That's so SO: A Thread for Relationship Antics

Double-posting, but...

[8:31:50 PM] amepissed: also i love your display message, that is one of my fave tmbg lines
[8:33:53 PM] Britt: its excellent! excellent song! excellent album everybody loves flood tho. when i sing along to twisting i always find myself singing the backing vocals during the chorus xD i actually do that a lot with songs that have backing vocals lol
[8:34:08 PM] amepissed: yesssssssss same!
[8:34:43 PM] Britt: but if youre singing the backing vocals... and IM singing the backing vocals...then whos flying the plane??
[8:34:52 PM] amepissed: SHIIIIIIIIIIIT
[8:35:19 PM] Britt: we sing in unison as the plane lands in a ditch

(As a note, here's the song. The line in question is "Blew out your pilot light and made a wish.")

 

I feel like I should start keeping track of the weird ways I express affection to my partner because of this thrilling sequel to "you're better than starch":

 

@IndigoRiffRaff y'all are too cute, ugh
In less-fun times I am currently at home and therefore away from both Partner and Girlfriend (lame), but I skyped them both today and kept forgetting my train of thought because the adorable was preventing me from forming mouthnoises

 

@Kit : I volunteered you for the Hunger Games because I love you.
Me: but. It my birthday! :'c

 

J: *holds up a tater tot* tiny potato believes in you.
Me: that's more like ... an agglomeration of bits of tiny potatoes.
J: ... The Tiny Potato Committee believes in you.

 

Last month Griflfran told me they were sending me a Vamlumtimes gift, but it would be a few days late. I haven't gotten it yet, and I was worried that it had been lost in the mail, and/or grifl assumed I had gotten it and had been waiting for me to say something about it and was upset that I hadn't.

Today:
elph: btw i haven't gotten your valentines package yet :/
grifl: ahahaha that might be because i haven't sent it yet. sorry
elph: well that's a relief! i kept forgetting to say so and i worried that you were upset that i hadn't said thank you yet
grifl: nope i still have to package it up and get it poster
grilf: *posted
elph: it could be poster if it wanted. dont smush its dreams
grifl: smush
elph: omg i just got a good idea of something to give you!
grifl: ???
elph: well im not gonna tell
elph: that would be telling!
grifl: oooh sick burn
grifl: ouch

 

IS THAT A TEEN GIRL SQUAD REF I SEE BEFORE ME? :D

(also guess who's hanging out with her girlfriend IRL FOR A WEEK STARTING TOMORROW (it me))

 

We went to the beach.

 

Sorry for the spam, but The Gillfrond and I got tattoos yesterday! Both of them are TMBG-related, and they're both on our left thighs, so I joked that we're now tied for the most awesome left thighs in existence.


This is Britt's. It's taken from the cover art for Apollo 18.


And this is mine! It's a pic they used a lot in their earlier work, and still use a fair bit.

We're getting sushi for lunch today, just the two of us (DATE LUNCH DATE LUNCH), and then tomorrow is the TMBG show, and then we have to part ways, sadly. :( I don't want this trip to end, dammit!

(Also, fun fact: Tattoos are a LOT easier to get through when you have a hand to clutch and moral support. <3)

EDIT: Bonus cute car selfie!

 

HEY @Kishona YOU CAN POST HERE TOO <3

 

@Acey you guys look just so fucking happy it's making me grin all the way over here.

 

anytime i see that acey has posted something in here i know that dorbs are about to ensue

 

trufax

 

Since we started dating, Nathan has been terribad at surprises. They get so excited that they can't fucking contain the urge to tell me anything and the surprise is inevitably ruined. Eight years of being together, and they finally managed to surprise me.

Went to town early, despite still being sick. Bought a FUCKTON of Easter candy, including a little basket with a swatch of cute chicky fabric and a little sock monkey with bunny ears. Turned up and just. Showered me with candy and a basket and such which I've not had in literal years. I cried and they immediately started running around fistpumping the air in success ala John Egbert.

(double lame amusement of fandom dorks: They're the Heir of Mind to my Knight of Time title lmfao. precious lil minty windsock.)

 

Today involved over 6 hours of nearly-continuous snuggling with my partner, which was a very wonderful and gay way to spend the day. So one thing that happened is that we both have hair that is moderately long and goes everywhere and is pretty close in color. At one point we were trying to get our hair out of the way and under control / figure out what hair was attached to whose head and this conversation occurred:
Me: "I think our hairs like each other"
H: "So our hairs are gay?"
Me: "Well, if we weren't gay enough for it to go all the way to our hairs, we wouldn't be very gay."
H: "If our hairs weren't gay, we'd be heteroflexible at most."
Me: "Hairteroflexible."

 

Kit: "I would give up cheese for you."
@Anomal(eee) : *eyes wide and concerned, grabs my hand* No, don't do that!

It came down to the fact that even if the universe forced me to choose between cheese and my wife and I picked my wife, she would sneak me cheese anyway. <3

 

So, I've known one of my girlfriends, my current live-in partner, Aya, since we were both children. We were friends back in the day, and had some close mutual friends to form a squad. Back in middle school, though I didn't realize it, being as young as she was, Aya was suffering quite a bit. She had ADHD and was regularly trying new meds to moderate it, but nothing really worked. She was suffering abuse form her father and an abnormal, dysfunctional physique due to being born with full situs invertus, which caused her nearly constant stomach pains and HELL PERIODS. Aside from a very shy, reclusive demeanor and poor grades, this was mostly evident in her weight.

Aya was TINY when we were young. Tiny, thin, and without any muscle. Part of it was her abnormal physique wreaking hell on her, part of it was body image issues gained partly from being a woman in modern society and partly from competitive dance. In any case, what was a thin frame became a terrifyingly thin one when adderall worked its 'magic' and caused her to lose what little she had.

Don't worry, this story ends well. Bear with me.

When she lost all that weight, her doctors and mother were worried. She was taken off of the meds, and there were efforts to help her gain weight. But she resisted, because the body image issues encouraged her to stay skinny and the stomach pains sure didn't help. And this weight loss was awful. She was under 100, maybe under 90. Her mother was scared, her friends were scared. We caught on eventually, despite being ignorant young teens ourselves. Not knowing the full situation, we assumed it was anorexia and staged an intervention. It didn't go well. She was pretty offended and there wasn't much we could actually enforce.

I spent a few years doing what I could. I would encourage her to eat more food at lunch. We would make trades. I remember shouting once as I tried to get her to dang eat. The poor girl couldn't walk half a mile without having to sit down (ok, in retrospect, that was mostly, again, situs inversus kicking her ass. Some of her organs are... fused? It's very weird.) But there was next to nothing I could do. I encouraged food, exercise, I went out to eat with her and gave her food when I could, but I was only another friend.

Well, I'm not anymore.

Adult life was much the same, with both purposeful not-eating and an aversion to eating because of internal issues. A gallbladder was taken out, meds were changed, shit happened, shit got a little better. We started living together about a year or so ago, and I learned that her understandable aversion to food caused her to be completely inept at making it, and her ADHD prevented her from even trying half the time. Basically, she can't cook and usually forgets to put together a PB&J or chicken nuggets anyway. So I started cooking. I started cooking big, healthy meals with greens and fresh fruit and lots of roasted potatoes on the side. I supplemented with tea and snacks and buying her junk when she was craving it.

Fast forward to today. We're bitching about editing work over a delicious red velvet cake and cups of rooibos tea. We ended up talking about old medication and weight drops again, which is partly why I explained it all here, and partly because she looked up at one moment, glared at me across from the delicious cake, and said, 'I gained a little weight in college, but I've never had NEARLY the weight I gained from living with YOU.'

Friends. Romans. Countrymen.

What a dozen doctors, a terrified mother, and a score of concerned friends could not do, I have accomplished. I accomplished it mostly with potatoes. This woman is above a BMI of 20.

I laughed really hard at that one.

 

YAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

 

Hey hey @IndigoRiffRaff you should get your partner to join :D

 

FULL DISCLAIMER, COLLEGE ME WAS TERRIBLE AND UTTERLY MERCENARY ABOUT MOST THINGS IN LIFE.

So apparently it hadn't quite pinged with husband that my bisexuality wasn't just in theory.

So when a friend made a crack about sex with Latina girls, ("It's like Mexican food." "Meaning...?" "IT'S THE BEST, DUH." Hooray casually racism >_<) and I nodded agreeably because, well, the Latina friend I fooled around with in college was fun, Husband no-shit hit the brakes (we were at a stop sign, but still, abruptly) to go

"WAIT WHAT?"
"Yeah, I messed around with <attractive college friend>"
"WHAT"
"You knew that."
"NO I DIDN'T?! WHY DIDN'T I KNOW ABOUT THIS?!"
"Because at the time, most of the girls I was with were just because I was sexually unsatisfied and my idiot boyfriend decided girls 'didn't count' as cheating? And that was an unhealthy mindset I was trying to get out of?"
"HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS?"
"Because we weren't dating yet?"
"BUH?!"
"Honey. I was the ~college lesbian experience~ for like, four girls and I basically never paid for drinks in bars because all I had to do was find a slightly tipsy sorority bunny and hit on her in front of her boyfriend, who'd then pay me in booze to smooch her."

And then both boys sat staring at me for a while because there's decent odds I had an easier time "picking up chicks" than both of them combined because I was a terrible person who knew how to manipulate the system*. (Also because if there's going to be stereotypes about bisexual girls, I am absolutely going to use someone's ignorance against them to score free top-shelf hooch.)

*Bless stupid Straight White Boys TM, their stereotype oversexuality/"kinks", willingness to consider any chick with super short hair as a "total lesbo", their big, fat wallets and their tiny, easily broken brains.

Bonus Round, Later:
"Wait, so, you and <incredibly attractive best friend who was the first girl I crushed on>...?"
"Have not actually done it, but fully intend to do the do given half an opportunity and consent from our respective partners. We are both open to threeways with our partners but are fully aware that it won't happen because neither you nor her partner would be willing to share and therefore it will probably never happen because we respect ourselves and have healthy sexualities now."
"Oh. Right." O_O
"I mean we'll probably make out in front of you guys but that's different."
O_O