The Anecdata Thread

Discussion in 'General Advice' started by oph, Apr 16, 2016.

  1. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    my parents aren't abusive but i did feel resentful and angry about some of the stuff they did sometimes, and sometimes sorta almost hated them. i think saying, "you can even temporarily resent/hate your parents if they're mostly good to you or else you're just influenced by society" is really invalidating

    'cause i really was upset and i do feel like i didn't really love that much when i was

    like, let teenagers feel what they feel about their parents and describe it in the way that works best for them personally

    don't say that teenagers have to be treated a certain way in order to be actually feeling a certain feeling

    and i was rebellious

    not rebellious about everything, and it mostly was a good thing i was but still rebellious and questioning what my parents + society thought, which i think was good for me intellectually and morally

    my parents gave me a good moral foundation but thinking about what they said and questioning everything was still good for me and still something i did
     
  2. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    That is a valid point. It's totally normal to be angry with parents and want to be away from them, at least some. But I think we need to give kids better language for talking about the distinctions there.
     
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  3. Loq

    Loq AND ANOTHER THING (ABOUT PIGEONS)--

    In an entertaining(?) twist of fate, my meatspace bestie and I took stories of each others' terrible parents to mean that shit really was normal, no actually-present Rebellious Teen necessary :P
     
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  4. TwoBrokenMirrors

    TwoBrokenMirrors Succulent Vex Belly

    ssssoooo does JJT want to know why 'everyone' (not everyone, can guarantee) in London was wearing a wool suit in summer? 'cause they probably had to, because London's full of people who work in business and banking. My dad did that, worked in banking in London for years, and if he wore anything other than a suit to work he probably would have been fired. Most of the big office buildings I suspect do actually have AC, too.
    Also we really don't fucking get super hot weather on a super regular basis! It's more common now, because something something global warming most likely, but for the most part our weather is pretty unpredictable and you can often dress wrong because you dressed right for earlier.
    I'm sure glad JJT had good weather when he was in London! I'm not glad that he thinks that makes him an expert on what we do and don't do to deal with weather we don't get often and are not very culturally equipped to deal with.
    I'm actually quite angry about this
     
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  5. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    yeah, jjt's post really was an asshole one. i didn't know about the cultural context but it sounded like a way too aggressive an approach to that subject.

    and i personally wear hoodies and long pants in hot weather 'cause i get more comfort from wearing than them than i get discomfort from the heat. it's a trade-off.

    and my body is generally shitty at temperature anyway. i frequently overheat and get sweaty when the temperature of the place i'm in just isn't that hot, and everyone else is fine.
     
  6. TwoBrokenMirrors

    TwoBrokenMirrors Succulent Vex Belly

    I overheat too, I was overheating today because it's warmer than usual. I could have been wearing shorts and a tank top and I still would have been overheating because that's how I fucking do.
    You know what I'm totally down with jokingly bullying friends from other regions about what temperatures they can and cannot stand. @sirsparklepants is coming to visit me this summer and we've already had a lot of fun jokes about oh no you're from the american south pack your winter clothes you'll FREEZE TO DEATH YOU PANSY. But frankly JJT's post didn't strike me as that sort of thing, it struck me as smug self-righteous 'your culture is stupid' stuff. Could we afford to change a few things as to how we deal with the extremes of temperature that global warming is giving us more frequently? Absolutely. But for fuck's sake. Britain is an extremely temperate climate, we dwell in the middle and our culture is built around dwelling in the middle we can't just throw everything up in the air and change it on a fucking dime
     
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  7. TwoBrokenMirrors

    TwoBrokenMirrors Succulent Vex Belly

    Also, for the record, our good beer is designed to taste best drunk room temperature, and chilling it would ruin it.
    Thanks.
     
  8. sirsparklepants

    sirsparklepants feral mom energies

    There's also the question of availability of materials. I live in the US south so warm sweaters and long underwear and heavy winter coats literally are not available here - the one item I own that's made from wool I got on vacation in New Mexico, all my sweaters are cotton or a cotton-polyester blend, and none of my jeans are warm, so I simply cannot layer like someone in a cooler climate can. I'd assume people in Britain don't have much access to summer weight wool or linen or cotton for suit material, or business clothes designed to shed heat. I've also read news stories about a run on electric fans when US cities who aren't accustomed to it get hot - I assume that people in cooler climates don't have fans as a default like I do, and probably stores don't stock enough for everyone to have one.

    I'm here for jokingly making fun among friends, but a few years ago, my state had an epic ice and snow storm and because we have no experience driving in snow, no proper clothing, no snow tires (everyone has mud tires or all season tires mostly), literally six snow plows in the entire state for our over 41k miles of road and not a single salt truck, people were getting into accidents leaving their home just to buy groceries. I had a choice between like, literally starving because I was out of food and going out in weather I had literally never seen and was not in any way equipped for (we don't have cold weather rescue staples in our cars either, so back in the back woods where I lived at the time, if my car wrecked and the heat didn't work, I legitimately could have gotten extremely sick before emergency services could get to me, because I didn't have clothes that could handle the weather). I had someone from a snow-accustomed area walk me through how to safely drive and allow skids and that still ranks as one of the scariest experiences of my life. And the internet in general made fun of it! So like, not having the infrastructure or experience with certain kinds of weather is actually a pretty big problem, and I think the tone of JJT's post was way into the "pointing and laughing" zone and nowhere near the "good-natured friendly teasing" one.

    Edit: I'm not watching this thread so while I'm happy to reply I'll need a ping of some sort to see a response to this post
     
    Last edited: Apr 19, 2018
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  9. Saro

    Saro Where is wizard hut

    Similar thing from my hometown in the San Juan Islands - people are not equipped for serious winter weather there, because generally we don't get that kind of weather very often. It's a very temperate area. Add to that the fact that there is maybe one expensive store where you could get appropriate winter outerwear, that if you want to get off-island and go to a place with potentially a better deal you'd have to at the very least get into Mt. Vernon somehow, that a good portion of the island residents are poor (like me when I was growing up there and most of my friends), and that a lot of houses have woodstoves as heating, and you're left with a pretty bleak situation in terms of people being prepared for bad winter weather and people having the ability to adapt to it when it comes. Also, it's hilly, so driving in snow (which people don't know how to do and don't have the proper tires for) is pretty fucking dangerous, especially because on a lot of the roads there are no shoulders whatsoever and sometimes it's just a cliff on one side, with a waist-high barrier about a foot away from the road.

    So yeah, I tend to get a bit prickly when people make fun of that kind of thing. They probably haven't had to chop wood in the snow to keep the fire going so that the house stays at least warm enough to keep the pipes from freezing. Or know how to make a fire in the first place, and properly tend it so that it doesn't burn itself out in half an hour. Or share a coat with a friend who only had a sweatshirt to wear. Or deal with a tree that fell on the house after a particularly heavy snowfall because the dirt is roughly ~3 inches thick over bare rock and the tree just couldn't support the weight of all that snow.

    Like, I count myself lucky to have lived in upstate NY for a couple of years with people who've lived there from birth, because they taught me how to drive in the snow. And now I have that skill, which is great! But I absolutely did not before moving there, and I know how scary it is, so my heart just goes out to people who have to deal with stuff like snow infrequently and without the right equipment.
     
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  10. Mossflower

    Mossflower Active Member

    Hard agree with you there. I live in the Appalachians so we do get some cold weather but not enough that everyone is used to it.
    My friends that live farther north are always joking about how the schools here let out for snow so often. People don’t seem to realize just how different the topography is compared to the northern states. There are valleys here that only see sunlight for maybe an hour each day, and ditches on the sides of the road that can easily reach 5 feet deep in the main roads.

    That’s even without factoring in the twisty, curvy, mostly unpaved backroads that are less that a foot from the side of the mountain. Add a layer of ice to the mix and you have a recipe for trouble.
     
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  11. Re Allyssa

    Re Allyssa Sylph of Heart

    I had a bit of this with regard to hurricane Sandy.

    See I'm from central-west / central-central Florida. We don't get off school for anything less than a category 3 (I think they go up to 5 as the worst) and I know people who have to work anyway, even if schools are closed. Tropical storms make you shrug and gripe that you might actually have to carry an umbrella around.
    (Southern Florida might be different, as they usually get hit while it's much stronger. Hurricanes get weaker as they go over land, so by the time it reaches us, it's a full category or two lower)
    Hurricane parties aren't a joke. It's a regular occurrence. You find a friend who has power and hang there as long as you can, because no power in the summer heat sucks.

    When Sandy hit the northeast, it was a category 1.

    But up north, they'd not used to the winds and the flooding, so it was a DISASTER. People's houses got swept away because they didn't have the foundation needed to literally weather the storm.

    I saw a lot of memes and jokes from my Floridian friends making fun of people for being freaked out. It took me a little while to stop liking and sharing those because I just didn't understand the difference in the situations.

    I always keep this in mind everyone I hear about a place getting a weather phenomena there not used to, and try to remind other people about it too.
     
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  12. unknownanonymous

    unknownanonymous i am inimitable, i am an original|18+

    Screen Shot 2018-06-25 at 9.57.13 PM.png
    @seebs i'm not either of the anons here but if i had to guess, "death camps" anon is referring to your response to "scares the living shit of me" anon. i don't know what "death camps" are happening now and i don't think any are but it's conceivable that they think trump has some for immigrants. that's the only thing you have said ever that sounds even remotely like you being "okay with death camps" to me. the other ask you got might've came before you answered that ask, though, in which case i can't even guess what they were referring to.
     
  13. seebs

    seebs Benevolent Dictator

    Yeah, and they or someone else sent in a followup anon expressing that, which is where we get the "the rule about arguing on anon hasn't changed" post.
     
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  14. dobedobedo

    dobedobedo Member

    in regards to JJT's 'why are wings always erogenous zones':
    what, you never been turned on a bit by someone just sensually stroking your leg? Plus, wings are a big part of how birds sense wind currents and so on, and it hurts like buggery to have the big important feathers pulled out because of how many nerves there are around them, if nothing else so birds can go poof.
    It's not outside the realm of possibility to have it be sensuous to touch wings
     
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  15. artistformerlyknownasdave

    artistformerlyknownasdave revenge of ricky schrödinger

    wings are often erogenous zones on birds. that's a thing. that's why you're not supposed to pet them there.
     
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  16. Wingyl

    Wingyl Allegedly Magic

    well more like the back, including parts of the wings

    the male bird stands on top of the female to mate, the areas his weight goes on are sort of erogenous


    you pet chickens there anyway because otherwise they pancake on you trying to get you to pet them
     
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  17. artistformerlyknownasdave

    artistformerlyknownasdave revenge of ricky schrödinger

    yeah, my bad for not being clear
    in parrots & etc under the wings is also a very much dont-pet-here zone because that’s mating behavior
     
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  18. Codeless

    Codeless Cheshire Cat

    Because it keeps Bothering me: No my point was that people react to temperatures differently and if you sat me and a southerner with the same build as me in the same temperatures with the same clothes one of us would be melting or freezing and the other would be just fine, because one of us is used to those temps and the other is not.
    Also being able to sit in short sleeves is a Luxury for a lot of people because as Mirrors noted earlier, Office wear demand long sleeves and pants or pantyhose a lot of the time. Certainly no shorts. Closed shoes required.

    Edited a wrong word.
     
    Last edited: Jul 12, 2018
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  19. LadyNighteyes

    LadyNighteyes Wicked Witch of the Radiant Historia Fandom

    Seebs recently reblogged a post that had this sentence in it:
    And I just wanted to say: I know someone who was emotionally fucked up for years by unicorn myths.
     
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  20. palindromordnilap

    palindromordnilap Well-Known Member

    I get actual trauma responses to the Laser-Guided Amnesia trope. Yes, yes, I know, :thonk:, but really, practically any fictional content could mess someone up in the right (or wrong) context, and using that as proof we need to ban Things I Don't Like is stupid.
     
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