that one really weird thing on your mind that is making you laugh your ass off

420 fell on a Thursday this year and that makes it a 4-day weekend holiday. it is known.

 

that dog is my spirit dog

 

Spoiler: my girlfriend just sent me this gif

 

and some highlights from the comments
"You've entered the wrong village, motherfucker."
"It's like I'm going to have fun at the YMCA whether I like it or not"
"this sounds like the village people are representations of the 7 deadly sins in a Disney movie, and they're singing this at you tauntingly in hell as the 7th village person lurks in the shadows"

 

How to make homemade ice.

 

The comments on that are top notch

 

One of my favorite comments on the page that video's from was on a picture of a bunch of garnish: "Important step to making homemade ice. I forgot to garnish mine, and it just tasted like water."

(paraphrased but still)

 

Spoiler: enormous text wall

Foul Fiend, though stands Unmasked and revealed as the Satanic Minion thou art! Yea Indeed! Being enmeshed the Coils and Most Nefarious Designs of thy Infernal Master, thou hast Transgressed, Blasphemed and Presumed to block the True Word of God in Wikipedia! For such an Enormity of Mortal Sin there is not – and cannot be – any Forgiveness! Know, thou Wretch, thou Foul Fiend, thou Satanic Minion, that the True Word of God issues and emanates from The Most Holy Person Now Living, none less than The Most Holy Reverend Ebenezer Abel Lux, Consecrated Pastor and Prophetic Leader of the First Church of Jesus Christ Militant, to whom were vouchsafed Divine Visions and Angelic Visitations and who is Fated and Destined to Stand at the Right Hand of Christ in the Second Coming. Know, thou Wretch, that the Synod of The First Church of Jesus Christ Militant

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has duly resolved and commanded and commended that Wikipedia must be and shalt be Cleansed and Purified and be made a Ready and Fitting Vehicle for the True Word of God. Know, thou Wretch, that I, Thomas Lucas McGregor III, am a faithful, zealous, righteous and upright Christian soldier, a True, Faithful and Loyal Son and Knight of the Church, and that I most willingly and happily do the bidding of the Synod and of the Most Holy Reverend Lux – so help me God Almighty and the Risen Jesus Christ Militant. Thereupon I, Thomas Lucas McGregor III, Soldier of Christ, hereby challenge thou, Fould Fiend and Minion of Satan, to single combat! Yea, to to single combat! Choose your Arms and Come to Me on the Field of Tournament! You may prepare all thy Infernal Devices, you may beseech the aid of Succor of thy Foul Infernal Master – but it would avail thee Naught. For it is God Almighty who Guides my sword arm, and it Jesus’ Bright Sword of Justice which I Bear. To the Righteous shalt Victory go, yea indeed, most assuredly! I shalt meet thou on the Field of Testing and I shalt mete out to thee thy Just Deserts. Thy Earthly Husk shalt go to a miserable shameful burial in Unhallowed Ground, and thy Doomed Immortal Soul shalt go down to Total Perdition and a million million years of unceasing Hellish Torture – as thou so very richly Deserve. So be it, so be it, Amen in the Highest! So Hast God Ordained At The Very Creation Of The World, and So Verily Shalt It Be! Amen, Amen, Amen! [[User:A Wayfarer Bearing the Sword of Jesus|A Wayfarer Bearing the Sword of Jesus]] ([[User talk:A Wayfarer Bearing the Sword of Jesus|talk]]) 15:44, 22 April 2017 (UTC)

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You have been placed on the Black List of Satanic Minions calling themselves “administrators” of Wikipedia – doomed, doomed, doomed, one and all, to Fall before the Bright Sword of Jesus Christ Militant and go down to Perdition and Eternal Hellish Torture.

This is an actual, genuine message I received on my Wikipedia talk page. Because someone has too much time on his hands.
This is why you don't mess with militant Christians.
I also got this one a few months ago:

Spoiler: slightly smaller text wall

I am a faithful, zealous, righteous and upright Christian soldier, committed to fight for MY Faith with no hesitations and no qualms, and give No Quarter to all Enemies of Christ - be they Infidel, Backslider, Heretic, Papist or Atheist - as all these are but different face of the same ANCIENT FOE, all alike but bestial minions of Satan and the Antichrist, all alike enemies which the True Christian Knight is duty bound to fight and extirpate. So be it, so be it, Amen in the Highest! So Hast God Ordained At The Very Creation Of The World, and So Verily Shalt It Be! The Thrice-Cursed Witch and Minion of Satan and of the Anti-Christ Nicole calling herself "MereTechnicality" is a Prime Example of such Cursed Enemies of the Christian Faith and the True Christian Church. Along with All Other Minions of Satan, she shalt be EXTIRPATED! Begone, ye Creature of Darkenss, ere the Light of the Risen Jesus Christ Militant strike Ye like Unto Seventy-Seven Suns! Amen, Amen, Amen in the Highest - God's Will Be Done!
-A Humble Foot Soldier in Archangel Michael's Army

I will provide context on request

 

Yeesh, dude needs to get his priorities looked at

Also maybe actually read the frickin bible, what is he even going on about with this "unforgivable satan spawn" bullshit

Edit: double also what do i have to do to get on the Black List of Satanic Minions, that sounds rad af

 

I...may have marked the page promoting his church for deletion.

 

why? like, what did he do that warranted the deletion.

 

Section A7 and G11 of the speedy deletion policies. Promotion of a non-notable entity. He was eventually banned because he was obviously not there to build an encyclopedia.

 

I figured it was something like that.

 

I'm what you call a "huge geek who memorized Wikipedia policy"

 

your what now

 

Son husbando or daughter waifu

 

i'm so glad these terms exist because that's me with amethyst

she is my wife and my daughter and also me

 

*looks suspiciously to the side* yes they are definitely real and not a thing i made up at 5am last night, i am not lying

 

Spoiler: Causes a NSFW mental image