My birthday is early in December, which tends to get it lost in the combination of Thanksgiving aftermath and Christmas creep. Additionally, my sister is newly a doctor and has a really hard time getting any time away, and my parents have a trade show that they often have to attend on that date, and I have vanishingly few IRL friends and no ability to transport myself anywhere without someone's help. This typically leaves me both alone and bored on my birthday, as well as feeling very much like I'm not a priority in anyone's life. On some level, I feel like someone should be willing to make some time for me. On every other level, I have horrible guilt whenever someone is or might be missing out on something because of me, so I know I would be absolutely miserable if I actually got this thing that I want. Even if that weren't the case, I couldn't ask for it because I also have no idea what kind of activity I'd like to get up to. Add in a bit of what I suspect is SAD, and my depression goes from "well controlled by medication" to "oh god I'm worthless, let me sleep all day and cry all night" shortly after my birthday's been and gone.
