OKAY, I'm gonna start at least drafting while I wait for my oil to be changed. Lessee. Spoilers from right off the bat, but the bigger spoilers will be towards the end. Spoiler: bumblebee movie okay, for the most part, Bumblebee is the only Major robot to play a part in these movies, but the beginning scene is full of D E L I C I O U S cameos. The first robot to show up or speak was Prowl, so like. The movie won so many points with me before even starting XD Cybertron is a lot darker-looking than it tends to be in the comics, and the way that robots are shiny metal and the city is shiny metal makes that first action scene a little hardish to follow, but it's still MUCH easier than the other live action movies. It all flows together too, like this is a logical way for the world to look given how the robots look. Shockwave? Amazing. Starscream? Amazing. Soundwave? AMAZING!!!! And this is a scene that goes by pretty fast, optimus gets to so his kickass hero thing, there's a LOT of mooks dying, but the violence feels less... lingered over and gratuitous than the other live action movies. It keeps moving and it's matter of fact. There's a spot where... bumblebee? Kicks a decapitated head into someone else about to attack optimus, but it feels LOADS less uncomfortable than a slow-mo shot of optimus smashing bonecrusher's eye out of his head. And the seekers! They don't get that much time to show off, but the way they work and move is just.... *chef kiss to fingers* The scene is that autobots are fleeing Cybertron, and they're splitting up into individual escape pods as seekers swoop in to attack the launch pad. It is such a blatant action set piece, but it is still GLORIOUS. And after everything with optimus in idw and the bayverse movies, it was lovely getting to cheer for him wholeheartedly as an action hero again XD (My only complaint is that i wanted MORE of these familiar characters, buuuut I also know trying to pack that stuff in was one of the problems with the other movies, so. :p) (there's something really lovely about the way the seekers move in this. They move like PLANES, but with maneuverability in unexpected ways that feels alien without being too eyerolly about 'ooh physics whatever'. I like watching them go) Then, lessee. Earth. Okay. So, there's a good reason that Blitzwing isn't Starscream. That reason is that he's killed in the same scene as he's introduced XD It's a pretty nice way to tie in the military too, and John Cena. He's about what you'd expect from Humorless Angery Military Man, but the backstory they work in here makes it fit a lot better than I thought. Teal deer, Bumblebee lands in the middle of a military exercise and accidentally wreaks some havoc. He tries to make nice, gets attacked, tries to run. Enter Blitzwing, who arrives, and goes straight for Bumblebee with absolutely noooo regard for other casualties. John Cena takes a beating, but just barely survives. John Cena takes a beating. Bumblebee takes a BEATING. He manages to kill Blitzwing, but not before his vocalizer gets fuckt, and he takes enough damage that his memory core fails and he shuts down, in alt mode. So that's how we transition from early seasoned soldier Bumblebee to the way he's hurt and afraid in the trailers. It is HARD to watch him take that beating, and it really, really makes you believe the way he bonds with Charlie later. And Charlie!! THIS is how you do a human character in this franchise! Oh my god, i love her. She's not the same person as Verity, she's not as hard as Verity is, but they're cut from a similar scrappy cloth. And man, comparing her backstory and motivations to shia lewitwicky, she really shines. She's very invested in cars and mechanics as a hobby, one with a lot of personal meaning to her, and it's just a lovely way to initiate and feed the bond between her and bumblebee. She's the one who eventually gives him a working radio, which he eventually uses to communicate. The supporting humans were great too! Her family doesn't connect with her great, but they're trying, and they're less... gratuitously Wacky than the witwicky family. They're awkward, but they're trying. Even the annoying little brother. And the love interest archetype!! Because that's what he's introduced as (he's trying to ask her out), and they definitely bond and get on well and are cute together, and he connects well with Bumblebee. But even then, Charlie very firmly sticks to things moving at HER pace and puts the brakes on when they leave her comfort zone. It's a great example of how to do an incidental movie romance without it taking over the plot. I could have done without the Popular Mean Kid archetypes from school, but I hated it less in an 80s setting than I would normally. It would have meant losing the tp scene that's in the trailers, but I wouldn't have missed those scenes, honestly. But they're a minor part of things, What else. Lemme see. Shatter and Dropkick are the two main decepticons in this, and i enjoyed them a lot. Especially Shatter. She's voiced by Angela Bassett! I LOVE HER. It's interesting, I was kinda expecting existing named characters, even if they were minor ones, but Shatter is brand new, and Dropkick shares a name with an existing character, but is effectively new. I hope she shows up in other parts of the franchise. She's a cold-blooded strategist and the brains of the operation. He doesn't really want to be here, and he doesnt really like humans... but he likes the way they pop :) The way the humans and decepticons start working together was about what I expected, but well-executed, and the humans were less stupid than I was afraid they'd be. I feel very personally attacked by the one who was like 'ALIENS ALIENS GUYS WE'VE GOTTA WORK WITH THEM :DDDDD'. Leaf me olone, travis knight, stop judging me XD And John Cena was smarter than i expected! Even though the decepticons are like 'yes hello friends we are chasing this fugitive' and he knows that fugitive is the one who fucked shit up for him before, he doesn't just blindly trust the nice alien robots. He argues his case, even makes the point that sir, """decepticons"""? You really think this sounds like a good idea???? He wants to take down all the robots, which is not what I want John Cena to do, but it's kind of understandable XD Whaaaat else. The movie doesnt oversaturate with the action scenes. The final fight is great, because I'm not already exhausted from nonstop action. One of the action scenes is all driving, no fighting, which is honestly really refreshing. Bumblebee remains Small, and the movie makes him WORK for the decepticons he kills. I felt genuinely tense during all his fights on earth. Cliffjumper is the only Autobot i noticed die, which kind of cracks me up, because the poor guy can't catch a break XD I'm sad not to see my decepticon faves getting a large movie role, because I lov them, but I also appreciate not seeing all my faves getting unceremoniously killed in their first outing. Looking at you, Michael Bay. Ravage is only briefly on screen, but looks GREAT. HE DOES GREAT. THAT'S MY GOOD CHILD. Ooooh, i just realized we don't see Megatron at ALL. They're not doing the stupid 'he's been frozen in the Arctic 5ever thing', because Shatter and Dropkick were first contact. The stepdad is awkward and sweet and i liked him a lot more than i thought i would. 'what are you doing, we have a kid in the car!' 'I was protecting the other kid! This was a lose-lose situation!!' The last action scene, with all the 'we have to do X before Y thing happens' was really nicely balanced, with good character stuff, good action, good ideas. Watching Shatter climb around the sides of a radio tower while shooting at/being shot at by a helicopter was EXCELLENT, Charlie is relevant to the plot and helpful without it feeling shoehorned in, which isn't easy with a human in the middle of a robot drama. She was WONDERFUL. I'd really, really love to see more content with her, And on the whole, the movie's scope was something just right to make it easy for me to enjoy it. There's a huge sweeping backstory, but the current plot is tight focused. The stakes are comprehensible. It's not 'the allspark is making all the machines in Chicago sentient and there's a dozen-odd robots rampaging across the city'. It's three robots, fighting each other in a small city-ish area with some human military presence, trying to make contact with their factions so that larger groups can even be an OPTION. The movie doesnt try to sell me on the fate of the masses being IMMEDIATELY AT STAKE. It's a much more personal movie, and that leaves the space for it to have a LOT of heart.
freehanding a rodimus star cookie with a knife is about the most ic thing I can think of, so in the spirit of the season Spoiler: take some cookies
(hi i dont even go here but someone has properly introduced me to the majesty that is STARSCREAM'S LEGS dEAR GOD ) (im literally just over here like OH NO HES HOOOOOOOT) (..........well looks like im gonna have to go attempt, once again, to read the comics after this holiday season is over, arent i )
which starscream's legs not that they're not all hot, but which specific incarnation of The Leggies have you been blessed with?
fan art from Transformers Prime I think? anyways whats hilarious is i was introduced to starscream's legs from someone on the Venom discord whats even MORE hilarious is that, as I understand it, Mike Costa wrote one of the most No Homo comics arcs for Transformers, then had some sort of epiphany and proceeded to write the single most YES HOMO comics arc for venom.
Tfp starscream's legs are like....really good legs. He's a secretary bird and i will not be convinced otherwise also the show makers have a lot of hot robot designs that i'm weak for it's the truth.
Spoiler: bumblebee movie thinking about this the night after there's probably something Interesting to say about how, Burns (who is threatening His Person) aside, when Bee gets his military/combat protocols up and running, he seems to be aiming specifically for vehicles instead of people like, Explosions Gud, and also the rating means we can't have too much gratuitous human death, but also... considering up until this battle he's probably been fighting exclusively Cybertronians with those combat protocols...... :eyes emoji:
Ooooh, that's interesting! Spoiler I like how the movie did with that, but I'd LOVE to see something on a larger scale, where a group of mechs is having to contend with how the actual combatants aren't the things they default to targeting XD Also, it would be lovely to see that in the context of more mechs doing fighty things in their alt modes, like we see Bumblebee do at the beginning of the movie And yes! Iirc, Mike Costa said some things about that stuff plus bluh bluh they're robots anyways, robots can't feel LOVE, but then some kind of transformation happened and suddenly Eddie and Venom are being deliciously gay together XD On a tangentially related note, I'm worried about the new comics line taking out all the amazing gay content, but I am heartened by the way all three of the idw phase two ongoing series had gay robot romance as not only a PRESENCE, but as a major plot-affecting premise. It's at its strongest in mtmte/ll, but the other series would have had to find different ways to make plot advance without needlenose and blast off. And it would have been really easy to leave out Arcee and Aileron, but they DIDN'T, and it was front and center. It's really heartening to see how many writers went for that content with that much enthusiasm
Plus at least one of the preview/promo covers I've seen has had Windblade on it, so we miiiight be getting more ladies right off the bat? It's not Hte Gay, but it does bode well imo that they're not going back to All Boys (Arcee and Elita One Don't Real) on a pettier note, the first series at least is set on pre-war Cybertron, so there finally CANNOT POSSIBLY BE any dumb human sidekicks in my space robot politics I'm lov verity and what little I saw of Marissa but blease hasbro
OH ALSO Spoiler: lov arcee, lov cyclonus, lov galvatron, no idea if I'm ever going to DO anything with this okay, so my preferred way to think of arcee's gender backstory is that Jhiaxus didn't have jack to do with shit. Arcee was trans for her own reasons and Jhiaxus did aimless Experiments until took credit for 'oooh yeah this is definitely what i was trying to accomplish, this was totally a success'. My favorite-favorite is the gender stuff being tied to a past relationship with solus (and some of this is covered better than i could do justice to in @coldstars's fic content) But okay. Galvatron. What a juicy relationship that deserved more exploration! I've said some things before that I don't want to 100% rehash about him resenting the ways they become 1) more different as time passes, and 2) any way where he thinks arcee thinks she's better than him (like with him losing the fight while she's getting angry because he isn't going all out) So Arcee decides she's a lady and Galvatron pitches a big angry sulk because OKAY SURE WE WERE TWINS BUT I GUESS THAT DOESN'T MATTER TO YOU ANY MORE OKAY FINE. And like. I know that holoform gender doesn't necessarily match up to robot gender in a meaningful way. But just imagine Cyclonus taking a look at how Galvatron is taking the news about Arcee becoming a she and being like 'okay then, time to examine these feelings never' Imagine Galvatron being hurt by what he sees as Arcee pulling away and forcing him to run along behind her trying to keep up, and refusing to even consider the question of whether he'd be more comfortable as a she. I feel like this could work out so NICELY in a fic setting, where I've got space to write in emotions and reactions all around the story, but I can't really make the story JUST about gender if I'm sticking to canon, because Galvatron and Cyclonus keep going by 'he'. But I just LIVE for complicated, emotional sibling relationships, and this adds such an interesting dimension to everything hanging between them. I wish I knew what to DO with this idea XDD
Spoiler Bluestreak, Cyclonus, and Whirl walk into a human bar with their holoforms for some reason. Bluestreak: Has some hapless jerk completely cornered with a litany of intense questions and opinions about whether that was an actual real life occurrence of negging, with no actual pause for him to respond. Somewhat interested in human gender but pretty much totally indifferent to pronouns on a personal level. Disapproves of jerks. Cyclonus: Absolutely not having any sort of crisis the longer Bluestreak talks and the more people ask him if he’s okay, ma’am. Whirl: On the other side of the bar cheerfully doing both parts of What Doesn’t Kill You Will Make You A Killer at some volume. Reacting to the tension with increasingly aggressive dance moves because he swore he wouldn’t start a fight. They should still definitely leave before he gets to the end.
*staggers in when i should be sleeping, spilling cywhirlgate smut on the floor* cywhirlgate, 13.6k, nsfw, the ending of the series was so tantalizing that i just HAD to
One of these days I will theoretically make actual headway in wading through all my Pharma emotions, but UNTIL THEN. Pharma and Drift/Ratchet, sfw, 3k
PHARMA. My glorious garbage son. I love him so much. Now that I have it in my hands what it feels like to write Pharma on board the Lost Light, I've been dying to write this (ahaha dying) Pharma and First Aid, 1.7k, sfw, spoilers for LL25
I was listening to this today and it suddenly struck me as an intensely Cygate song. The one who survives by making the lives Of others worthwhile She's coming apart right before my eyes The one who depends on the services she renders To those who come knocking She's seen too clearly what she can't be What understanding defies She says, "I need not to need Or else a love with intuition Someone who reaches out to my weakness And won't let go I need not to need I've always been the tower But now I feel like I'm the flower Trying to bloom in snow"
I have no excuse. I mean I kind of do, but the excuse was that I ended the year on-brand in a good way so I thought I'd start it on-brand in a less-good way, and I've been meaning to have a stab at the kink bingo guro slot and I always knew what ship it would be but I didn't know what I wanted to write and then I got an idea-- Anyways. Overlord/Fort Max, 3k, nsfw, ALL THE WARNINGS oh my god seriously please read the warnings (rape/torture/body horror for a start, the fic page has explicit spoilers if you want those)
apparently my words have returned from the war. this is surreal. i haven't written this many fics this fast for like... years, i think. probably not a very sustainable pace, but also i haven't been especially pushing hard to get this much done, so maybe this is a comfortable resting pace for me again?? that would be ideal, honestly, not being productive kills me. 3.8k of tfp knock out/breakdown, nsfw
