THE SPACE NAVY AU (18+)

"Horrid isn't a real word," you point out. But you're game to show how sensible you actually are, so you shrug. "Sure. Let's watch the movie."

He dozes off about halfway through. Rather than wake him by putting on another video, you get out your phone and try to connect to the local network.

 

HIC Sunslammer began trolling crossfireHurricane!

HC: wanna sneak out and pxss the captaxn off, bxg boy?

 

A grin of pure mischief splits your face.

CH: * I might. But I don't know my way around.

 

HC: that mxght be a problem. do you know what an axrlock looks lxke.

 

CH: * Of course. I'm not going to wander outside by accident. I just don't know how to get to your location.

 

HC: so much for my dastardly plan of gettxng you to wander outsxde by accxdent.
HC: hold on.
HC: need to calculate new dastardly plan.
HC: steal a cart. drxve xt aft for awhile. x'll tell you when you're close.

 

CH: * Okay, just a moment.

This is still a terrible idea, but after Erskin was so insistent that he had to watch you and keep you out of trouble, and then he went and fell asleep, you really don't have a choice. This is basically mandatory.

Sneaking out is effortless; the door is unlocked and doesn't squeak, and Erskin is out cold. The cart he parked in front of the place is still there. There isn't even a key, just a push button starter. You wheel it around and get it pointed back the way you came, then pause to text:

CH: * Which way is aft?

 

HC: left at the next T junction.

The Helmsman does guide the juvenile aft... but also much further belowdecks than the helmsblock and supporting areas. Once Bel is thoroughly lost in the rough, poorly-pressurized, unheated maze of service tunnels around small-berth docking bays, the Helmsman slices the kiddie phone's connection to the shipnet and sits back in his hammock to watch the fun, snickering gleefully. He'll tell someone, if it looks like the spare Kadros might actually starve to death or something. Probably.

 

It takes a few minutes of fiddling with your phone before you realize what just happened. Even then, you waste a while on the "Ha ha very funny, now stop playing" cliche. After that, you start to feel pretty stupid and kind of depressed. It never occurred to you that your matesprit's double might be messing you around, but it should have.

Since you don't know how far he'd go, the first thing you do is screenshot the chat to make it harder for him to remotely erase the directions he gave you. Then you set about retracing your steps.

Maybe you can sneak back in without waking up Erskin, and pretend this never happened.

 

The unmarked halls and blocks, the lack of lights, and faulty, shifting atmosphere, all conspires to make backtracking a nearly impossible proposition. Two hours into the task, a huge brownblood drops from one of the catwalks criss-crossing a warehouse block and buries a huge spiked mace in the front end of the cart, shrieking a furious litany.

"NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE NEVER TAKE ME BACK NEVER NEVER—" the troll raises their club up again and takes a swing at the driver's seat.

 

"Stop that!" you snap indignantly as you dodge. It's probably not the best response, but you're kind of offended by the whole universe right now and you don't want to deal with this.

 

The troll does not stop that. Still screaming in hysterical fury, they swing around the driver's side of the vehicle, trying to rip Bel out, their claws long and sharp.

 

You pull yourself out through the back of the roll frame, narrowly avoiding a swipe of claws, and abandon the cart. They can have it if they want, it's not doing you much good anyway.

 

"YOU WON'T TAKE ME BACK NONE OF YOU CAN HAVE ME NO ONE I'LL KILL YOU—" the madtroll shoves the cart aside, and barrels after Bel, swinging their mace again, a dark shape against the darkness now that the glow of the cart's headlights are pointed away.

 

You try to appeal to any still-functioning brain cells between dodges: "I don't know -- who you are -- and I'm not trying to take -- you anywhere, I'm -- just -- lost! Because Galley -- because Helmsman Galgal -- gave me bad directions! Okay? Stop!" Finally getting a bit of distance and putting them more in the light than yourself, you equip pistolkind and aim at them. "Leave me alone!"

 

The huge troll stumbles to a halt, panting harshly, their mace held forward defensively. Their eyes shine red and purple in the cart's light and all their fangs are bared.

"Who sent you?" they demand aggressively. "How'd you find me?"

 

Thank god. You keep your gun trained on them but you're heaving a sigh of relief. "Nobody, I just told you. I was on my way to see Galgal and he gave me the wrong directions and then kicked me off the localnet. He's pranking me. I don't know if he knows you're here, but I sure didn't."

 

"LIAR," the troll screams, lashing their mace back and forth. "LIAR!! WHO REALLY SENT YOU!? NO ONE COMES HERE, NO ONE, I HID, WHO TOLD YOU—" They seem to reach a tolerance for holding still and start pacing, three furious steps one way and then the other, gaze fixed on Bel's gun. They're trembling. "—CATHEDRAL LEFT. IT LEFT. IT LEFT IT LEFT! They wouldn't— they wouldn't come BACK!" At the last, they sound desperate, nearly pleading.

 

"Who left? Who are you hiding from?"

 

"The Cathedral— nnh—" the troll shivers, the violet gleam flaring in their eyes. "—God's Fucking Frathouse, my Cathedral, my Circus, I left, I left, I've been hiding so good, no one comes here, i-i-in the dark—" they whirl and break both of the cart's headlights with their mace, then gives a choked little sob in the darkness, only the purple shine of their wide eyes showing now. "Messiahs can't see you in the dark. They can't. They can't. No colors. No colors in the dark. They can't find me here."