Super General Advice (the thread for advice without making a thread)

Searching for "pomodoro" is getting me a lot of different results; is there a specific program or extension you meant?

 

Leechblock has an option to delay instead of block, so you have to wait through a timer before it shows the page, if that would help.

 

Unfortunately not, but good to know.

 

Pomodoro timer, it's a Chrome extension.

 

I used it a lot when I was in college to block all my distraction sites but still allow me to do Google searches.

 

Ah, I see. I don't use Chrome and would need a whitelist-based blocker, unfortunately, so that one looks like a no-go, but thanks!

 

I wanna come out to my family this year. I don't know how much they know about nonbinary identities. My mum's said before that she's cool with me using email or IM to explain things I'm not comfortable saying in front of her; is that a wise way to do it? I can also send her links to what I'm talking about if necessary that way. Is it a good idea to come out to one person at a time? I think that would be easier than doing it all at once. Speaking of, what should I do about coming out to my dance class? It's a very female style but they have invited one or two guys vetted by members to join, so they should be okay with me still being there, but they're all white small-town cishet mothers and I'm not sure how well they'll take NB-ness.

 

It sounds like your mom is likely to be pretty cool about this? Personally, especially since you got the explicit go ahead, I think using email is great because it also allows you to directly link her to things.

The one person at a time thing I feel like kind of depends. If there are people who you think would be likely to take it better, I suggest coming out to them privately first. That way you build up a bit of support for yourself. Also, rather than assuming knowledge or lack thereof, I suggest asking "hey how much do you know about nonbinary trans people?". This kind of bridges gaps a bit. Also, it's a good temperature gauge for how people might react. If poorly to the point that you feel uncomfortable or even unsafe, you can deflect by going "oh yeah because my one friend started talking to me about thinking they might be and I wanted to talk to you guys about it because it's new to me" or something similar.

The dance class one is uh. Harder. Are you relatively close to these people? Or is it more like you're classmates?

 

More like classmates. I chat to them but we don't exactly share our deepest secrets.

 

Yeah, I don't really have anything for that one sadly. For me it was always just kind of "do it or don't" though lol you couldn't pay me to have come out as trans to them, it was purely about sexuality.

 

I personally wouldn't come out to the dance class because I have no faith in small-town cishet mothers to actually be decent about this tbh. It's your choice though! I just would personally consider the risk to not be worth the reward on that one.

 

I know at least most of them are fine about gay people, but not sure how they'd take this.

 

What's a good way to deal with family members being unreasonably offended by stupid things, as I discussed in my "right to be upset" Brainbent thread? What I WANT to do is say the most hurtful thing I can possibly think of in response but I know that won't actually solve anything. Where's the line of "assertive" versus "nuclear" here?

 

It’s impossible to be sure from this distance, but what it sounds like to me is someone who understands everything painful in terms of blame. To a person like that, your expression of anything negative is received as if it were an accusation. Because blame is everything, the only defense is to try to deflect the blame back on you.

So pretty much it sounds like an incredibly verbose version of “No you!”

As for what to do, that honestly sounds like something to work with a therapist over if possible. It’s an established pattern and those can be really hard to break out of.

As far as advice, the best I have is this: my psychiatrist told me, when the alligator comes in the door, go out the window. People who are very upset are not going to be able to have a useful discussion with you. They simply can’t do it. As far as possible, physically removing yourself from the situation as soon as you can is a valid and useful response to that kind of aggressive behavior.

 

I need to get some new insoles for my new boots. Does anyone know what brand is best for arch support?

 

My usb stick with, among other things, some passwords, may be dead. it was fine between 1 and 2 years ago. Does anyone know if its actually possible to get the files off of it, or is it truly fucked if it's not even showing up in the device manager or disk manager?

 

Idiomie says probably fucked.

 

:( thank you, rip in pieces my files.

 

Does anyone know what kind of jobs in the 'sorting items' category there remains for humans to do in first world countries?

This is kind of a complicated one, because while I want to start trying actual paying jobs at the lowest possible level because I have no qualifications higher than a GSCE, my level of brainweird means that retail that involves any kind of customer service is a massive no for me and my hypermobile ass means I can't stay on my feet for more than half an hour at a time.

Bonus points, I am ADHD ridiculously terrible at sitting down and staring at a screen for long periods of time.

Physically sorting items while being sat down would be my ideal world, but I feel like that's always done by robots these days??? D:

I'm terrified of the concept of work in a capitalist society so feel free to call me a choosing beggar but I'm very stressed about trying to find a job I won't immediately getting fired at.

Plz halp D:

 

Maybe look at retail shops that need backroom stock sorting? When I worked at Victoria's Secret there were a few people who only came in in the morning 6am-2:30pm shift wherein all they did was unbox product and sort it. Sometimes they would sort stuff on the floor and be expected to do some of the floor and retail duties, but I expect in bigger stores there may be just warehouse sorting people as well. One of my friends also worked at a Goodwill for a few months where as far as I could gather she mostly sorted and price-labeled the donations instead of working on the floor. Asking around for jobs like that might be a fair lead, though it might be hard to find one where the stock stuff is exclusively what you do, instead of a mix of stock and customer service, but it's a possibility