TFs: DARE TO BE STUPID

I haven't had the chance to test my robot recognition skills in the wild but

SAME

Although I am feeling grudging affection for Mixmaster, and I genuinely like the feel of his design and the insect shell thing they do with his cement mixer bits. And my comic affection for Barricade is translating to his bayverse version.

And I have gotten a mod and not a bot from the daily crystal for the last eight solid days I am about to scream GIVE ME ROBOTS I AM HERE FOR THE ROBOTS

 

......a cement mixer with the mixer part just ENTIRELY filled with booze, though. Forget smuggling bottles of alcohol into robot sporting events, just have Mixmaster drive on through in his alt mode, get everyone wasted

eta: i am also typing all my posts in the very brief intervals while I wait for my next fight to load because GOD AM I WEAK AGAINST SKINNER BOXES

 

The last mixtape madness, or whatever they call the soundwave events, I scraped and slaved to get a soundwave crystal. I didn't get a soundwave, but I did get a three-star bumblebee. I'm now replaying old missions and scraping together ore so I can feel him the ungodly amounts of junk he needs to buff up properly, and then I'm hoping I can get back into the stories again.

But the arena.... the arena is a cruel mistress. Play a three on three, with it getting harder and more stressful every round, until you finally lose. Lather, rinse, repeat A COUPLE DOZEN TIMES--

(sad things: I scraped together juuuuust enough for another featured bot crystal.... from the end of the soundwave event. I like ultra magnus, and I know my odds of getting the actual featured bot are low no matter what, and it's good to get a stronger stable of robots in general and build them up now, but............ soundwave.................)

 

I'm pretty sure they do! Because I fried myself on the first soundwave arena, it finished and moved onto some ~fight to win this mod~ arena and I was like thank god, free at last. And then they turned around and. More Soundwave ;u;

But I'm pretty sure they'll have to repeat, because they just don't have all that many bots showing up in this game, and the arenas only last for a few days

(and urgh, my alliance is dead, but it was never very alive, and I need to go find a new one, and I've got a pretty respectable account, but fffffffffff why do games force me to collaborate this is the opposite of why I am here)

 

I did the thing!!!

Also, I got a two-star barricade, and now.... I love my two-star windblade.... but I also love barricade............ even if he is my ugly bayverse son, I still love him. And he referenced g1 starscream's silly, bright paint job. But. But. Windblade.

eta: also the headshot they have of ultra magnus looks a LOT like he's got a big ol' mustache. Which is hilariously perfect, given minimus ambus. Even if it's wrong for ultra magnus. But..... it's kind of a seventies pornstashe. So. Consider: minimus ambus and/or dominus ambus with pornstaches. Good idea or best idea?

 

ultra pornstache magnus

 

ALSO I FORGOT TO SAY WORDS ABOUT THIS

Spoiler: LL5

All the latest ongoing issues have punched me right in the goddamn heart, I can't handle this for much longer :(

Nightbeat. Oh my GOD do I adore Nightbeat right now. I love him. I love him so much. Just look at him asking awkwardly forward personal questions to Nautica, saying the thing about 'no partners, but I am pretty unlikeable' and totally stumbling over it when she doesn't take the conversational bait ('.....silent howls of protest'), the whole thing with 'look at us, we're the cool ones' 'I thought we were the late ones', and the amazing AGONY faces he made while he was sitting around during the party. All these things! About how he's awkward and doesn't do people well and isn't naturally in step with the social dances!

And look at him being the one here who realizes someone needs to take Rung aside and give him someone to talk to!

It's the same thing Ratchet was trying to nudge Skids towards in issue 40.... and then Skids died. Probably while being the closest personal friend that Rung has. And Rung wasn't even there when it happened. He'd been pulled off on a side quest by Nightbeat and told he was someone who could be spared (so.... useless), also by Nightbeat, and even thought he was very insistent on turning around and going back in time to be there for the fight, their chronometers glitched and he missed it entirely. And Skids died. Just.... oh my god, I am so pleased to see one of my awkward, identifiable, favorite sons doing something for the son who I've been endlessly fretting over because nobody in-universe can see how he's drowning.

Well!! Nightbeat saw!!!! And Nightbeat also cut right past the social dance and got straight to the point. He was blunt and direct and hit Rung head-on. Rung isn't really the kind of person at all to impose on others, there isn't a chance in hell he would have brought this up all on his own, and I'm pretty sure that even if someone was vaguely asking if he was okay, he would have dodged, ducked, dipped, dived, and dodged. So I am. Really, really happy.

Also, I think it's very interesting how the comic keeps bringing up this stuff about function and purpose. Like, I'm not certain I can articulate this cleanly, though I might try to polish it up for a tumblr meta-type thing later. The functionists are brought up over and over as the archetypical oppressive cybertronian government. It comes up in flashback, it comes up in backstories, it comes up in time travel, and now it comes up in a whole parallel universe. They are the Bad Guys, functionism=bad.

But then you get the thing that Rung is saying here, about purpose. What's the point of living if you don't have a purpose? It came up with Overlord's purpose being to kill Megatron, which is a critical part of his motivations, but it's easy to miss how incredibly important it is to him when you read his story as part of the greater whole. Starscream holding on so tight to the idea that he can lead and he should lead is what keeps him going, and it's a central part of his character, but never laid out so explicitly. Whirl's purpose was taken from him, and he describes the heavies destroying his shop as them 'killing him'. So he shifts his center of self into being a Wrecker, and when Roadbuster kicks him out, his reaction is welp! time to die! :)

There's Ratchet, and the loss of his hands meaning he can't be a doctor anymore, and how much that rattles him. Ultra Magnus is adrift when he can't be a proper space cop anymore, and he falls the fuck apart. Rodimus has his parallels to Starscream with how badly he wants to be a good leader and how he struggles but keeps trying, because this is important. Optimus is majorly adrift and has no clue what to do with himself is like haha well I guess I'll go annex this planet now. Drift throws himself so hard into taking out Decepticons after he leaves the Lost Light, including all the self-punishment business with him refusing to maintain or repair himself. Ironhide is another person who is totally adrift. And Tarn........... oh Tarn [laugh track]

ANYWAYS. That's just what I'm thinking of off the top of my head. But function and purpose are such similar words, and functionism is constantly being portrayed as a negative force. But seriously, when mechs in this series lose whatever their purpose, that's when they start considering whether or not they even want to be alive anymore. I don't know how to conclude that. But this idea is nagging me real good.

Everything about the functionist cybertron arc is giving me Emotions. The things Rung is doing are incredible. The whole setup with the council being ornaments when Rung isn't one is incredible. Everything about nine-of-twelve's defection and the repercussions of that. The council destroying this entire city of refugees, even though it means admitting they're ornaments. And oh my god. The Megatron and Terminus stuff. I'm so [EMOTIONS]. I'm siding with Megatron here, and I don't want him slipping back into a position where he's leading a mass of people and deciding What Is Best, but the arguments Terminus is making about people needing him are just [worry worry anxious fret fret FRET]. I can't describe it any more coherently than that :V

And I don't know what I want to happen with this parallel universe!!!!!! If it poofs away, then.... poof. You thought you'd killed a lot of people before? Now you have killed an entire universe's worth of people, good job. If it stays on its own, I just don't know how they're supposed to rebuild. I mean, idealistically, sure! The oppressed take control and make the people happy and do everything right! That's how it goes, yeah? It never works out that when you have a massive transfer of power, the new government ever goes absolutely apeshit or anything, right??? Second verse, same as the first. So maybe, mmmmaybe I think that the quote-unquote best outcome is to merge them over, but I don't know if even Brainstorm can fudge science that far, a two-planet Cybertron system could be really interesting, but insanely complicated, never even mind what's going on in the rest of the universe (maybe they could move just cybertron with a geobomb?) I just kind of seriously doubt it would work. But my brain is just latched onto ooooh a planet with infrastructure, getting a complete matrix again, recovering their lost moon, OOOOOOOOH--

So yes. Not cleanly articulated at ALL XD

Also. GIVE ME KILLMASTER

I want Killmaster, and I want him NOW. I need a giant hulking scientist with a knack for mad violence. It's like Thunderwing, but slightly less mad science, and without that phase one quality storytelling. It's like TFA Shockwave. It's! Everything!!! I have ever wanted!!!!!!! I want a giant mad scientist who does a fight. I want him and his awesome space-displacement science having a party with Brainstorm's mad science ways. Maybe even also with Nightbeat's robo-sherlock-holmes thing! IMAGINE WHAT THEY COULD DO!

Every major player in this comic has gotten development and depth, even Overlord and Tarn. Even Pharma. If they could even fit in little bits of complexity for Pharma, I refuse to accept that Killmaster is this one-note convenient science + fighting plot convenience fairy. I need more. JRO, don't let me down now. Also, give me everything I've ever wanted, no I don't care if it would take multiple lifetimes for you to produce, you owe it to me right this instant :BBBB

Ummm what else. The Lug reveal hurts so good, but given the reveal that just happened with Rung and the crystals, she's gotta be coming back. We have three insanely rare elements that have all come into this story one right after the other. We have the crystallized sentio metallico. We have a blacksmith. And we have the spark containment crystals. Plus we have perfect, perfect backstory with how someone died under Anode's hands and how it eats at her, and this is a perfect mirror image. Also! She described Lug as BEAUTIFUL! They can't take this away from us now :C

OH. Functionist universe thing, though. I want want want to see more parallel people. I wants it. I've had a taste of anode and I want more! I don't know if Optimus Prime making a showing would be too-too obvious, given the conversation Megatron and Roller just had. It would be super fascinating to see him fighting for the functionists, though.

ACTUALLY, OKAY. So. In the comic, when Optimus finally snaps and confronts the Senate. He quotes Megatron's writing at them, including the bit with 'how can we get rid of you'. If Megatron and his writing wasn't around to influence Optimus, I mean.... maybe he never had that little nudge to break free of the establishment. He never read Megatron's work. Whirl never was sent to kill Megatron in prison, so there wasn't the whole incident that led to Optimus confronting the senate. It's very easy to get sucked in deeper and deeper when there isn't anything to shake you loose. You've been defending the establishment this far, so a little further basically makes no difference. And a little further. And a little further. And oh, suddenly it's full-on dystopian functionism, and you're a high-ranking officer crushing the rebels because it's the best way to keep the peace.

Honestly, I was going to lead into a thing about how I thought Rodimus was a likely parallel to pop up, but that's mostly because I'm still expecting his recolor to have some metatextual reason for happening, not just being limited to his in-comic motivations. But really, I think Optimus is most likely. Optimus is important to Megatron. And without bringing Optimus into POV as a main character, this is a pretty fricking solid way to show how important Megatron has been to Optimus. Even though it all turned so ugly and toxic, they shaped each other so, so much.

Lord, this wasn't supposed to be long at all, just a few paragraphs ;u;

Cyclonus encouraging Ten gives me life. I made a noise out loud when I read that. I am adoring Cyclonus is a leadership position. He's so self-contained and restrained, but when people need him, he just. And I. [ugly crying] But he's stepping up to teach Tailgate, protect Tailgate, help Whirl, help Swerve and Ten, he's doing so many good things! With people! I value him so much, and I am pinning way too many emotions on people in the comic valuing him too.

Also Swerve is not okay, somebody please follow up with Swerve.

(maybe swerve can be friends with killmaster. somebody bring killmaster into the front of this goddamn comic or i'm going to explode)

But. The thing that KILLED me. All these three ongoings that have destroyed me so bad, they're skipping RIGHT PAST THE MOST EMOTIONALLY FRAUGHT MOMENTS. And it's good storytelling. It's not getting bogged down in the heavy moments and moving on and letting things be inferred and having them affect future events in ways that make it pretty clear what went down, and it's making good use of your space and all. But. I'm dying here. They skipped Arcee processing everything with Sideswipe, we just get a single dialogue-free, thought-balloon-free panel of her by Sideswipe, distraught, with just her body language to inform us. They skipped the aftermath of the Titan battle, we don't get to see what happened to Windblade, we don't see Starscream reacting to the news of what happened to her, we go straight on to the reconstruction, where everything is tired and numb and we don't get to see the emotions running hot. And now! They skipped!!!! The conversation between Whirl and Tailgate!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm so upset! JRO! Why do you hurt me this way????

And see, this is the thing. With us seeing the conversation, you have to keep it compact and pack in allllll that weight of emotion. Which is a tricky balance, and it's going to weigh down the story for sure. But what we did get! Hurts me so bad!!!!!

So, okay. Time to read way too much into a single comic panel. Blah blah Whirl was obviously going to give Tailgate the bad news that Cyclonus has been hiding from him. And I am so sad we didn't even get a snippet, because I am still holding out that faint, faint hope that Rotorstorm and romantic feelings gets #confirmed. And I am sad that we don't get to see Tailgate's instantaneous emotional reaction, or how/if Whirl tries to comfort him. I'm leaning towards not-comforting-him as the response, but there's a particular kind of not-comforting that has such great OOMPH as its own kind of emotional reaction.

But Tailgate comes out, and in words, all he does is say hi to Cyclonus. But that two-handed grip on his arm. JUST. Reading too much, etc., etc. But that's a pretty gentle hold, while still keeping him close. He's basically hugging that arm to him, which is a pretty classic sort of seeking-comfort action. Also maybe something to be said about parallels to Rewind being casually draped over Chromedome's shoulders during that other scene.

But this is... how to put it. It's intimate, it's emotional, but it's restrained. That... really isn't an adjective I'd apply to Tailgate very often. Even in the early issues when he's lying away about his past and feeling totally out of his depth and still stinging from the realization that nobody cared when he disappeared originally. Even then, he's very open, enthusiastic, energetic, all that. Even in the aftermath of this battle, he's high-energy, and very open. He's showing off with Roller how strong he is and joking around. When the Decepticons beat up Cyclonus a bit, he goes RIGHT for them and is intimidating and angry and violent. And when Cyclonus tries to talk him down afterwards, he's still very angry and vocal, right up until he collapses.

Then he wakes up, he has one private conversation with Whirl, and he's this quiet.

I'm really parsing this as..... shock, if that makes sense. Like, after a car accident, when you're thinking that you should be upset, you should be aware, you should be responding to this, and you just feel all floaty and unreal. Tailgate adores Cyclonus so much, and he also just angrily brushed off what Cyclonus was telling him about how strength can be a heavy burden and he needs to be aware of the people he hurts. And the very next thing that happens is that Whirl is telling him he's been tearing Cyclonus half to pieces, this whole time. And presumably Whirl tells him (or Tailgate can figure out for himself) that Cyclonus has been keeping that a secret so it doesn't upset Tailgate. And Tailgate just got mean with Cyclonus over how many people Cyclonus has killed, and Cyclonus was still so gentle, even though Tailgate's been hurting him this whole time.

He must be feeling so miserable right now. I'm having real trouble seeing how this could be worse from his point of view. And like, maybe if emotions and responses were all clean-cut and simple, and people reacted in the most logical way, Tailgate would immediately push Cyclonus away, because he could never stand to hurt Cyclonus! Ever! So they must never be together~

But JRO has been so fantastic about writing the emotional responses that are Wrong, but they make... god, not even internal sense. I don't know how to phrase this. But like when Prowl does a thing and you're like 'oh, honey, noooo :('. It would have been smarter not to do the thing, and it's not a straight line from emotion to that thing, but it still connects. People do illogical things when they're hurting. Maybe that's the best way to put it.

Anyways, like I said, all of that from one (1) panel. If there hadn't been a conversation with Whirl, I'd be willing to believe this was normal Tailgate. But especially with us knowing Whirl was there? This is suspiciously quiet. I wouldn't call it suspiciously clingy, but in the context of the conversation and the quiet? It's still pretty suspicious. My personal read would be that he's super upset, feeling kinda shocky, and also damping down those external emotions as hard as he can so he doesn't let on that something is wrong. And therefore, I am filled with emotions. That one single panel is so much [ugly sobbing]. I am so emotionally wrecked over these two robots. I just want them to be happy. I just want them to not have to worry so much about how they might be hurting each other. I'm feeling pretty confident about eventual happiness, but right now, I am just so!!! upset!!!!!!

 

psst check it out



Bumblebee holding his head while he grieves? Or Bumblebee holding his horns while he grieves? It's not a terribly important distinction, but give me all the alien anatomy, right this moment, if you please

Also it strikes me that Prowl's design by this artist looks probably the closest comic art I've seen to his TFA design.



Actually, now that I look closer, until you hit the shoulders, his silhouette is nearly identical. Huh.