Super General Advice (the thread for advice without making a thread)

I can't find a recording headset which actually works with my computer and I've had to return multiple sets - either the computer doesn't pick up that it's there or it only records a tiddly little whisper even with all the volume controls at max. Ones which work must exist, but I don't know which ones they are. Does anyone have any decent recs?

 

did you double-check your computer was actually using the microphone from the headset, and not the computer's microphone or something bizarre and Not A Microphone? Also, what recording software are you using, and do other audio-input-receiving things like voicechat also get only a tiddly little whisper? Do you have a software or hardware voice compressor or something that's been set to an extremely low maximum volume by mistake?

 

we are going to view a house for the first time tonight! (looking at it to consider buying it). does anyone have advice? what should we look for? what questions should we ask? this feels way more high stakes than viewing apartments has been in the past.

 

I haven't gone house shopping but a few of my relatives are real estate agents so I've heard some bits and pieces. Some of what I know is probably meant for further in the process than first look, though. Please enjoy a ramble and do not be alarmed:

Like apartments, really take the chance to look around. Imagine how your arrangement of the space might go, like if there's any uncomfortable sections that would worsen your days (cramped kitchen, scary basement stairs, etc).

Look for signs of staining in ceilings, sagging floors, and other indications of structural decay. Pay attention to alarming mystery smells, and whether there's extra bathrooms or bedrooms that weren't mentioned in the listing - it doesn't happen a lot, but sometimes people do secret renovations off the book and don't have a professional overseeing it. Big difference with apartment and house is being responsible for fixing things once you own it.

"How old is the roof" is important. Bad roof means leaks and drafts, structural damage and difficulty controlling the temperature. 20 years is the max where I'm from, really you want it to only be a few years old. If it's more then a decade, or shows visible signs of wear and tear, ask if they'll be replacing it before the sale. If no, they better knock off several thousand to help you budget to do it.

"Why are you selling / how long has this listing been on the market?" If it's been on the market a long time and their answers feel like a politican, either they're pricing way too high or there's something about the house, the neighborhood, or something else that's discouraging other buyers. Not necessarily a deal breaker for you, depending what it is, but you'll want to figure it out and see if the price can't be made more reasonable. If it's just gone up for sale, they probably won't haggle much.

"Is the water from a well or the city?" Well water can be fresher, but if the power goes out it's off, and you have to maintain its condition. City water is at least theoretically taken care for you, but you have to pay the water bill. I forget off the top of my head whether they normally test the water before offering the sale, or if they leave that for more serious potential buyers to do partway through. Probably worth asking about. Interested buyers should have the option to come along when the house is officially inspected, but normal inspections don't check for everything, like radon, so you may have to get a followup, or a test kit yourself.

You'll want to know if there's a Homeowner's Association, they tend to have fees and rules about the presentation of homes to protect their own property values. Some HOAs are nitpicky convservative assholes, others are less so.

It's worth asking point blank if there's any concerns or problems with the house that need repairs; if they lie, they're probably lying about more than that, and if they'r honest, you have the chance to check it out and see if fixing it seems doable with your budget.

 

Foundation's a big one, definitely ask about that. Also age of house, when's the last time any wiring and plumbing has been inspected or updated. Ask for a copy of inspection if they have one, and if it applies, a pet policy.

Another thing is heating and cooling, and insulation. Ask if the house has central air and heat or if you're going to have to invest in window units, and what type of insulation is in place.

Check things like locks, windows, and outlets for disrepair; all of these things aren't terribly difficult to repair but really need consideration when purchasing a house. Locks and outlets of course for safety, and a crooked, improperly sealed, and/or drafty window is not only a hassle it can also be a sign of a janked up foundation.

Look into if the neighborhood has an HOA (home owner's association), as that would be an extra expense to consider as well as a standard you'd have to keep up with (stereotypically it's yard stuff and noise level related)

Check the laundry machine outlets if that's an option so you can purchase the right kind of hook ups. Not as hard as it seems if you're usa bound, there's standardly only two pronged outlets or three pronged depending on age of house.

Overall pay attention to cleanliness as well, if the seller is willing to show you a sloppy house they may have skimped out elsewhere as well

Sorry if this isn't super helpful, this is just personal experience and a smidge of my grandma's realtor experience.

 

Also good to look at furnace age too(internet says a well taken care of one can last 15-30 years. Should be serviced yearly ideally). The only other advice I would add is know what you like. Like sun and house plants? Check for large windows and good sun access. Heavy electronics user? Check for adequate plugs. Think about every place you ever lived and what you hated most and avoid that xD

Oh! And imagine cleaning whatever you buy. Most people don’t think about it, but fancy intricate detail work on trim or whatever is real pretty til you have to clean it and all those little nodules are a pain in the ass to keep looking nice. Floors need swept/vacuumed/mopped. Anything textured is a pain in the ass. Know your counter tops; marble is nice but not all cleaning products are safe to use to clean it. White shows dirt easily and needs cleaned regularly to look nice, while darker colors will hide dirt and you don’t have to stay on top of cleaning as much for it to look decent.

 

Per the countertop thing, just for the sake of devilment: I honestly regard the advice I got to get darker counters so they wouldn't show dirt so much as some of the worst housekeeping advice I ever got, because I have ADHD and my husband is not the best at cleaning up after himself and oh my fuck do I hate hate hate the sensation of putting my hand directly into a patch of conveniently-disguised crumb or gack. Like I would take 10x the frequency of cleaning over that sensation. Dark or speckled surfaces are also a lot harder to see where you've cleaned. Stainless steel is a bastard to maintain at maximum shiny brightness, but at least you can see it's clean close to 100% of the time.

Get a vacuum dust attachment for all trims, regardless of fanciness.

Absolutely agree with checking the location and frequency of power outlets, a lack of those will take a heavy toll on your sanity.

Check land boundaries are delineated clearly on the property deeds. This will cause problems later on if you have a neighbourly dispute.

 

Strong agree. Like, I would totes do white for kitchen counters, but like never for carpet. Or any flooring tbh. Color is just a thing to be aware of for your cleaning habits, what ever they be.

 

My friend's mom has a huge white area rug, thick shag, that she frets over so much that its an active trigger for her if anyone gets within like two feet of it. You can't even bring a closed water bottle in the same room, its nuts. But yeah white is a huge no mostly

 

Our offer on the house wasn't accepted sadly, but all this info will keep being helpful on our ongoing search! thank you all so much :)

 

Trying to give advice to a teen on another site who's trying to leave his shitty parents. Anyone have anything I can link to about how to like, avoid being tracked and keep abusers from finding information? His mom found his last plan to leave.

Eta: doesnt seem thats the issue, nvm

 

Is it normal to randomly have no appetite for no reason some days, or should I be worried?

 

If you usually eat a normal amount and your body's food clock works normally, yes. If you're kind of bad about eating consistently or generally eat less than you should, also yes. Appetite is one of the first urges to "go" if it's not maintained by eating properly.

The upside is, it could just be a flu or some minor inflammation. Try making sure you eat enough, tho, that can only help.

 

Loss of appetite can be symptom of various illnesses, but it is also a coping mechanism for poor eating. Basically, your body will ring the “time to eat” bell for a period of time, and if you ignore it, it will stop ringing because clearly the ringing isn’t causing food to happen. It then activates “conserve energy” mode. Eating regularly in the morning(within I think an hour of waking) will prime your body to expect and get food. It basically gets your metabolism going. If you skip eating in the morning, you are significantly less likely to get hunger signaling regularly.

Lack of appetite in itself is not generally a sign of concern, but it can be associated with a bazillion of things; medication, abdominal stress, flu/diseases. Lack of appetite can lead to lots of ungood things as well; malnutrition, weight gain, fatigue. So it is highly recommended to make sure you eat regularly, even if you lack appetite. Food gives your body energy to fight off illnesses if you have any. It also helps regulate signals so that your body expects a certain level of care and it can easily communicate with you if something is off. Ignored body signals doesn’t mean there isn’t a problem, it just means you aren’t hearing if there is one.

 

As well as what's already been said, I find that if I'm acutely stressed it can kill my appetite.

 

Sleep and appetite seem to be very closely linked. Which, now that I think about it, maybe should not be even remotely surprising to me since I know of an actual neurotransmitter that promotes both wakefulness and appetite. (It’s orexin.) If something disturbs your body clock, it may well be off kilter for days. It’s important to pay special attention to keeping hydrated, since you’re getting less water from food, as well as any beverages you may tend to drink while eating.

 

[Sorry wrong thread snippee I'm so fool]

 

Does anyone have advice for finding/working with a therapist when you're self-dx autistic? Like, I do not need help with autism related things, but autism does frame most of the ways I interact with the world so not disclosing in therapy seems like a good way to waste my time and money, but I don't know if or how to find therapists who would respect self-dx.

 

I don't have any advice on where to look for therapists who meet those criteria, but when it comes to assessing whether a therapist is a good fit, I'd just make it one of the questions you ask upfront? Something like "I'm autistic, and while I'm not looking for help with that specifically, it does inform a lot of how I interact with the world; do you have experience working with autistic clients?" or "I'm autistic, though not officially diagnosed; I'm only looking for help with [other things], but it's important to me to have a therapist who will respect that and take it into account when working with me" is just as reasonable a question as "I work long hours, are you available weekends?" or "I'm trans and need a therapist who will respect that and not misgender me".

 

cleaning question - I just noticed that the inside of my den windows have a strange grainy coating or residue on them. It covers almost all of the right half of the windows behind my computer monitor, a bit of the left half, and a little bit on the windows on the other side of the room. I can feel it as a texture under my fingers when I touch it

I keep the window blinds closed most of the time so I'm not sure how long that stuff's been there or what it is or why it likes certain parts of the window more, but I want to clean it and windex and paper towels is having zero effect :< and when I try to google it it's nothing but results about windows condensing or fogging which definitely isn't the case here. any recommendations?