Super General Advice (the thread for advice without making a thread)

So, I want to write a letter of gratitude to my mom, but have no idea where to start. When I say letter of gratitude I'm not thinking a thank you note, I mean the more formal write and then read aloud sort of thing.

Trouble is, I've no idea how to do this. What do LoG usually have in them? I mean obviously thanks and stuff but I'm not sure what else there needs to be, or how it needs formatted or anything.

 

I think authenticity and sincerity are the top important things. Don’t try to sound like someone other than yourself, albeit yourself at your most polite and polished. Don’t write anything you don’t truly mean in your heart even if it sounds good. It’s better to be real than achieve perfection of form, if it comes down to it. This is a deeply personal message between two people. Don’t let formatting concerns make you to lose sight of that, or it will be a very pretty shell with no heart. (Your mother will probably treasure it regardless. Sometimes it really actually is the thought that counts.)

Spoiler: an suggestion

Unless there are additional cultural rules for letters in play, the standard personal letter format should work. “Dear mom,” with a comma and not a colon. (I’d say use whatever you normally call her and not try to make it more formal, or it will sound distant.)

If you’re able, I’d suggest handwriting on nice stationery with a pen. Indent the first line of each paragraph. A page is probably a good length, though it need not be that long. Try not to exceed two pages unless you feel the situation calls for it. Then go for it. Don’t write on the back of nice stationery with a pen; it tends to bleed through.

Very loose content suggestion would be to open the letter by explaining its purpose (expressing gratitude): You have always been there for me... Further assertions that would support the thesis that gratitude is called for. Statement of gratitude.

Elaborate on a few specific examples in further paragraphs.

This is a challenge, but for maximum effect, choose examples that you have a good reason to believe will be meaningful/emotional for her. Make sure they’re also emotional for you. That’s very important for the particular structure I’m advising here. Choose and order your examples to create an emotional trajectory. That is how you’re gonna arrive naturally at a super poignant conclusion.

For the conclusion, let the emotional arc of the letter take center stage. Write about the feelings, and any thoughts and epiphanies they bring. Here more than anywhere else, be nothing but sincere, and no one but your honest self. Say something both real and wonderful.

(You may or may not want to add a brief gentle emotional deescalation paragraph after the conclusion. Conclusion II. Far less emotionally loaded statements, maybe a touch of very gentle, kind humor about the two of you.)

Love,
[name]

Draft, then proofread thoroughly before setting pen to paper. (If handwriting is not feasible, perhaps someone has suggestions for creating an attractive printed letter.)

 

Business cards would be dependent on bulk, but if you’re printing them yourself... I think the rates in the printshop I worked at were something like $150-$250 depending on how much time was spent consulting on design? Looking up printing shops and graphic artists in your area might give you a better idea of rates now.

 

Spoiler: food/diet related

I eat too much junk food and I'm wondering if it's because I'm not getting enough nutrition at mealtimes. Should I try keeping a list for a while and see if there are actually any deficiencies?

 

Spoiler

It would be a good idea! Noticing the time is good too; I know that I tend to eat junk midmorning if I didn't get a good breakfast

 

Spoiler: slightly different take

It will likely be difficult for you to tell if you actually have any vitamin deficiencies just by keeping a record, especially if you're preparing food from basic ingredients, because the nutrient content is going to vary from item to item and portion sizes can be difficult to determine. The best way would probably be to get blood testing (I know they have tests for iron and vitamins A and D because that's what I'm always getting tested for deficiency in, but I'm sure that there are tests for others as well), or just talk to your doctor about it. Or maybe someone with specific training in nutrition and whatnot, if you don't necessarily trust your doctor's ideas about eating and health.

 

Spoiler

oh, yeah, actual vitamin deficiencies would be hard to diagnose this way, but it could be useful to track major food groups and stuff like fiber intake.

 

I have dandruff in my eyebrows and my eyebrows alone :X and putting a dab of moisturizer or dry skin shampoo on them accomplishes two things- one, they burn, and two, they become MORE flaky.

any quick tips? it's driving me batshit :X

 

Have you tried tea tree oil shampoo? That works for the scalp dandruff I sometimes get, anyway. Alternatively, if your skin is too sensitive for moisturizers, I sometimes use straight up oil on my dry skin and it’s worked alright (though in my case it’s to fight eczema, not dandruff). Coconut or almond oil for preference, but I think olive or even canola would also be fine.

 

I have a really painful infection in the little corner of skin where my wisdom tooth didn't come all the way through. This has happened before, and while it's happening it makes it hard to eat or sleep. Is it worth asking my dentist about having my wisdom teeth out entirely over this? There seem to be a lot of complications the procedure can cause and I don't want to make things worse.

 

I'd say if it's affecting your life that dramatically you should at least talk to a doctor, especially if you have an infection. That's definitely not something you should leave alone.

If you do end up getting them pulled, I recommend local anesthesia instead of general, just because it costs less, and (for me personally) it helps a lot to be awake making sure things go smoothly.

 

I had a fairly bad experience with getting my wisdom teeth out, but it was absolutely due to my oral surgeon in particular. I'd say it's worth talking to your dentist about, at least.

 

Spoiler: surgical

Is it possible to just get that little pocket of gum snipped/restructured? Seems like some minor flesh surgery would be easier.

 

I don’t see any harm in asking your dentist about it. They would be the best person to have a look and give you a professional recommendation as well as a rundown of your options. If you have specific questions and concerns, I’d suggest writing them down and bringing them with you to the appointment, then also writing down the answers.

(If you’re concerned about the dentist being annoyed about questions, a lot of people respond pretty well if you appeal to their expertise, which is exactly what you would be there for anyway. A dental surgeon would have put a lot of time and effort into their education, and this is also what they do all day. It’s nice to have your effort and opinions appreciated.)

 

I had a really good experience with getting my wisdom teeth extracted, and mine was an involved procedure

Spoiler: Surgery details

I have impossibly twisty roots and they had to shave some of the bone off my jaw in order to dig out the teeth. I still have the teeth in a jar somewhere.

In my experience with NHS dentists, they're unlikely to encourage you to do any non-essential work at all. Different story if you can fork out for private coverage, or augment the NHS coverage.