Super General Advice (the thread for advice without making a thread)

Hometown and lowkey keep searching for animation job and honing your craft while doing a regular joe job seems like the most practical choice imo, but thats just me. That way you can save and have a safety net if things get wet and wild while still retaining your independance.

Its totally normal to keep expecting your parents input and approval for everything right out of college i think, just cause thats what your used to, but eventually that'll go away. Its just an adjustment period to a new normalcy.

Really id look at it from the viewpoint of, are you more likely to keep up with looking for the job under high pressure, low pressure, or no pressure (im making some very sweeping assumptions here about your home life, forgive me if im wrong. I mostly mean no pressure financially??? Or something) conditions?

 

I have never experienced financial pressure, I have no clue how I react to it.
Social pressure I have to have like, a low pressure I'm finding. When I don't feel any pressure I don't really do much of anything (for a while anyways) but when I feel some pressure I do things. Too much pressure and I do nothing and am also miserable.

I also don't know for sure how much I want a career in animation in general??? So idk it might be nice to have more time to just work on my art and figure out what I wanna do with it long term. Idk. Life is complicated and I don't know how to do.

 

Hm, id say financial pressure feels like anything other kind, its just a thing you gotta do. I think everyone is kinda just tripping through life one day at a time even if they say they arent. life is like this annoying tangled yarn ball, every once in a while a snag or twist shows up with little to no warning. Sometimes you can even see it coming for ages and still not know how to untie it! Its normal, everybody has it happen, and its fine to be unsure. Its even fine to not be able to untangle it at all.

Um, i really can only give advice from personal experience, so the move in with a friend thing is just from a place of avoiding stagnation. Its totally fine to go at your own pace though! Theres no rush, despite what society might tell you, you dont gotta have everything magically figured out right out of college (though itd be super nice if it worked like that...) Just go with what feels right in the moment, and if nothing feels right, you can always flip a coin or something. You can always change your mind later.

 

Spoiler: parental stuff kinda, anxiety

I was supposed to take the car in to get serviced this morning at 8:30 (my parents are out of town). I set several alarms because my executive functioning problems make it very hard for me to get up early. I woke up when my first alarm went off but went back to sleep accidentally. I got a text from my mom at 8:40ish asking me if I was there, and I panicked and said yes, planning to get there late.
I woke up again at noon.
What do I do?

 

I'll have to call them. Hopefully they won't charge for the missed appointment time D:

 

ok so
1. i requested off work weeks in advance because i was planning on traveling
2. i was approved for the day off
3. i was assigned twice as much work as usual on the day i had requested off
4. i am no longer traveling that day so i can technically do the work and i want the money so im going to

should i just turn the work in without comment? and that if i couldn't do it that i would just email him right away like "no i cant do it, you approved this was okay"?
or should i note that i had requested off but that plans changed? in the future is it a good bet to just like, remind this client a lot about upcoming time off?

 

Do the work without comment. Pointing out that you were approved time off will just make them mad at you for pointing out that they screwed up. It will be your fault because *train noise* (it really sounds like train noise when they start with the excuses why they can't be wrong).
They know what they did.

 

What do I wear to a full honors military funeral for a decorated officer? I'm a civilian woman and okay with feminine-coded clothing. I'd ideally like to look classy while not drawing attention to myself.

Just, one of the surviving relatives is freaking out a bit about guests dressing appropriately. And this is not a time and place where I'm remotely inclined to want to argue about the true meaning of whatever.

I'm probably going to have to shop for an outfit. I'm thinking conservatively cut solid black dress if possible. Anyone have any advice or comments? Oh dear, how do you accessorize for a funeral? Shoes, jewelry, makeup, oh no also purses. I'm probably gonna have to buy a purse because I hate them and don't have a good selection. What do you do with your hair if it's too long to just leave down unless you want that to be the focus of your look, which I kinda don't on the principle of not drawing a lot of attention? (Why did I think this was a reasonable idea? Welp, too late now.)

I'm availing myself of the wisdom of google but I'm a little overwhelmed. Most of the advice I've found is either so generic it could have been written by someone who has never been to a funeral, or way too specific to help with any coherent overall plan.

Help! Even just moral support would be welcome.

 

I don't know too much, but for long hair might a braid work? It looks neat and out of the way, and not very noticeable, I don't think?

 

Definitely offering moral support! Shopping for anything that's not just jeans + shirts is stressful for me. I had to buy "business casual" for my grad school visits and it was Hell.

Definitely agreeing with the idea of a solid, conservative black dress, I think it fits the situation well. Otherwise, maybe a conservative skirt/pants + blazer, in black? You could also do a blazer or other top over a dress. Other muted tones might work as well (navy, charcoal, etc.), although if it's a more, uh, formal setting, black would probably be safest. I would think you would want a dress/skirt that covers the knees, and probably at least short sleeves, if not longer. I would say try to avoid lace, ruffles, and excessive embellishments.

In regards to shoes: neutral or black flats or low pumps would probably be best, once again without too much embellishment. Tall heels are probably a no-go, and obviously sneakers wouldn't work.

Jewelry: Minimal. Small stud earrings or simple hoops if you wear earrings, a simple necklace, a ring if you wear one. Silver/silver-look is subtle and tasteful. (Not saying gold is a no-go, but I think silver goes well with the black.)

Makeup: I think subtle is probably best here too if you choose to wear makeup. I would use fairly neutral/"quiet" shades for eyeshadow, eyeliner, lipstick, whatever.

Purse: A small black purse or clutch would probably be best, with enough room for any essentials you might need. Probably a big tote would be inappropriate.

Hair: I second the idea of a braid, although I've had very short hair for like 12 years (with one break six years ago) so I'm really out of my depth here.

 

I'd recommend a bun, possibly? a braid or a Really Sober Bun (think ballerina, but without the scrunchies/tiaras/what have you)
Black is always a good choice, and if you get a Very Simple One you can reuse it later/elsewhere—I personally will sometimes recommend a little cardigan over it if the climate will allow?
re: purses, something that's also black or a darker color would be a good option, I'd get something a bit smaller (no totes), and for jewelry, you can Generally get away with A Simple Necklace, if you're not a big jewelry fan (which also helps with the Not Drawing Attention)

back to purses, if you go for something that's more matte (no shinies, maybe leather?), it'll help with the No Attention bit too I think

 

Conservative black dress sounds good. For a purse i would suggest going with a simple design, ideally one you don´t mind too much.
For hair i would suggest putting is up in a simple bun.

 

Also, a dark colored/black shawl is a good way to cover the shoulders if you can't find a nice dress with much shoulder coverage! and tends to make you look fancy

 

Thank you all so much! I feel a lot better about the whole thing. I guess I better get to the store and find myself a dress I can work with, so that I can, well, work with it. I have a much better idea about what I'm going for now, which is really helping my peace of mind.

 

Hi,
This is a sub-account, and I don't post that much anyway, but I just want to hide a bit.

So I've been married almost five years, and I only really ever dated two people, both men. I dated my husband almost six years before we got married. About two years ago, I came out to my husband and closest friends as agender (I'm AFAB).

Over the last year, I've come to realize I'm bisexual. I haven't come out to my husband yet, and I am not sure that I ought to. I'm happy married to him, and I don't really have an interest in seeking out a lady to experiment with, but at the same time, I think he deserves to know.

Thouhgts?

 

@theGoodSaltWitch I don't think you owe it to him or anything, but I think it's a good idea to tell significant others when you find out important things about yourself. If it's important to you, it's probably also gonna be important to him!

 

I was in a similar situation (although we only got married last December, we've been a serious, committed couple for ~9 years). I sort of came out by accident, in fact! It went well (he's also bisexual, which I'd known since before we started dating).

I don't think you're obligated to tell him or anything, but definitely agree with @prismaticvoid.

 

Yup - @prismaticvoid is pretty on target. Said the things just to be open. Partners that care will appreciate the openness.