The Crafts: Wixes, Spells, and the Weaponized Placebo Effect

Oh hey so you know the folk belief that magic dicks around with tech now that making food spoil early/cows to go dry/etc is less relevant?

-_- I may have some anecdotal evidence of a connection now

I've been doing more workings lately and spending more time just being aware/activated, if that makes any sense, and I'm at the point now where if I get one more gotdam phone or computer error at work this week beyond just the usual background noise that comes from an understaffed IT department, I'm gonna start throwing things

Or, I dunno, see if I can barter an "appease the machine spirits" charm off a tech witch somewhere, because fuck

 

Ask sis for one, no joke. That's kind of their thing.

 

... I feel dumb for not thinking of that now, but sure. Gods know the IT department has their hands full already

 

has anyone ever... felt... someone... poke... you... in the sexual... nonphysically

yes i’m talking dick telepathy

 

I mean, kinda, but only once and it was weird as hell and also I kinda suspect that being pubescent could explain like 90% of the "suddenly! Sensation!!!"
But that remaining 10% is like ok but why has it never happened again then

 

It's a thing that happens to some people, yes.

 

I've been interested in Tarot for awhile, and have multiple decks, but I bounced off actually using them every time I tried. Like, I'd try and do a reading and ask a question, and the cards would be nonsense. They'd have nothing to do with the question, or be otherwise off-base. And then I go "Well, I guess trying to make patterns out of randomness doesn't necessarily produce meaning" and put them away.

But today I tried something new. I thought: maybe the problem is I rushed in before I'd-- brefriended the deck, and then when it didn't immediately behave the way I expected, I considered fake. So what if I tried to befriend it first?

I had a little conversation with one of them, out loud, saying that I wasn't asking a question, this was more of a get to know you exercise, etc.

I got a sensible reading. Like, a reading that honestly made sense with my life circumstances at the moment.

Afterwards, I shuffled the cards back in, and asked it if it had anything else it wanted to say-- same cards, but reverse order. Which I'm reading as 'I've said my piece, I don't have anything else I want to say.' But it was, like, an actual conversation.

I feel like I've made a breakthrough here.

 

so, that happened

I've never felt like I can be part of any spiritual practice before. I have tried but it didn't seem to be part of my basic makeup. even now most of my brain is telling me this is a coincidence and good luck happens to everyone. but earlier this month my work accidentally gave me an extra $100 paycheck, right after I had a surprise extra $100 expense.

this evening I lit a candle that I've been saving for a vague special occasion (white pillar candle with the card suits printed on it that I found at Goodwill) and set a shotglass of amaretto on the floor in front of it and thanked whatever or whoever is responsible for this good luck, and asked them/it to make themself more clearly known to me so I can thank them properly. it felt right. while I was talking the wick burned to the point where it was fluttering and flaring up from the wax puddle. by the time I was done saying what I wanted to say it had pretty much stopped flaring, and then I blew it out. I'm going to leave the amaretto out overnight and then I guess, pour it out? down the drain? or maybe just let it evaporate? I suppose I'll see tomorrow.

 

has anyone ever seen "glitter" pass between two people or coming off a person when they see you? it looks kinda like the lights you see when you press on your eyelids

 

today I experienced a series of increasingly unlikely benign coincidences after reading a book where magic functions as a series of apparent coincidences, which sure feels like the universe trying to tell me something.

 

I dunno if I've posted here seriously before or not like and I literally just woke up so idk how coherent this is gonna be

But I've kinda fallen into being the 'witchy/spiritual one' in my group of friends? I tend to have a pretty good weird shit sensor and people tend to ask me for advice on weird happenings and spiritual stuff. Twice now I've been invited over to my friend's new houses to evaluate if there's any weird or bad vibes and do cleansing stuff if so, and I make amulets with gemstones and natural materials like wood and bone on commission-

But like sometimes I feel like a bit of a fraud? Like yes, weird shit happens, and all the old folky/new agey stuff certainly helps people feel better about it, but I was brought up in an agnostic/atheist family of critical thinkers and I often suspect there's a more mundane explanation that we just haven't figured out yet? I don't pray to any gods because I figure whatever one has interest in my life is also a sadistic bastard and I'm like 50/50 on the idea of a creator spirit anyways.

I know that if I mentioned any of the weird shit to my brother - who's a zealous athetist and about as spiritual as a lump of unworked clay - or to my mum I'd get just 'oh don't be ridiculous' and 'stop encouraging your friends psychoses'.

Like does anyone else here sort of straddle that point where they don't know if the stuff they do actually helps, but it certainly doesn't hurt? I dunno, I just feel weird about it sometimes.

EDIT: Also I guess this is the right place to post my amulet work? I was wondering about it but I'm always a lil shy to post stuff I make for some reason...

 

This is probably the right place to post about your amulet work. It'd be interesting to hear about it too!

Also, I occasionally worry that the poem magic stuff I do doesn't actually help. And I might just be a crazy person. Not so much a fraud but more I'm the insane one leading other insane people. I worry about this in part because atheism being a possibility for me seems...impossible. With what I've experienced. I'm well aware of like how much the brain can be tricked into thinking things that aren't actually there. I tend to combat this by reminding myself that I have experienced hallucinations from my conditions before and they don't line up with the spiritual experiences at all. But a part of me does worry that I am in fact just a mentally ill person who cannot actually gauge reality from fiction at all. Whatever explanation or method you use to convince yourself that things are fine is likely going to be a personal one like that. I will say though that it's not your family's business what you do or what you believe in. What they do or believe in or would think about what you do is their business. You're not like sacrificing live humans for rain or some shit or are like part of a MLM scam type deal so...You do you.

 

@PotteryWalrus You're definitely not alone on that front; I'm also agnostic/non-deity-worshipping, and not really joking when I say my religion is thermodynamics. For me, I have no objective data to say that I affect anything outside my head or someone else's head. (Obviously, in a 'hey, please cleanse this so I feel safer' way, not a 'my love charm will inevitably make you fall for me against your will hahaha' way.)

But that's not nothing. We're animals who have evolved to prioritize stories and ideas. Using a symbol to represent your intent matters - and like, I don't think a money charm is likely to magically bring you cash, any more than prosperity gospel Christianity, but using that charm as a symbol of your intent can keep you focused on your goals and more prepared to take advantage of any opportunities that do come your way. And that's useful!

Ditto, we don't judge people who, after a bad breakup, burn a symbolic representation of their relationship, like an ex's love letters. It doesn't change the relationship or hurt the ex, but it gives them a sense of closure and finality, and maybe a sense of righteous vengeance without actually hurting anyone. It's symbolic action, but it matters - just like cleansing a place that feels "weird" does, because if nothing else, it gives your friend peace of mind.

Maybe the weirdness of the house is a draft, or that it smells slightly like their least-favorite relative's house, or just the weirdness of taking over a space that used to belong to someone else - but you're giving them the freedom to recognize those shadows as unnecessary and unhelpful, and let them go. Our hindbrains do a lot of semi-conscious threat-assessment and emotional calculation, and they respond really well to symbols and stories redirecting them.

I try to avoid lying when I do these things - no tv medium showmanship - but I don't have any guilt about harnessing the human brain in a useful, helpful way.

(And psychoses is... a strong word, speaking as someone who has been slightly psychotic due to extreme sleep deprivation and PTSD. Culture-bound beliefs aren't just religious - they include things like 'playing the lottery is reasonable because you might get lucky', 'drinking a beer or two with dinner is fine', 'bitcoins are valuable', and 'it's fine for men to go without shirts at the beach.' All of those are totally maladaptive in other social contexts, just as wearing full niqab is (problematically) considered "crazy" in many European countries.

Beliefs that are consistent with culture are not psychotic, even if they seem weird to outsiders. They only become evidence of mental illness when they're maladaptive within that society, because they're bizarre or extreme. If you play the lottery once a year or so because "maybe", you're not crazy - if you cash out your 401k to spend on lottery tickets because God told you you would win today, that's crazy. And witchy beliefs definitely qualify as a culture, for this purpose. I'm sure that if your friends were doing super maladaptive stuff - like cleansing their house with bleach three times a day, or declaring that their house is haunted by Abraham Lincoln and he told them that the government is controlled by reptilians - you would get them professional help.

There's nothing wrong with following non-harmful cultural beliefs and harnessing symbolism; that's clearly a different animal altogether, and not something you need to feel guilty about.)

 

Thanks guys, that helps a lot. And yeah, not only does one of my friends have actual psychosis and suffers from visual and audio hallucinations sometimes and says it's different from their weird feelings and I trust them to know their own brain, but also my mum is semi-addicted to buying scratchcards and refuses to listen when I say it's just as mad as the stuff I get asked to help with ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Humans are fucking weird, yo XD

Anyways, here's one of the amulets I made for myself recently, as an anti-anxiety figet toy (the malachite bead rotates when rubbed like a ball bearing in a figet cube) because I've had to go on my own to a few mental health things recently and the anxiety of public transport is bad enough without knowing how people are gonna assess or judge me. The wood is a piece of broken chopstick from a pair I originally bought in a little Welsh valley on holiday, and since it has bone inlay, I didn't want to just throw it out, you know?

I used one malachite bead, four really tiny lapis beads, and some labradorite chips, all of which are said to have calming properties. I bound it up with copper wire as a conduit to draw some of my nervous energy away, and I picked the gemstones not only for the above properties but because the colours remind me of sitting by the river in that valley, looking and listening to the clear running water and feeling that peace.

 

Oh that is pretty. Also neat that it doubles as a fidget toy. Reminds me of how I used to use my mala as a fidget toy a lot more than I did for its intended purpose. Which is keeping counting while chanting.

 

Yeah, I find when amulets have a kinetic element they work better? I mean, what is a rosary but fidget beads with god at the end?

Also, not related but when I went to the Christmas Market with my gf we were looking at lil gemstone animals at this one stall and the lady running it sort of... Zeroed in on me and was like 'hey you. You have Christmas in your heart, right? I can see you're a generous and caring type, so here.' and gave me this tiny chunk of citrine crystal no bigger than my pinkie nail.

And I was just like??? Thanks?? And I know what citrine is for so I've kept it in the change compartment in my wallet and goddamn if it doesn't seem like I've always had Just Enough change ever since.

 

Totally asking my DM for coincidence spells!

Spoiler

Minor Equipment Malfunction, Cantrip:
One target experiences a minor equipment malfunction at the DM's choice. Could be a loose bootlace, a busted armor strap, or the blade of a weapon coming slightly loose, reducing the target's effectiveness.
Wisdom saving throw.

Major Equipment Malfunction:
One target experiences a major equipment malfunction at the DM's choice, such as pants or belt falling to the ankles and entangling the legs, the armor of both legs locking together, or a complete weapon failure.
Wisdom saving throw.

Group Confusion:
Effecting two to six targets capable of communication who are within range of that communication, the targets will attempt to coordinate with each other, talking at the same time and over each other in such a way as to become confused, being stunned or taking ineffective actions for one round.
Intelligence saving throw.

Friendly Fire:
Effecting two targets; one capable of attacking and one that is within the range of that attack. During the confusion of battle, the first target accidentally attacks the second for one round.
Intelligence saving throw.

Wouldn't it be nice to find...:
A specified non-magic item with a value less than 100GP will be found in the next area searched which is capable of containing said item. Roll under your spell save DC for success. DM may adjust roll for rare or unlikely items.

 

Every Imbolc, I completely clean and rebuild my hearth altar. This year, I approximately refinished the table surface as well (I couldn't sand it perfectly clear before waxing, but I did my best and it looks a LOT better.) This year I also finally caved and bought an enclosed glass lantern to keep the hearth flame in, because I finally found an affordable design I liked (and because we had a close call with the fire & my fluffcat earlier this year).

Pic on the left is what it looked like before (taken at Samhain, I think) and the right is just after I got it set up on Saturday!

 

I seem to have killed this thread but I wanted to hit you guys up again because with the current situation my anxiety nightmares have been so bad that nothing else has really helped so I've turned to witchcraft as a last ditch attempt to chill my fucking gills and made this goddamn thing out of stuff I already had -



It's somewhere between a not-dreamcatcher-but-similar-principles and a Tangle? I've been making the latter since I heard of them in Discworld and I'm pretty crap at doing that perfect netting spiral anyways so

Anyways, amethyst, deer bone, gold twine, plastic frogs, ethically sourced tawny owl feathers, a wooden butterfly earring and a big lump of beach glass as a focal point/bait. Probably gonna try and purify a couple of my hagstones to hang in my window with it over the next few days if I can figure out a way that doesn't need salt or smoke lol

 

It looks awesome!