i’m still trying to transition and i’m tired and my body looks like an actual pig and it’s embarrassing to be here having never communicated what i want to say
you can see my different personalities. there’s one childish whiny boy who only goes full gasoline on the fire and then there’s one serious man who can outwit anything and will prevent a conversation from happening for hours and then there’s one young asshole guy who makes everything into a joke and therefore signals to everyone that it’s okay to disrespect emotions and that emotions are a joke i’m splitting i have work to do but i can leave the older millenial queer community behind because honestly the zoomer queer community already seen all the truscum bullshit and they don’t care. exactly as i predicted and stated again and again and i probably will again i felt love that most people haven’t felt. most people are doing fake love. a concerted performance to produce something from within. but this love is beyond me. i can’t define it or control it, i can only ask it things and i’m blessed to have experienced this love. i’m a goofy failure and i failed to share that love with someone who could take me higher but i get to keep it... maybe. hopefully. voice: we would love to hear your comments. i have new problems now and i have to stop this addiction and actually several addictions i live in the tenderloin which is like the cutest fluffiest ghetto ever with good people who are happily supplied with drugs and only like 5 people die per week (i just made that up)
it’s literally my birthday this month (whole july is birthday, much like halloween) and i’m pretty much ready to overdose and die and exit and i would be fine best quit while i’m ahead while the other side of me is like PRESENTS? HOW ABOUT COMMITMENT
it’s the same story over and over, nobody cares because nobody cares about me as a person and it’s all the personal details that only i would notice and nothing of what the actual timeline of events were. people would be confused and honestly bored. that’s the fucking tactic these people used when they said talk to friends or get therapy on and on. the same story i’m gonna force myself to be ready for the best revenge but i just low key am ready to exit corpse if i pissed people off
they probably just laugh at shit now, i actually failed to open up the new reality because i’m just rushed and not careful with anything and i’m gonna see books comics and art by them while i produce nothing if i don’t kill myself soon. nobody fucking cares
best stupid embarrassing thing about being soulmates is that we mirror each other so every time we think of the same thing at the same time one of us has to do it first or the other one looks like they’re copying. science l -> r lifting r -> l hiking r -> l explaining science in simple terms l -> r death l -> r space cars/ships/sci-fi r -> l environmentalism l -> r transmedicalism l -> r writing long emo romantic comics and never finishing them r -> l but in reality we are just similar
it’s necessary to lack shame even though this is a horrible thing to talk about and i can get arrested for this but it’s helpful to think these thoughts without immediately hitting my brain with the sledgehammer of repression and gaslighting
go look at it bitch i dont care have a laugh it’s on the internet anybody could have posted that how you gonna be “abolitionist” and snitch
my voices are making more contextual and logical sense it’s either the ritalin or my frequency changed or both due to the ritalin this is why i do so many drugs it’s like channel surfing but then you realize it’s all garbage because it comes from people’s brains
