Discussion in 'General Advice' started by paladinkit, Jul 18, 2016.
I have that thing and it is terrible, so many sympathies to you D:
This is 100% a thing for me. Also, I have this honour system thing where if it's something without a definite end, I can't stop unless I have done thing for a Good amount of time, which has been kicking my ass now I'm trying to exercise again. 'oh god i'm gonna die but i need to go up to to 10/15/20 minutes i can't just stop'
I, too, do this thing, on both a micro and a macro level.
Nate's sick and there were other dishes I'd needed to do.. and I needed to get him food/water/medicine and get myself food once the dishes were loaded. Managed all but feeding myself because my legs started giving the hell out and colors were flashing the "you are going to lose vision soon, pls sit the fuck down" so I've been patiently (lmfao what is patience) laying down waiting to feel confident enough to make some ramen or something for myself to get my salt in and to use the bathroom.
teeny victories but at what cost, man.
yes... all the time x.x
*crawls into this thread, lies down*
I don't know if I'm disabled exactly, but the degree to which my depression is fucking with me affects my day to day life. My anxiety is mostly under control; it mostly rears up under stressful situations instead of for inconsequential things (ex: I have to mail a letter? Time to feel sick for hours.). My psychologist thinks I have mild ADD, we're gonna see about getting that treated this fall. I have pain in my neck, shoulders, and right arm frequently, but I am not dealing with that right now.
The vegetative aspects of the depression have gotten really bad lately. I'm sleeping 12+ hours a day, and when I'm not sleeping, I don't have the energy to peel myself out of bed. Today it took me 7 hours (with a nap in the middle) to get up to go to the bathroom.
I've successfully worked and could do it again if someone would give me a fucking job. Aspergers' and chronic insomnia mean I don't come off well in interviews, and my degree is useless without a driver's licence which I'm incapable of getting because of coordination and concentration problems plus lack of work means I'll never be able to afford a car.
Today's achievement: I showered!! I am now Clean. I am also now Exhausted but at least I'm clean and exhausted. Gods I really wish these everyday activities didn't take so much out of me though.
I feel this.
I am so tired right now and all I did was swim for five minutes and shower.
Has anyone discovered a way to ask for help that doesn't immediately make you want to gnaw your own arm off as a viable alternative? BC so far any time I have to admit I need help and ask for help I'd rather do the arm gnawing tbh.
@TheMockingCrows I know what you mean. I guess if I really need help I supplement it with incessant apologizing and trying to think of ways I can repay for their kindness to help me. x.x
.______. That's what I do when I absolutely need the help, but it's getting awkward. the only person I'm ever around is Nate, and the constant apologizing makes him uncomfortable, but I haven't found a way to lessen it without feeling guilty.. and having to ask for help from others is even harder bc I've got no idea how to repay them. @W@ at least with Nate I know all the things he likes or can just share snacks or something.
I just. struggle and fail. I don't ask for help. so...unfortunately I cannot be of help to you :c I am sorry.
Asking for help is a skill that needs to be learned, just like riding a bike I have found. Over the past two years I have found it increasingly easier to ask for help, but I think in my case it helps that I have designated helper persons.
Not being able to do everything on your own is a sucky feeling.
It works for me bc my sister, who is my most frequent helper person, has specifically begged me to let them do tasks for me - that it helps them feel useful. Still, it took almost a year of them insisting for me to be able to stick to the habit of asking for help when I need it, and I still feel guilty sometimes and on my worst days get stuck and unable to ask.
God I really need support in doing All The Fucking Things for grad school before classes start and I just.. am overwhelmed. I'm hoping by focusing on building furniture for my new room and finally unpacking properly I can think more clearer. I'm having a hard time adjusting and I think it's because my room is gross. But like who has spoons for anything? Ugh!!!
I got the dishwasher loaded, sprayed the stovetop with 409 to soak. I can't clean the little drip pans at all because it's so cooked/caked on and they're already ruined and stained. (Trying to get spouse to understand that it's a problem and if they've got stuff on them to wipe them down before you cook, but short of stapling a sign to his forehead, teaching his ADHD riddled butt new steps in his routines is a very slow process. D:) I've been drawing and writing each day, albeit in varying degrees.. I'm doing things. I should be proud of doing things, and I'm going to let myself be proud of doing things even if it's just fanart and fanfic and a few small chores that I can still handle.
:SHAKES MY ALMIGHTY FIST AT THE WHEELCHAIR THOUGH.: That went horribly and I'm still dealing with painful palms and fingers, my skin is just not dealing with that well at all. Anyone got any ideas that might help with wheeling about with bad hands? I'd need to grip easier, but i'd need padding too, and finding a middle ground of those things is rough. >:Ic
im doing a lot of:
trying to do creative things, but also being incredibly critical of myself which is making me sad and frustrated and also really not want to do the creative things. comparing myself to friends' successes in the same area and making myself feel like shit. havent actually finished a creative thing in a while. too long.
feel very much like a failure.
Just finding the right kind of glove might be a bit hard.. ono I need padding that doesn't slip, but grippy bits too. Maybe I'll shop around some medical sites..
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