Sorting stuff out

Discussion in 'Brainbent' started by palindromordnilap, Feb 2, 2017.

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  1. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    Dude, you're reading way too much into things. I mean what I mean, nothing more. I fucking hate the allistic "You said this but I'm gonna assume you meant something entirely different and probably insulting" thing.
    Anyway, I'm going to shut up until I get back home, because we're STILL not done, apparently.
     
  2. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    Hahahaha. That is absolutely not true. I'm pretty sure you're damn well aware that I'm threatening to post them.

    So am I going to get an apology?
     
    • Like x 1
  3. Petra

    Petra space case

    Ps, Alix: typically part of apologizing is not lashing out when people are still scared of you.
     
    • Like x 11
  4. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    I like how you're ignoring my comment, and I STILL think your apology was super insincere and I feel like you don't care about what you did.
     
    • Like x 1
  5. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    This is generally the kind of thing you've said after coming out of these episodes, yes. And I'm sure you mean it. Until something sets you off and we're back into the same nasty territory as before, and it sure as heck feels like the nastiness has been escalating. This latest one especially feels like you've been casting around particularly looking for exciting new ways to hurt people. The fact that you've done this three times on a forum where a significant number of people are vulnerable to the kind of attacks you've been using? People are extremely justified in being afraid of you. Even if you mean it now when you say you won't go after people, what's going to set you off next? Someone criticized a blogger none of us knew you followed? Someone was critical of your SO? Or your friend? None of these are things I would generally expect to set off explosions like we've seen, and yet... here we are.

    I'm not afraid of you because you don't have any way to hurt people that I'm vulnerable to. That's it. I'm not going to criticize anyone who is afraid you'll go after them, because you've given them ample reason to be afraid. I am pretty done, and even while we're nominally trying to debug and prevent your own explosions, which is a thing I want very much to happen and help with, the attitude that keeps coming from you is making me even more done. It shouldn't be that easy for me to get even more done at this point, and yet. It really makes the apologies ring false when you admit to wrongdoing and turn right around and roll your eyes at the people who have been hurt.
     
    • Like x 22
  6. cyborgism

    cyborgism they/them

    iirc:
    1. 'ugh'
    2. to khan in her vent thread
    3. to vivec in their vent thread
    4. to vivec in your vent thread
    5. your suicide baiting dead dove thread

    i want an apology from you for
    • when you came into my vent thread and called riley a piece of shit, to my face. (he's my boyfriend, btw, if that wasn't very clear by now. even if you weren't aware of that at the time, what were you even thinking before you said that?? seriously?)
    • quoting a post from my vent thread into your dead dove thread when i had the thread on ignore and you knew it. ignoring the thread meant i wanted nothing to do at all with the entire clusterfuck, and your post was even about how people being able to ignore the thread was why you had made a separate one, so like. what was even the point of doing that if you then brought me/my words into it *anyways*
     
    • Like x 7
  7. Xavius Emeritus

    Xavius Emeritus Suit Monkey

    I feel pretty empty-handed with this whole debate. About the only thing that I have to contribute is this:

    Alix, people are upset with you. People are going to be. It's been said earlier in the thread, but I think it bears repeating that not everyone is going to forgive you, and you are not necessarily going to agree with everyone's opinions on you. Just about the least productive thing you could do for re-integration purposes is continue seeking out people who disagree with you and fighting them.

    I'm not going to mince words here: I saw that after you made your post here about holding your tongue until you get home, you went for a vent thread to have a disagreement about Cedar. You're still seeking fights and still defending people, some of whom have removed themselves from the boards as a result of this conflict, even when it's been repeatedly pointed out to you that that's making it worse. It is my sincere advice that you stay focused on actually, as this topic title says, sorting stuff out instead of trying to re-engage in fights and re-engage in vent threads. Nothing productive whatsoever is ever going to come out of that, you're just going to butt heads again and come out looking even worse than you already are.
     
    • Like x 19
  8. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    - I still see absolutely nothing wrong with Cedar's post.
    - Too much stuff to answer, can you break it down a bit?

    - As for the evidence, yeah, okay, you know what? The only way to get it would be to go through Khan and Vivec's vent threads, and the only thing this would achieve would be making my wildfeline ass angrier at them. So, you know what?
    I take it back. I'm just gonna assume I was misremembering. Which means I apologize to Khan for saying she lied about stuff.
     
  9. Petra

    Petra space case

    That's... nnnot a great apology but okay.
     
    • Like x 3
  10. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    Are you joking. I.
    Someone handle this for me. I've officially lost my patience for Alix.
     
    • Like x 3
  11. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    It seems this thread is completely unnecessary, as most of the forum hates me anyway. I'm leaving it.
    If an admin's here, please ban me and refuse to unban me even if I ask to.
    Oh well, so much for getting better.
     
  12. spockandawe

    spockandawe soft and woolen and writhing with curiosity

    People are absolutely going to be angry at you and afraid of you, their memories of the explosion didn't poof away when yours did, it is in extremely poor taste to keep rolling your eyes at the people you have hurt
     
    Last edited: Feb 14, 2017
    • Like x 14
  13. Mercury

    Mercury 17 Quicksilver Scribe Tramples The Unrepentant

    A primer on how to apologize appropriately. Please note: the bit about actually feeling sorry doesn't mean you have to feel an emotion you label as remorse; in situations like these it generally means wishing you hadn't done the thing, wanting to and being willing to make amends for what you did, and vowing to make steps toward preventing yourself from doing the thing again. If you don't have at least the latter two those three things, then you aren't actually sorry.
     
    • Like x 13
  14. cyborgism

    cyborgism they/them

    apologize to me for calling riley a piece of shit in my vent thread, and for quoting my post in your dead dove thread, which i did not want to be involved with at all, even indirectly.
     
    • Like x 2
  15. Gyro Zeppeli

    Gyro Zeppeli Pseudo Anti Cult Leader

    Hey so you kinda posted this on tumblr

    [​IMG]
    So like, how fake were those apologies
     
    • Like x 7
  16. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    • Like x 3
  17. Petra

    Petra space case

    Am I a TERF or am I an abuser, Alix?
     
    • Like x 6
  18. Newlyread

    Newlyread Killer Queen

    ...what the fuck.
     
    • Like x 7
  19. leo

    leo Well-Known Member

    I can't believe Alix is so pissed that people are telling them that they lied they just... straight-up called us abusers. This is gold.
     
    • Like x 6
  20. michinyo

    michinyo On that Dumb Bitch Juice diet

    Sooooo when are we going to do something about Alix basically labeling everyone here as TERFs and abusers?
     
    • Like x 4
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