that one really weird thing on your mind that is making you laugh your ass off

yes

 

b i g w o r m m o o d

 

dildo in a panini press

is today's intrusive thought

 

@Sethrial MacCoill Well I mean a dildo often goes between buns, so it's not too much of a stretch

(although I guess sometimes dildos can be a stretch)

 

this afternoon in a Discord chat, a discussion of Shakespeare's dick jokes and Mozart's fart jokes somehow took a hard right turn into Discourse over whether or not asses had fronts

These absolute madmen in this channel with me insisted that butts have fronts. My position, and I will die on this hill, is that saying "the back of his ass" is silly because the ass is on the back of the body and "ass" on its own implies "the back of."

 

I mean "The Ass End of nowhere" is a saying for a reason.

 

If you cut off someones butt then the part that is not usually visible is the back id say. The front of the ass would be the back of the person as a whole??? Maybe???

 

Like saying something is ass backwards means its contrary because the ass cant be backwards

 

The cover of issue one of the Phasma comic is fucking gold and it features Rey in a pit staring at Kylo losing his shit on some trash cans.

"Oh my god, look at this fucking dipshit" - Rey, apparently.

(I understand she probably can't actually see him from that angle, but goddamn.)

 

Nice try, Ted.

 

A friend asked me to not comment this on one of her posts because her mom would see it and she would catch shit, but an antivaxxer showed up to a convo i was in and i was already filled to the brim with salt. What I wanted to post, but did not because I'm trying to be nice to my friends, was,
"Vaccines made me autistic. They also made me gay. And gave me clinical depression. And sometimes after work me feet hurt and I have to put them up. Vaccines did that."

 

(make sure to let it play to the end (it's very short))

 

Who wants to hear about the time I sucker punched Miley Cyrus? It doesn't make me laugh anymore because I've told it a thousand times, but you guys might find it funny.

 

um, yea?