that one really weird thing on your mind that is making you laugh your ass off

From the book Universally Challenged:

 

Oh, and another one, slightly more understandable but still unfortunate.

 

I tried to show my cat the traffic safety video. She looked at the screen for about three seconds before turning her head away, and then for the rest of the evening she'd up and walk off to get pet by my SO whenever I tried to pet her.

 

she cares not for safety. the fool.

 

To be fair, she's an indoor cat whose outdoor adventures consist of sitting in a sunny spot under human supervision, so I think she just found the video irrelevant and an interruption of valuable Looking Out The Window time.

 

I played the video in earshot of our cat and she didn't even react to the meowing...she just remained curled up in a ball on the couch. she's definitely not interested in traffic safety

 

Most baffling entry from Universally Challenged:

Um...?

 

maybe they somehow got "what's the longest distance away that youve called on the phone"

 

Spoiler: weed

50 totally great ways to say no to weed

tag yourself

 

(try reading all of them in a Griffin McElroy voice)

 

I’m #16 “I will never do one toke”

probably true, unfortunately, since I’m told the best paying welding jobs all do random drug tests ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

 

A Taako voice is also pretty great

 

I'm "injecting weed is for dummies"

 

Baffling simile of the day; "the dark snail of her nipple". Um, eww?

 

Well, it's not wrong.

I get what it's saying, but generally, snail shells are spirals, not circular.

 

oh my god same