that one really weird thing on your mind that is making you laugh your ass off

that last one tho

 

the exclamation point is important

 

Thank you, YouTube

 

This man tells a joke like he might be delivering a presidential address, but from a better world where the president isn’t the joke.

 

A while ago Jenny Nicholson did a video about this one terrible movie that... exists, somehow, and brings up the terrible, terrible shovelware Wii game based on it. It was extremely hilarious. Last week, Dan Olson from Folding Ideas decided to stream said game, and it turns out Jenny actually undersold how bad the game is. I'm up to the point in the video where a blind guy has challenged the nameless player character to a minigolf-off and they have to drive golf balls for hundreds of yards off the top of a building in downtown Manhattan. While late to catch a plane. At night. I can't stop laughing.

 

Oh hell yes. I cried laughing at that section of Jenny Nicholson’s video. I couldn’t breathe. So I must see this.

 

I just got to the part where, after being accused of stalking, which wasn’t untrue, the main character turns around, walks a few steps, and the blind guy demands she take him to a dance club so they can compete at darts. This is how they meet.

The game design is so, so, so bad. How the fuck did they manage to make the endless mandatory busywork minigames feel simultaneously stupid hard and far too easy? Part of it is probably just Dan Olson being a very quick study even though the game apparently is physically painful to play, but I don’t think that’s really what’s happening. More like endless finicky mechanics with no sense of progression because the minigames don’t seem to get any more difficult towards the end than the beginning, and so far I haven’t seen a single one repeat. So your learnings seem to be pointless after you beat each minigame.

You’re right, this game really is worse than Jenny Nicholson made it sound. I think if she’d tried to convey all of it, people wouldn’t believe it. I’m looking right at it and I’m on the fence.

ETA: Dan just failed at darts because he played too well. No really.

 

From an interview with a sex worker:

Spoiler: nsfw

 

It's like the Wolfman drawn in the style of Ed Emberley's Thumbprint Art Book

 

:(

 

Looks like a physicist and/or engineer dog concept to me.

My dad once told me a joke. There are versions of it, but the one I remember went something like this:

So there’s this farmer who gets to thinking that he really could stand to up his game. He’s doing okay, but farming has such thin margins, and there’s these corporate interests. His fellow farmers don’t seem to have ideas any more than he does, so he gets to pondering.

And as he’s pondering, it hits him. Literally. An apple falls from the tree above his head and hits him in the hat. As he sidles strategically away, he thinks about Isaac Newton and how he supposedly discovered gravity after an apple fell from a tree and hit him on the head. He hopes Isaac Newton was also wearing a hat because hey, maybe it wasn’t just a story since now the farmer has an idea. Amazing things, apples. Kinda painful, but amazing.

He hires a team of theoretical physicists, because they know how the world works. If anyone can assess his operation, surely physicists can. Soon he’s got people everywhere measuring every conceivable thing, even the old goat that he strongly suspects of biting more than one physicist during the process. He did warn them. Nevertheless, they seem to be in good spirits when they leave to work out the calculations, they say. It seems very promising.

A couple weeks later, just when he’s starting to get concerned, they come back. They have several whiteboards in tow. which they set up on collapsible stands. It looks extremely scientific. The farmer watches with growing excitement as several long equations are transcribed across the boards. The physicists look downright triumphant. They’re practically buzzing.

Then another physicist takes the floor and a whiteboard marker. She draws a circle, then turns around, shuffles her notes and clears her throat. The team quiets.

Finally addressing the farmer, she taps the marker on the board and begins: “Assume a spherical chicken.”

 

It is late and I'm trying to be quiet but oH MY GOD PROZD'S NEWEST VID, IM CHOKE LAUGHING

 

this tweet from my timeline. What size is this boulder?

 

Smarge.

 

It's 330 and YouTube Recs have delivered upon me a blessing

 

Somewhere, distantly, I can hear the ghost of HP Lovecraft screaming.