could feed a whole bunch of people off a monster this big! "It's poisonous, Aht." "But I've got Polaris an' we've got a bunch of Anti-Poisons and you and Mr. Marco can cure poison and-" "No."

 

At least 33% of what Solas is elven pop culture references. Just turns of phrase in his banters that make perfect sense in context so no one notices but they're the Arlathan equivalent of 'we're doing this, we're making this happen.'