Spoiler: Probably-Depression Fun (Fun not included) So, my executive function is fucked, but I really need to do something so I will have a source of income after this semester, and I don´t know if I can explain this to my mother in a way she´ll understand. Also I can´t my my dad understand that when o contradict him I´m really not trying to pick a fight, I just have different information. (This is due to his brainweird) For more fun, I pretty much feel like I´m bleeding out inside, but for no reason. Just sudden sadness and hurt. Everything hurts and I want the world to just stop.
hugs for all those above... Spoiler end of semester panic and no idea what I'm gonna do with myself when summer job runs out. I wanna hide.
Spoiler: work i am so burnt out on this event going on at work. it starts an hour into my shift, it's been going on for more than a week now, and there've literally only been two days where i haven't been the shift on duty for it (and thus responsible for making sure it all runs smoothly). it also throws off my mental schedule for the whole shift, since on top of the event i have to run breaks, make sure all the usual cleaning tasks are taken care of, and do a bunch of tasks that only the shift can do. i've started getting creeping anxiety clenching up my stomach as soon as i walk in to the store, and the general feeling of dread doesn't end for a few hours. yesterday i wanted to just sit at the back desk and cry out of sheer overwhelmedness. and i just feel kind of pathetic about it all, because no one else seems to think it's a big deal or worth as much stress as i'm getting out of it.
@budgie: Spoiler: words You are not pathetic. It sounds like you've got a lot on your plate! I hope things calm down at your job soon. (Your use of the word "event" suggests that it's temporary?) Hugs for all and sundry. Spoiler: hug me too i'm lonely and i don't know what to do with my life also someone very important to me might be forced to close their business and i want to help prevent it but idk if that's possible
@soulsuckingisaacnewton Spoiler it is temporary, thank goodness! it's the only thing keeping me together, tbh. not much help with loneliness and life plans here, but have you asked your someone important what you can do to help? even if you can't do anything, sometimes knowing that someone wants to help can make a big mental difference
@budgie Spoiler: spoiler hooray for that! i am planning to ask my person if i can help. i just found out about the situation earlier today and got really worked up about it, and i wanted to wait until i'd calmed down a bit before contacting them.
*hugs* for everyone Spoiler: Medical stuff That sore throat I woke up with on Friday morning turned out to be a bacterial tonsillitis :( And it hurts like fuck.
*hugs all around* Spoiler: sigh I'm not lonely so much as touch-starved. Like, I have good friends, but they're all far away and I just really want a hug. I have been here six months and I have no local friends - I am too shy and anxious and I don't know how to meet people.
hugs everyone here Spoiler about a week til I get out of college, very behind on lots of things, want to give up on everything, and now I've got my mom all frustrated about my refusal to help myself too. on mother's day, what a fantastic fucking gift.
*hugs for everyone* @WithAnH Spoiler i know what you mean - i'm in an ldr and i barely have any social interactions with anyone who isn't my family. i'm trying to make friends with my coworkers, but idk how and i always feel like people are politely tolerating me
Spoiler: Owww Some months I have incapacitating, crippling period pain. This is one of those months. Can a person vibrate with misery? Because I'm doing that now. I want to eat just so that I have something to throw up. I woke up from a dead sleep at 5am it hurt so bad. I skipped therapy and a bunch of errands I really needed to do because oh my GOD, moving, wow, no, wow. *inconsolable crying* in need of hugs ;___;
@Beldaran Spoiler: *hugs* i've had cramps that have woken me up before and it is not something i would wish on my worst enemy. i wish for you a heating pad and/or a cat. *hugs* for everyone
Spoiler best friend w/cancer is going to hospital with bloody stool and vomit. i have no car to meet her there and she probably wouldn't want anyone there anyway. *fret fret*
affectionate head bonk to all Spoiler: Bluh I only have 6 more pages to write and then I'm done with this paper but it's tough to get restarted because I took a break earlier to pack also I have so much crap and only some of it is papers. Most of it is books or clothes or really old laptops that I keep meaning to do something with. my parents and i don't want to get a Uhaul but we might have to in order to get this crap back to wisconsin and i'm just now figuring out that it's gonna be a really long time before i get to see my friends here again. it's nice that i'm leaving ND forever, but I'm going to miss my friends. i want to call my mom but it's midnight and anything that needs doing can be done tomorrow And I have two finals on thursday *lays on the floor & cries*
Spoiler I need an actual hug, and because I am autistic I basically only have two people I can tolerate them from, and both of those people are not here right now, and I am only going to see them on the weekend :( And I am so overloaded that I just want to cry all the time
Spoiler got unexpectedly derailed in a phone conversation today, which led to freaking out and a general dissolving. the problem has been solved, but i'm tired and teary. i'm supposed to make myself work tonight. i want to curl up on the couch and do nothing. over the tiniest little thing. then i ended up having a mostly one-sided conversation with a friend who, no matter how i tried to help, basically just talked over me. so now i'm even more tired and pissed and teary and i just... can't. but i'm already two weeks behind schedule on this damn work project and it's starting to eat away at me.
I don't do hugs, but awkward back-pats with the minimum of physical contact are available for anyone who wants them. Spoiler I didn't eat much over the weekend and nothing at all for most of the today and then I made the mistake of eating a normal-size portion of dinner and now I am a tiny miserable ball of stomach pain and bad dietry choices.
