SQUAWK! (Hawkeguy's nonsense - IN SPACE!)

it's getting harder and harder to explain the existence of "hawke's siberian combination ski retreat and orgy house" and, related, "tundra fuckbucks"

 

this is slowly turning into the Robot Fandom Salt Zone lol
today's gripe: WHY OH WHY are people so fucking obsessed with characterizing rodimus as
"oh he's not REALLY like that the humour and bravado and everything is all just a mask 8^) poor baby needs to work through his trauma and he'll be normal 8^)"
like WOOOOOW there's going "character plays his thing up when he wants to avoids things" which, completely feasible, and there's wanting an easy excuse for a woobiefic bitch while sounding deep and IMO being rodimusphobic as hell lmao
(if you need some sad weepy soft(tm)boy from the get go, take, idk, megatron, now here's a broody one. or cyclonus. hell, ratchet is super emotional and subtly introspective! not that fleshies with bad taste go for the "ugly" ones haha, just weepy spineless fuckfodder in those houses)
just say you can't write his character and go, bruh

 

come to think the main reason why fanon-rodimus either seems to be fakey faker hiding Standard Woobie Personality (well. "personality") or flanderized as "being red and loud and not exactlt booksmart are his only traits" is prolly that he does a lot of...reacting, he reacts differently in different situations and it's nearly always drastic and intense as all hell and highly visible. (i headcanon him as feeling whatever emotion is happening at that moment with full force tbh which is just projection on what we see in the comic, like we never get a look rodimus' internals. which i really appreciate but yeah i think this headcanon tracks)
but like, it's still consistent y'know
even with reactions flying in all directions, the seeming contrast with him having constant, consistent plans and direction underneath, it forms a whole. it doesn't seem like hiding something to me, just other priorities (working on his leadership!! getting over how he treated others and working on that too!! the standard duties of sheperding a bunch of people!!) and the code switching of a very intensely feeling person

 

fic snippet that's not gonna end up anywhere because i don't write.
TFs, post-lost light self indulgent second person meandering in rodimus' head, very personal headcanon drenched, mild spoilers, barfing out thogts yada yada.

Spoiler

they all disbanded, and consequence caught up to those who'd found a short reprieve in the walls of the lost light. a time spent suspended in space interrupted by escapades and tomfoolery and a decent amount of deadliness. enough time to venture, time to plan. time to ponder, plot, think and change.
change.
with an irrational, turbulent, unburied part of your mind, you think it's your doing the crew went seperate ways and your home was torn to shreds. was it even your home? for you - rodimus, that is - maybe. maybe the closest thing that you could ever get. and the others, you half- think, the others had their places to go and their own plans and dreams and endeavours.
and because they - their wellbeing, to not be too selfish here - were *your* endeavour...you let them. of course.
primus only knows how much it'd hurt to do otherwise. to do the easy thing.
you couldn't stay on cybertron, of course. a place to live couldn't be on the same, stagnant planet with the same, stagnant people. the same planet and it's colonies that gave and took your people and your life with them, and megatron. don't think of megatron, dimspark. it couldn't have ended in any other way.
doing something is better than nothing, you reason, and definitely better than spending your days on a home planet that's become alien to you and so you - *of course * - sign up for the next best challenge: the 'exitus' needs good combatants, and if you're not one of the best there is you're gonna eat your helm.

 

[rodimus voice] iiii want to inspiiiire you!! i want to be your rock and when i talk it lights a fire in you!!

 

i found a really nice book on printing in the college library and i'm gonna save it on my eyeballs forever or swandive into hell head first

 

OLDSCHOOL LAYOUT BABEYYYY
just doing exercises making interesting shapes with letters on paper right now, but DANG i love typo class so. much. a+ way to spend time, just playing around is so much fun and like, i almost forgot how much i loved just fucking about completely ignoring all supposed rules that come with letters? totally recommend just attempting to arrange random letters interestingly on a paper!!

 

catra is just Furry Vriska

 

this it three times in a row i managed to misunderstand a lecturer's assignment. is it my brain? do they just not know how to use words? i'm gonna annoy the fuckers into giving me specifics from now on, jesus christ what an interpretative trainwreck.
in non-college things i highkey wanna print a small artbook i can slap into people's faces but don't have anything with the appropriate quality or enough resolution for printing, and also it's ice skating season and i can't fucking wait to become the ultimate jacked legs man on knife shoes this winter

 

time for yet another post by yours truly:
sites to theoretically post art on and my opinion thereof!

tumblr - my current fave because photosets, ok picture quality with only the occasional blurring, FUNCTIONAL TAGGING..., and, most importantly ways to make people interact with my fanart via comments-in-tags and anon asks. the fandoms on there are hell but it's easy enough to avoid even knowing of annoying people's existance, viva la block button and xkit. lots of fan projects get organized there, which i like even tho i never participate in them. really nice balance of art, writing, and other stuff in fandom tags (once you block the majority of dipshits, that is. but hey, on most other sites the dipshits are 99% of the content.). i honestly really hope it lasts for a long time because it's so much more easy to make art avaiable to people than on any other site i'm on.

deviantart - super awesome for uploading pics with minimal quality loss. horrid moderation. i have a bit of a problem coming across new art i like, which is sad because that's the reason why i personally upload art on the web, but then again groups seem good for that and i'm in all of...two. two groups. blocking annoying people is unfortunately complicated and takes me a huge chunk of energy out of me which is why i don't check my DA very often. being able to manage gallery folders and offer high quality downloads is really nice and so is the new site design

artstation - a place where you prolly put portfolio level art, of which i have none. bit of a problem with homogenous themes, one or five greebly photobashed spaceship sketches are cool, fifty sparth ripoffs left and right a day are a major cause of visual fatigue. dumb moderator rulings regarding pinup pics (they allow tiddy babes but masc pinups get flagged?!), majority of uploads are a stylistically incestuous soup of the current trends in visual development which isn't like, bad if you want money, but YAAAAAAWN. i'll still use it whenever i get around to doing halfway consistent prop or character designs that i don't want to die in a fire.

twitter - ATROCIOUS automatic cropping, really sours the whole thing. really bad tagging and search, no way to really organise stuff. also every dingus on earth is on there, which isn't ideal for me. however it's pretty dang good for sketches, updating on works in process, seeing what other artists are into the same stuff as me and following - and stealing visual cues from- them...
also of note are what i'm gonna call "hashtag events", which is stuff like inktober or transformer twitter's lost light fest. lots of people use similar prompts for their art, and then tag it with the name of the event. those are really motivating and nice, and have kind of a craft fair vibe to them. knowing you're participating in something with others is a nice headspace to be in while drawing.

mastodon.art - i think that's the biggest art-focused instance? i didn't check mine in quite a while, but the atmosphere there was super cool. also weird auto-crop of pic previews, but lots of different styles and mediums to be seen, and the fact that mastodon makes it super easy to add alternative text is GODSEND for my exdysing ass. you can set your comments so that only the artist can see them! people on there were really open about talking shop when i was there, and about their process and what inspired them. rad as hell. i felt so intimidated by the friendliness that i fled back to tumblr after four months of lurking, but i should prolly upload what i made in my absence on there.

instagramm - a hell pit. -10. only really good for keeping track of friends as you can't upload your stuff in any format that isn't a square. ok at what twitter does for me - going "yo i'm still alive look what i'm doing now" at people, but really, twitter does that a whole lot better. not capable of text posts, shows photos that don't use their stupidass filters less in search, more of an interaction/bragging/updating app than one that can be used for art. every three weeks some dipshit will slide into your DMs and ask you to illustrate their liefeld-esque beef man comic for free. however you apparently can livestream with it, which i wanna try because so far every attempt to get my webcam set up in a way that lets me stream traditional art was a hard fail.

 

that is super helpful info, thank you so much for sharing!!

 

(edit) this is obv unrelated to the above reply-post but i can't think of anything to say but hitting like ;u;

eughhhh...man, you know how people can interpret character how they want and it's fine...but...man, sometimes there's just a visceral hurt i feel when ppl keep talking about characters i see as heroic and relatable and awesome (with their warts and all but...still awesome) as. broken. like i know h/c is satisfying to some but something in me keeps screaming BUT LOOK AT ALL THE THINGS THEY'VE DONE AND EVERYTHING THEY CARE FOR AND ACKNOWLEDGE HOW COOL AND SMART AND SKILLED THEY ARE AND HOW MUCH THEY'VE GROWN.
and people will just keep going "Oh character x deserves better he's so sad" and i will be like "i mean yeah but HAVE YOU SEEN HOW MUCH HE'S DONE AND HOW HARD HE'S WORKING. LOOK AT HOW COOL HE'S BEING AND HOW HE'S DEALING WITH HIS ISSUES!"

the frustration is plenty and i can't even vocalise why. i wish i could find some way to signal that i wanna talk about characters like that and not like they're scrap metal to be smelted and reused, like, ofc there can always be better but...they're already awesome...please...are my boys not enough for y'all...

edit: apply above to about half of the Lost Light crew and you have my current robot feelings. if anyone wants to scream about how far they've come and all the shit that happened along the way, i'm here aaaall year

 

[peace sign emoji] an update to my social media opinions!!
twitter's proving itself an excellent site for holding short lil convos whenever i'm bored, which is unsurprisingly becoming a bit of a detriment to my productivity...i'm keeping it in check tho!!
fewer and fewer people leave comments in the tags on tumblr - i spose i can't fault them, i reblog less because i don't have as much energy to comment anymore - but it's kinda sad. it went from a site where i felt like i could share what i liked to hollering into the void and hoping someone throws a fishing line down there.

 

i'm touching processing again!! i know even less than when i started out, but by FUCK i WILL make a little something that'll let me roll initiative for DnD where i don't have to click things repeatedly!!!
(i have problems with getting the simplest what-does-what-again in order so that should be an adventure. yes, har har, baby level program. i agree. i'm baby. i failed all of my maths and logic classes in an epic way and i'm insatiable. i want convenience, and set large hordes of monsters on my players without making shit a hassle. and i want to make it myself!!)
true randomness isn't much of an issue, as everyone else also rolls dice electronically. my plan is to end up with a little something where i can input the number of enemies and their name, and then it outputs me a list of their respective initiative rolls with a satisfying little BWIP sound. that's really all, for now. maybe i wanna try to make it so i can type in MULTIPLE types of enemies and their numbers, and it gives me a nice ordered list of whomst goes when. but that's for the future. why am i excited about this? am i getting delusional again? probably. processing makes things easy, and i still don't get much of it, so don't give me any "why don't you want to learn a REAL language to make something to roll dice because you're fed up with combat taking a terriblong time"

 

to my OCs: i'm so sorry. i've left you alone for a good amount of time, i just don't feel up to the task of continuing to make your story spin right now - you deserve a world built to the best of my abilities, not some halfarsed shit.

 

i cannot believe destiny is fun

 

asher mir. that's it, that's the post

 

asher mir and his amazing dancing arm

 

he...i'd give my life for this crotchety space smurf and his Pain Limb
my character lives on io now, with occasional visits to mars, moon and the EDZ. asher may not like it buy i WILL hang around one of the only non-overbearing NPCs in the game! (plus my titan finds the stuff he does really interesting and wants to help, even if he can't make heads or tails of most of the research.)

 

new Distraction Project: ASHER COSPLAY
i've ordered blue paint for me skin. figuring that coat out is gonna be an adventure. the easiest thing about this is gonna be the vex arm...