The Grouch's Trash Pile [Baldur's Gate 3]

I REMEMBER THESE every house used to have them in the 80s in varying degrees of horrendously chintzy

they're generally just called radiator vases (and they're way less likely to cause any paper or loose paint to peel off behind your radiators than a wet towel, if that's a concern)

 

CATS

 

I feel about half dead from sleep deprivation at this point. Usually I can sleep through J's snoring so long as I AM asleep when it starts, but something about how this cold makes him snore manages to wake me up anyway. Maybe it's that once he starts up he doesn't stop until he wakes up, because it's not like, unusually loud, just kind of... high-pitched honking, lol.

Earplugs are probably the only answer, even though the last time I tried that resulted in an awful headache. I couldn't get up the energy to leave the apartment today to get some, and the type J uses are probably too large for my ears, but we have three of those cheap basic kinds rattling around our medicine cupboard for some reason -- I'll try cutting one of those in half and see if that's sufficient, and if not, I still have two to work with.

 

if the expanding foam kind of earplugs don't really work for you, I recommend going to a hardware store to get industrial silicone plugs, even the low-end 3M ones are pretty comfortable and they also get softer in the ear the longer you wear them b/c your body temperature warms them up. You can also cut them to a smaller size, shorten the stem etc. IDK what hardware stores you have nearby, but I got mine from Etra, I recommend getting the clear ones and taking the little voice range channel out since you don't need to be able to distinguish speech.

 

Oho! I'm sure there's something a bit of a walk or a short bus/mtero trip away, but there's also a Clas Ohlson in the shopping center I get my groceries at, so assuming I'm actually alive enough to leave the apartment tomorrow I'll check there first.

 

With some quick googling, Clasu carries the kind of industrial earplugs that are connected with a string, but you can just cut it off if it gets in the way. You can also apparently get some silicone earplugs at Yliopiston Apteekki, but I can't vouch for those :'DD I also have an abiding hatred of PU foam earplugs, they're torture devices designed to create headaches out of thin air, I used to have musicians earplugs but I actually grew out of them and didn't realise you can get silicone earplugs for like 5€ a pair until I went to work in manufacturing.

 

Man last night ended up being an unpleasant trip -- I cut one of the foam earplugs in half and used those, and it didn't block a lot of noise but it did block some so I was like 'good enough' and went to sleep. I slept through J going to bed and starting to snore; what I DIDN'T sleep though was my GIANT ASSHOLE CAT STARTING FIGHTS AND BOUNDING ACROSS THE BED AT THREE IN THE FUCKING MORNING.

I was... deeply unhappy, to say the least.

The half-plugs didn't block out nearly enough at this point so I tried the whole ones, which... didn't exactly fit, but I managed to more or less get them in there. They didn't hurt, to my surprise, but I remembered that the last time I tried earplugs I still had tonsils, which were extremely enlarged and oversensitive and so much as using a cotton swab in my ear caused me pain. So success! And they blocked out all noise beautifully........... except the higher pitched end of J's snores.

(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻

I tried bunking down in my reclining desk chair but that was so hideously uncomfortable I gave up in a few minutes and went back to bed and tried to relax and glory be, actually fell back asleep. Gordon started up his bullshit again at 6 am and got another round of squirt bottle for his efforts, I fell back asleep, and my alarm woke me at 9. I'm not exactly well-rested but I no longer acutely wish to leap off this mortal coil.

 

GOD RIGHT

idk how the ones I used last night didn't cause me pain, but it might be because I physically could not get them deep enough that they didn't sloooooowly slide most of the way out over the hours. I don't know how J has managed wearing them every night for years (he started back when my tonsils made me snore SUPER loud and decided to never stop since he's a light sleeper). He gets the more ergonomic bullet-shaped ones, but still...

 

Took a walk today to get the stiffness out before I went to the mall; from there it was the pet store for dry cat food, over to the pharmacy for earplugs and J's stomach meds, over to Clas Ohlson for the other kind of earplugs (no dice, they just had one size, Too Big), and then down to the grocery store to restock. I sweated a little packing everything up because I had a feeling I was going to run over capacity, and I was right; fortunately, what didn't fit into the huge backpack was light enough that carrying two bags instead of one was only sort of uncomfortable (which is good, bc while I could just tuck my cane under my arm to free up a hand if I really had to, I really don't want to do that unless I'm in dire straits). 5.4 km all told, and after a few hours of rest I had to vacuum and woof. I am DONE. Absolutely worn the fuck out.

Fingers crossed that the earplugs do their job.

 

They do their job but... uncomfy. X( J's starting to snore less as he recovers though, so I may be able to do without soon and have them on emergency standby.

 

I was fidgety and unhappy most of the day yesterday and while there were external reasons, they still didn't really explain why I was having such a bad time. I didn't figure it out until almost bedtime when it hit me that oh yeah, I'd gotten some really depressing news about a relative the day before. I'd done the mental equivalent of shoving it a drawer and ignoring it because I had other obligations that day that needed my focus and just kind of forgot about it.

Spoiler: Extremely depressing

The cousin who got badly injured while he was homeless and got taken back in by his parents is now in jail for elder abuse, as he was abusing said parents while he lived with them. They actually had to get it on video and use that as court evidence.

/o\

I know he's been in a bad mental place -- he sounded absolutely unhinged the last time I checked his facebook -- and he's been abusing meth which makes it worse, but he's also refused any and all help so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

JFC though. I felt embarrassed and sad the last time I saw my granny and she told me how proud she was of me, because I'm a whole mess, but then again I'm in the one half of my cousins that's managed the trifecta of being relatively sane, not drug-addled, and in a healthy long-term relationship. It was probably a relief that I didn't turn out a complete disaster, despite the dire predictions of my aunts and uncles. (The dire predictions were based on me being a neurodivergent little weirdo and my mom respecting that, though. >_>)

 

Despite what J says about earplugs blocking out 'everything' when they're in right, they do not blcok out deep, roaring snores very much at all. =_=

He also has hearing loss and I have extremely good hearing, so, y'know.

 

Bailed on job coaching today. Although my stated reason of "not feeling well" is not inaccurate, the major reason is that looking up training and schooling options last night brought me to the edge of a panic attack and gave me a wicked tension headache.

Oh past me, why did you turn up your nose at the suggestion of getting an English degree? Then you'd have Official Paperwork relevant to what you want to do with yourself!

 

Fuck's sake, I'm coming down with what J is getting over. I always wear masks in public when I'm not outdoors, but I guess it's an extra good thing I stayed home yesterday.

 

MISERY. MISERY AND WOE. X(

At least the half-a-sore-throat is almost gone already.

 

Sore throat did not go away, it just sulks in a corner until I've been asleep a while.

Also I was kind of... graying out every so often last night, which is really weird. Usually I'm just woozy but nothing worse. :/

 

The absolute audacity of Sims creators who have a ToU for tattoos they very definitely did not draw themselves. "Don't change or reupload ^_^" nah bitch I'll do whatever I want because I know if these weren't stolen flash, they wouldn't have artifacting around the edges that you didn't notice because you only test them on pale sims, and you'd be boasting about having hand drawn them.

 

Oooogh now I really am a snot elemental. I hate it.

I wish I could sleep through this but sleep is uncomfortable and boring right now, no matter how awful I feel. I'm feeling very cranky toddler about everything, especially since now I'm so congested I can't taste anything.

I am complaining here because I have to complain somewhere because I am completely incapable of being brave about this right now. I HATE IT I WANT TO STOP BEING SICK RIGHT NOOOOOOOOOOOOOW T___________T

 

I don't want to jinx it, but I'm feeling better today. I've only gone through five tissues so far and can kinda sorta taste things!

 

Prayer circle that I won't run into any problems going to the pharmacy for my T before I go to my injection appointment tomorrow morning, bc although I'm feeling better I'm still really not up to walking to the mall and back. x__x