Terrible original/published fiction?

Discussion in 'Fan Town' started by ChelG, Dec 20, 2016.

  1. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    We already have a bad fanfic thread, but I thought we needed one for the mind-bogglingly awful things which aren't fanfic. For kick-off, I bring you Maradonia and the Seven Bridges.
     
    • Like x 3
  2. Pumpkageist

    Pumpkageist Warning: I Shitpost

    mitunalocated.png

    I know Mituna is a word outside of Homestuck but I still lol'd. And that's one of the less ridiculous place names on that map.

    HIGH PLATEAU OF DEATH.
     
    Last edited: Dec 20, 2016
    • Like x 5
  3. Pumpkageist

    Pumpkageist Warning: I Shitpost

    .... That said, Tesch is still a marginally better writer than I was at 13.
     
  4. BaseDeltaZero

    BaseDeltaZero Shitposting all night.

    I've never encountered it in the wild, but eesh, Maradonia. Kinda got all the things you need to have an awful story, doesn't it...
     
  5. BunjyWunjy

    BunjyWunjy Frabjous

    thank you for sharing this
     
  6. BaseDeltaZero

    BaseDeltaZero Shitposting all night.

    Not Maradonia, but from the same website.
    He'z so kewl guyz.
     
    • Like x 9
  7. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Now I'm thinking of Sailor Moon: American Kitsune again.
     
  8. BaseDeltaZero

    BaseDeltaZero Shitposting all night.

    Oh?


    THAT'S NOT HOW METRIC WORKS.
     
    • Like x 3
  9. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    The completely impossible fight scene made me think of the stupid thing in the fanfic SM:AK where the hero manages to shoot a throne on the moon from the Earth with an ordinary shotgun.
     
  10. pixels

    pixels hiatus / only back to vent

    The Eye of Argon.

    purely original fiction, the glurgiest of sword-and-sorcerer "romances." sff conventions used to have contests where readers would get into a circle and figure out how long they could go without laughing. longest got a literal prize.

    i recommend reading from the link i provided, because otherwise you will not be able to make it through.
     
    • Like x 8
  11. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Oh God, yes! I love Theis. My favourite bit in the MSTing is when the bots decide that the "scarlet emerald" which drips green slime is a sign the author is colourblind. I don't know if he was, but I'm headcanoning that Grignr is. And I giggled at the "sometimes emeralds are grey!" line in Adventure Time.
     
    • Like x 1
    • Agree x 1
  12. garden

    garden lucid dreamer

    • Like x 8
  13. LadyNighteyes

    LadyNighteyes Wicked Witch of the Radiant Historia Fandom

    Ironically, scarlet emeralds do exist. They're just usually called red beryls.

    No such excuse for the guy who "flushes pale," though.
     
    • Like x 1
  14. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    And "pastily" lights up red later in the same sentence.
     
    • Like x 1
  15. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    quadrant blurring :P
     
    • Like x 6
  16. KarrinBlue

    KarrinBlue Magical Girl Intern

    So, once, in high school, I read a book written by a classmate of mine. The only reason I kept reading was because it was my friend's book but MAAAAN.

    i mean, it was pretty standard-boring fantasy. There was a little interesting stuff - the fantasy otherworld was described as being a very small world, which I thought was interesting, but. There were things like characters describing a wizard as being incredibly strong after seeing him do 1 thing and knowing nothing about other wizards or the magic system (the one thing he did could be the equivalent of a party trick!) and like.

    ok so there was the obligatory 1 female character love interest. and she was possessed or something by the bad guy at the beginning? and then got freed early on, but she kept being useless or worse throughout whatever the quest was. I thought it'd turn out she was still evil but no she is legitimately that useless.
     
    • Like x 2
  17. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Yeah, I had a friend in school who self-published a book and I was polite about it but it was awful. One character attempted to rape the heroine and then was brought along on the adventure like nothing happened, and the story seemed like it was going somewhere interesting but then it turned into a Twenty Bear Asses quest to find all the prophecied adventurers and it just dragged onnnnn and onnnnnnnnn and by the end of the book they still hadn't got round to doing anything...
     
  18. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    omfg

    that sounds like a term for a fetch quest, but... omfg
     
    • Like x 2
  19. LadyNighteyes

    LadyNighteyes Wicked Witch of the Radiant Historia Fandom

    As far as I know TVtropes made it up.
     
  20. ChelG

    ChelG Well-Known Member

    Yeah, that was what I meant.
     
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