Discussion in 'Fan Town' started by ChelG, Dec 20, 2016.
Which was the good one?
Yeah, it feels like it's to do with the general age group of the people on there. They tend to skew very young, and I have found they generally have neither the skill nor the life experience to back up their ideas. Some of the things I find there are things that are very much like stuff I wrote when I was thirteen and it just makes me cringe in the same way I cringe when I read stuff I wrote in my teens :P
So, um, as I may have mentioned once of twice, I have something of a special interest in the life and times of the historical Vlad III Dracula.
But I'm pretty sure that even if I didn't, this would still be one of the worst things I've ever read. (I did not pay money for it; all 100+ chapters are available here. Also it's unfinished, because apparently the author is dead. So I guess I can say whatever I want about her story, because she'll never see it.)
The historical inaccuracies are GLARING (I can elaborate if asked). The author admits to not having done any research until chapter fucking FIVE. The characters are horrible. The misogyny is unbelievable (and don't forget the racism!). The repeated rape and torture scenes are purely gratuitous. There are notes from the beta reader left in the text. I don't understand why people are giving this so many stars on Goodreads unless they have literally never read any other works of fiction in their lives.
Oh, and Dracula's name is spelled wrong throughout.
It's so bad. IT'S SO BAD. I don't understand how someone could write something that bad by accident. I CONSIDER THIS A PERSONAL INSULT.
(On a side note, if you've read it, did you have any thoughts on Dan Simmons' Children of the Night in terms of historical accuracy? Just curious.)
Oh my god it's a gay romance novel.
YOU ASKED FOR IT
Okay, super quick rundown of a few things that made me tear my hair out most.
#1: Vlad III Dracula was voivode (ruler) of Wallachia (not Romania, because Romania didn't exist until the 1800s). The author refers to Dracula as a count for five chapters. She also thinks Wallachia and Transylvania are the same place.
#2: Dracula had a real-life tragic backstory—he (and his younger brother Radu) spent several years as hostages of the Ottoman Empire, and his father and older brother died violent deaths during that time, which tbh is probably a big part of what fucked him up so bad, and then there was much drama with taking the throne of Wallachia and then losing it and then taking it back and so on and so forth (which actually continued for the rest of Dracula's life). None of this is in the story, although it would go a long way to making Dracula more sympathetic.
#3: The author appears to believe "Dracula" (although she spells it "Draculea" because I think she thought that was ~more authentic~ even though no one has ever spelled it that way and the man himself spelled it "Drakulya") is a surname. It is not. It is a title, meaning "Son of the Dragon", after his dad, Vlad II Dracul, who was a member of the Order of the Dragon. Oh, and "Tepes" is a nickname, not part of his actual name.
#4: There's very little known about Dracula's wives (he had two, we think), but what is known bears no relation to anything in the story. Also, he had three kids.
#5: The author genuinely seems to believe that all her characters are speaking English. There's a Wallachian prostitute in the story named Jane.
There's more, believe me. ETA: Oh, and Dracula probably wasn't gay; I'd let that go as "artistic" license, but his brother Radu the Handsome, who was by all accounts bisexual, is right there…although not in the story, because the author didn't know he had brothers.
I have not read it! :0 I looked up a summary just now and it looks interesting, I'll have to check it out.
For certain values of "gay", "romance", and "novel"…
eta II: I realize no one cares about this as much as I do. But I care.
A couple years back I trawled through the archives of various romance novel review sites. One book sounded so terrible I just had to experience it for myself (via intellectual piracy, of course). It was everything the review promised and less.
Sadly I can't find the review that inspired me but here is the review of a more recent book by the same author, Her Stepbrothers Are Dragons. It has pretty much the same problems: characters who are terrible people, really badly handled "destined soulmates", and absolutely no editing at all.
ETA: FOUND IT
This is a gripe that's come up in a couple of different things; I read a lot of horror, and at least twice I've seen some 2edgy story where an Obviously Evil demon goes "HAHA JOKE'S ON YOU GOD IS ACTUALLY ME" and the human protag believes them without question despite the fact that they're Obviously Evil and are presenting no proof. Yeah, it's possibly true within the 'verse, but it's something I would demand some evidence of other than a simple statement from a being popularly known as the "Father of Lies". Can people at least know the basics of the monsters they're using?
RPGs count as fiction and here is a really bad one:
Spoiler: massive, massive racism
That. That sure is a thing.
Is that the one written by that dipshit black-metal dude that did the church burnings, or am I thinking of a different terrible RPG?
I don't know. "Black metal dude" makes me think of FATAL, which is a different game, but I don't recall anything about church burnings.
This page has a bunch of equally stupid RPGs.
I went and looked it up, apparently the dude I was thinking of is Varg Vikernes and /his/ terrible badly-written racist RPG is a thing called Myfarog, for Mythic Fantasy Roleplaying Game, and is is terrible.
Only thing there is that the weird ass bit about swimming and gales actually makes sense. It's the Beaufort wind scale, and it kinda makes sense to include in a game about vikings.
Why they didn't just write 'add wind scale value to difficulty' instead of listing everything, I dunno.
I can respect that kind of detail, shame it had to be mixed in with the racism.
FATAL is also kind of hilarious. It's stupid and offensive, but you get the impression it's supposed to be like that. It's more Edgelord than actual terrible. I mean, it's name is 'Fantasy Adventure To Adult Lechery'.
Not to say it isn't a bad game. It's an awful game, and not actually even good at edgelording.
I do 'fondly' remember Byron Hall's (the creator) counterargument to someone who called FATAL the 'Date Rape RPG'. Quote: "There are no rules for dating in FATAL."
all is fair in love and war and tabletop RPGs
It'd be really nice if there was some splatterpunk horror where poor rural Americans and/or disabled people got to be good guys for once. Come to think of it, anything with that criterion would be nice, but it's especially egregious there.
I seem to recall a horror-comedy movie where the backwoods hicks are the puzzled innocents and the college students convinced they're up to something nefarious are the actual bad guys, but I don't remember the title. :/
But yeah, feeling you on that one.
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