SQUAWK! (Hawkeguy's nonsense - IN SPACE!)

COUNTRY ROUNTRY
TAKE ME HOUNTRY
TO THE PLAAAACE I BLAAAACE
WEBSTB B AZINGA
MOUNTAIN MOUNTAIN
TAKE ME HOUNTAIN
ROADY COOOOOOUNTS

 

i've decided on one (1) middlename!
lost the R.R.R. alliteration, BUT it sounds *utterly rad*. and is a very roundabout reference to one of my favourite transformers, because while Percy/Percival doesn't sound good with my full first name, PARcival def does >8)
also fulfills the "want a cool knight name just cos it sounds great" wish i had since i threw out "arthur" and "lancelot" as potential names.
...am i gonna test how many middle names the court will allow? MAYBE

 

i just solved a simple equation (from a naruto screenshot nontheless) in my HEAD for the first time in my life and am still crying about it

and then i went to look for some more and solved five, and i had to write down some of it for the last three ones, but this is the first time i did this and i'm HIGHKEY WAILING and SUPER undecided what the hell this actually means now because like,
i'm 22

 

saw a video essay about superman, where as one of the points of view on him was "he needs a reason to help people but he never has one an that's why he's unrelatable" to which, Ha! the mighty headcanon train has bested you already, famous director zack snyder!! clarky clark just has the same problem as me where internal rewards don't motivate him and since he's learned early how good it feels to help people, that's his reward!! that can totally be his motivation to do things, people around him are more ok and he's happy about that!! doesn't need any bigger explanation, that can just be how he likes his life to be, under ideal circumstances!
dc. hire me.
anyways, and for the not killing thing....seriously man, the best explanation this guy can come up with for "i don't wanna kill people" is HE HAD TO KILL SOMEONE TO KNOW HOW IT FEELS?! zack mate you alright there?!
anyways
clark kent cool and good, and i know comparatively little about him and i'd still trust him to, y'know, NOT KILL A PERSON AND HELPING COS HE WANTS TO
jesus fuck wallowing in contrived grimpain just turns comics based media into a whole ass outwards affair doesn't it

 

i need to remember that i can unbork my flat slowly, i still have it in my brain that everything needs to be done after i start and that just results in jack shit happening bc i'm Big Exhausted all the time and more dirty stuff piling up =,=

on the other hand i'm finally getting stuff done again after neglecting shit for half a year so whoop

 

[lies down sideways] had a dream i found the literal perfect sketchbook. smooth paper with just the smallest bit of grain, not too bleached white, laid flat when opened, markers and watercolour didn't get sucked up immediately and didn't bleed through...
[sighs]
ah well, fuckit. should buy watercolour primer for my regular sketchbook tho, probably

 

when i do something, i feel like my brain works again for a bit (i mean like, a normal people thing. cleaning a little, or cooking) but afterwards when i sit down and wanna write out the very good sounding comments or answers or scripts or essays about random stuff it just...poof
word gone
kinda frustrating but that doesn't stop me from being apparently capable of shribbling a page in my journal full of a long winded complaint about a specific phase during the consumption of iced coffee when i wanted to practice quick sketches instead (rare) or barely restraining myself from spamming "chungus" at people on twitter that i don't like (absolutely not rare)

anyways i just remembered i had a full on breakdown over not enough coffee being in my coffee yesterday

 

listening to sound horizon's moira album again since yesterday and man, "story of the dying ones" (approximate googled-together translation because "shiseru monotachi no monogatari" is a fucking tongue twister title) continues to be a mood
the world keeps happening everywhere! history does, also! we're probably inevitably hurtling towards chaos and just sort of rolling through the world and wondering where we're all going with this, and what we should even do? why? whomst? how? only destiny knows, and destiny is an ASSHOLE

(the badly summarized plot of the album is "angry and tired guy from fantasy greece makes a pact with the god of death to throw down with both the local monarchs and also the goddess of destiny herself." it's very likely that all of this was, in fact, orchestrated by said goddess from the start, which in turn made ME go "if there's someone like that, i WILL stab her". fate is a flat circle, life is a matryoshka of what-in-the-fuck. LOTS of epic tunes and glimpses into a long history of a fantasy version of earth that's incredibly anime, personally nostalgic for me, and fucked up to the nth degree.)

also an absolutely wonderful use of catchy themes.

 

soldiers of the wasteland is the superior dragonforce song to fire and the flames, accepting no criticism

 

i think i started getting into windscream fanart bc i, too, would fucking love getting mechhandled by a weird plucky sword having jet person who can talk to sentient cities and i think that's very cool and sexy of me

also, man, starscream just has a lot on his plate. the bot needs someone who can forcibly kick his ass both into doing better and chilling out a bit

 

i've been in a mood to replay my old games!!! i wanna play chrono trigger and ff7 and all the others. i really remember loving them, so i should prolly give them a whirl again!!
gotta find my ds charger and all my old game cds

 

i forgot how much i love final fantasy!! oh man!!
(i found an account that in between nice art had memes and stuff, and went crashing all the way back to circa version 3,0 of me, and now i'm OH MAN I SHOULD TRY AND INCORPORATE SOME OF THAT STUFF INTO MY OWN FANTASY WORLD)
(I ALSO WANT ALL THE CLOTHES. I LOVE THAT COLOURFUL SUPER ORNATE CUTE AESTHETIC SO MUCHHHH
i wanna live in it)

 

ayreon's "the source" nominated for best album ever actually by: me
listen, something about the way lucassen strings sounds together is flipping MAGICAL and also yeah that fancomic is totally happening, i'm not a flake, noooo

 

forming sentences verbally is cumbersome today and people should just understand when i say "take" and nod sideways at my backpack and then my arms as "gotta put on my jacket", jeez

incidentally on the tram ride home from a meeting with a friend i started basing a whole headcanon of cybertronian language on that, and it involves subglyphs and very slight variations inside the packet...thing that contains a main (word) glyph, and while i don't think humans could produce the sounds required (or even understand them) i'm gonna try to make it as practical as can be, mainly to justify ass long monologues in between two punches

 

urrrrrghs and fellow people, the gender of the day is Teapot Advocate

 

Oh look it´s me.

 

THERE IS A DRIFTRATCH EVENT. i feel extremely fired up about my favourite couple of bantering robots

in unrelated news i made spaghet with tuna today. had almost no energy to even go out of the door and buy takeout yesterday and that prolly means i have to find better ways to manage Winter Energy Drain (tm), plan on doubling down on my journal use and actually log what takes the most spoons in correlation with the daily level of URGH for a start. and then slap stickers on there. very important!

 

BREAKFAST, LUNCH AND DONUT IN THE AFTERNOON COMBOOOOO

god. food is good. even if i didn't have to rely on it anymore i'd frikkin love to keep the ability to eat a good ole POT O NÖDELS, sometimes there's this inherent comfort in munching something tasty that i can't really describe but it's reminiscent of hiding under the blankets to snooze. very good

 

EVERY time i do hand studies there's a new "wait, what the FUCK" moment
(WHY ARE FINGERS LIKE THIS)
i'm starting to understand why some people just draw the same poses all over and over, or draw rectangular fingers

..but hey at least now i know why every pinky i've drawn looks funky (at least on my hand it APPEARS less like the half-of-halves thing fingers usually do, and more in perfect 3rds because a portion is just kinda hidden in the meat of the back of my hand. that's where the bump on the side comes from. it's the knuckle. HANDS. WHY.)

 

Spoiler: lost light spoilers

someone once did a math and concluded that if his backstory lined up correctly with the 4 million year war getaway couldn't be older than 500 years, which is just the funniest goddamn thing to me. imagine you managed to live through the biggest most devastating war in the history of your planet and then some fresh-off-the-belt thinplated pipsqueak manages to turn almost your whole crew against you and steals your ship