The Non-Dudebro's Guide to the Apocalypse

@cassikat now I'm thinking about making cheesy mash after the world has ended and you sir are a god/dess :3

(Goat or sheep cheese, probs. If we could get our paws on a couple of milk-calves that have already been halter-trained I bet I could convince them to haul wagons, but cows are... expensive to keep running in comparison to a ovid even a large one like a white nanny goat or a marino ram... can you make sheep pull carts???)

EDIT: I'm being dumb goat-pulled carts show up all over I just wouldn't know where to start with the training my farm-animal XP is very limited XD (I know how to train most critters, I just don't know hooved ones very well ^^;;;)

 

You can definitely make goats pull carts. I don't think sheep will.

 

All the music talk has reminded me I used to give voice lessons! Maybe I should take that up again. (I would love to figure out an a capella tik tok arrangement. :P)

 

apocalypse gourmet! :V

 

sheep are fluffy little assholes, and they are not good for carts. get us goats. (it's sad we couldn't have a cow, because i love cows, but ah well, resources.)

 

dogs can wear backpacks!

 

Sheep could probably wear backpacks too - I know they're not as human-smart as goats are, but they're good at following the leader and depending on the enviroment stand up to bad weather better than goats. (Goats are awesome too, but goat hair isn't as good for fibre-spinning as sheepwool? I think? Unless it's Angora, and I guess specific breeds might be jealously guarded? And we could use the extra-job animals - the more critters that are multiuse the better XD)

 

i just remembered i have a crank lantern and a good turning arm, so we would be able to see in the dark okayish even if fire wasnt available and electricity stopped working

 

oh yeah, and one of those massive heavy duty charger stations that have a huge flashlight, little flashlight, outlets and radio build in that looks like an oversized lunchbox. it can also be crank powered but it takes forever to charge that way. like, youd have to crank all day to use it for 20ish minutes probably. still, its a thing.

 

I wonder if you could train a piglet into a herd guardian? (I'm not thinking full on sheepdog ala Babe, but boar are strong and fiercely smart and intelligent and domestic pigs are by all accounts very trainable with the right motivations and even a Large White sow is fucking terrifying if you come after her or hers and she don't know you)

GUARD PIGS OF THE APOCALYPSE :D

 

those who can could take shifts! and/or hook it up to a bike, to make the crank more energy efficient

 

I would be up for biking for power :D

 

If the light fails, I basically have night vision+5

 

I love this thread

I like to think I'd be useful in an apocalypse scenario, but most of my knowledge is theoretical and approximate. Although, I'm good at improvising, and I can be calm in a crisis situation even when other people are freaking out. Oh! and I don't mind bugs (except maggots...can't do maggots) or spiders or the sight of blood, and I have some first aid skills as well as a poor sense of self-preservation so I can be the bug vanquisher/human guinea pig/person who goes on dangerous resource-gathering missions, I guess?

 

Oh, @Derpyfishnoms has a few useful qualifications.

 

oh! right! I have both unusually good hearing and an unusually loud voice. (On at least one occasion, I managed to get the attention of about 200 people just by yelling really loudly at them.) I also have perfect pitch, so I should be able to tune all your instruments.

 

I forgot to mention - if we need someone to carry messages or go find other survivors or something, I am a long distance runner and I can do the job until we find some horses!

 

Solar power! Little solar panels are everywhere (at least where i live, little garden lights and street signs and all kinds of stuff use them). If someone who is Good With Electric Things were to dissect one, they could probably work out how to make use of others we scavange to power other things or to charge batteries. Perhaps how to make our own. (And i know that if we delve in a good enough library we can find instructions for making solar panels. If we find good Tesla material we can make "solar panels" that also work at night, apparently, because Tesla was literally a Mage: the Ascension character)

I believe the original discussion was strap-ons, and that is a pretty important difference ^_^

 

I was thinking about this so hard last night that I actually had a dream about it -

Us Kintsugi were living peacefully in a village in the forest when a pack of dudebros blundered across us. Because we were all reasonably happy and well fed and willing to share provisions if they left their weapons at the door they were all super suspicious of a catch - the catch was they weren't allowed to be assholes or throw their weight around just because we didn't have an obligate leader and just did any big decisions by vote of hands, but they weren't having it? (GASP WE'RE FASCISTS no dude we're a true democracy everything else is just small talk)

It all came to a head when they agreed to go off and bring back some big game for us. One of them got badly kicked and gored because they assumed the stag was too weak to fight at that point, and his friend came blundering through my garden to ask for medical assistance. I was about ready to shank him for just that, like 'DUDE you crushed my poppies D:'

He was like 'they're just flowers?? why do you need girly flowers after the world has ended anyway?'

Yeah, good luck to your friend surviving the surgery needed to fix his crushed arm without any opium tea :P

 

ooh! apocalypse thread!

my resume:
I don't have a problem with blood or gore, so I could be an assistant at least with medical
I think my first aid license is still in effect

I know how to drive a forklift but don't know how much that would help
I have training in, like, red cross shelters, though obviously those are intended to be short term shelters only

also I know cleaning chemical stuff, having worked for like three years as a janitor, and no problem with cleaning stuff

and I don't have a problem with violence if, you know, I don't have to worry about getting in trouble for it

kyptonite: all of my joints suck, though I guess the gender dysphoria won't be as bad when I live in a post apocalyptic community, so there's a bonus
also, depression, but I've been unmedicated my whole life so I can help with coping mechanisms I guess