Sorting stuff out

I... think Alix uses qualifiers not to be dismissive but in attempt to be as sincere (and thus accurate) as possible.

 

Perhaps, similar to your original apology to me, you need to clarify on what you did that was wrong and why it was wrong, and state you will make an effort not to do so again.
I do not need an apology, and I'm not sure you thought why that was so.

 

Well saying I'm sorry for the skype stuff seems really dismissive.

It wasn't small, it was really huge and I've been heavily considering leaving the forum cause I don't feel safe here anymore.

 

Yeah. I wasn't saying you were wrong!

 

Hi. This is Bash. Good to know you're sorry. I'm kind of mad, but mostly confused as fuck and a little freaked out because hey, I thought I could trust people with those photos. I thought that if I just stayed out of other people's fights I'd be safe from getting fucking blackmailed. Doesn't matter if you didn't "mean" it, it still hurts and makes me feel less safe.

I hope the block-timer works. If it doesn't, I'd recommend you taking a break from the forum until you get more stable. If you're not seeing a professional for your brain stuff, please for the love of Pete start doing so. Your problems are becoming everyone else's problem and we're not qualified nor getting paid to deal with it. That's not fair.

 

Yeah, I used "the Skype stuff" because I vaguely remember there were some other things than the nudes thing, but I don't remember what. But at least, yeah, I'm sorry for threatening you with your nudes. (Which, again, I didn't even have. Just stating this because I've seen a lot of people go "Well, if they saved them, then it was premeditated".)
So, I have some understanding of the initial stuff, as I said above. But for what happened on Skype, including the nudes threat, I have absolutely no idea. Especially since it ended up with me outright saying things that weren't true to Cedar and Jade about how I felt to them, which is simply not a thing I've ever imagined myself doing, but as I said before, I'm thinking this was probably an attempt at large-scale self-destructing.

And again, "professionals" here suck, they still use Freud's stuff, one of them diagnosed me with psychotic traits because I said I was abused and attempted suicide, all of the ones I can see are associated with the psych ward I spent a while in last year, and I can't trust a therapist enough to actually tell them my problems.

 

Gentle reminder.

 

Okay, so:
- Suicide baiting. Pretty unambiguously wrong, particularly on a forum where many members are particularly vulnerable to it. That usually stems out of anger in my case, finding a way to vent that without hurting people is gonna be a priority from now on.
- Refusing to bail out of a conversation even after people repeatedly asked me to do so. That one's because of a combination of "I Have To Know™ and I need to point out the lies people are saying about me" and interpreting the aforementioned messages as "Shut up and go away", which, to be fair, they kinda were to an extent for some of them. Stepping off might actually be achievable now that I have that website-blocking app thing and I've left the Kintsugi Skype conversation.
- Threatening to send nudes. Whether or not I actually had them, the threat itself is not something I should have done. I don't remember why I did that at all, but I think I was panicking. Since this happened near the end, I'm thinking stepping away from the argument/website when I feel I'm starting to get angry at people might also work.

In summary, I actually have all the tools to achieve that, now it's just a matter of breaking my routines and rebuilding them to integrate those tools into them.

 

I read your post on X's thread and I read that was an effort to defame Khan. Do you believe she is spreading lies about you?

 

@raybot Yeah, that's pretty much what I'm thinking it was. It fits the similar self-destructive stuff I've done before.

 

Not specifically me, but I have seen her misrepresenting if not outright lying about Jade and Cedar's actions, as well as denying the abuse of some people on ITA.
I also think your own representation of Cedar "preying on people's insecurities" is, at best and to be polite, really uncharitable, BTW.

 

To put it simply: I'm not the only missing stair in here, and I'm allowed to point out the other ones.

 

While it's unrelated, I refuse to denounce that there is no coincidence between me voicing how I'm terrified of my father silencing me for speaking out against what he did to me and Cedar's guilt-tripping text wall.

As for Khan, would you like to give an example?

 

I called ITA a hugbox sometimes and said cotton ceiling people are repackaged incels.

 

I meant more denying abuse and lying about others. I probably don't understand the context of incel.

 

The "denying abuse" thing came from me calling ITA a hugbox. I said, users are pretty eager to reassure people that they are being abused, even if what they describe is standard fare.

 

I've read Cedar's post and it's actually pretty usual for them, I don't think there was any attempt at manipulation.

Also, unrelated, but it's been mentioned that I threatened suicide? I don't remember that, can someone point me at the posts where I said that? It's definitely something I'm able to do so I'm not saying you're lying, but I don't know what I actually said about that.

 

Although I will say part of that is context, since with some forms of abuse it's not the individual instances that stand out too much but the big picture. And I think you agreed w/ that?

EDIT: Not to dismiss or soften your viewpoint since I agree that's where the 'denying abuse' accusation comes from.