THE SPACE NAVY AU (18+)

"What? No. My minder won't— uh. Right, you— planetary marines. Okay. You have a different information structure. Commander, I'm the ship, I watch everyone, it watches everyone. For treason, sabotage, insubordination. Tampering with, uh, equipment... you're in command. I'm equipment. I have to do whatever you say. Until your ratings fall low enough. Then—" a low, evil snicker. "— tzzt. You could get to be the next scratch on my wall."

A frustrated hum. "I don't want to though. I mean, right now. But I can't right now. So I want to. Right?"

 

You have to think that over for a couple of minutes. "I see, so if I bring you enough cake, you no longer have to obey my orders, you can decide whether to obey just like any other crewman. Fine by me. The way I see it, I should be in charge because someone has to and I was trained for the job, not because there's something inherently more obeyable about me. If I can't get my orders followed without electronic coercion, I shouldn't be First Mate."

 

A pause. Then, "I just shrugged. Do you think it really matters what kind of coercion is employed, Commander? Either you can get around it or you can't. Same ship, different day."

 

"I think it does matter. Obviously, any military command structure is going to be coercive. We can't get away from that. But there are a lot of ways bad officers can be held back, punished, or even removed by their subordinates as long as those subordinates have some room to make decisions. I mean, you know that, you've removed a few officers in your time."

 

Galley laughs. "In my time," he repeats, with satisfaction. "Ha. Do you think I'm old? You're like twelve, I bet you think anyone who was here before you showed up is old."

 

"I just meant in your tenure here as Helmsman. I did some research when I got this assignment, I was surprised how quickly you went through captains. Now I've forgotten exactly how old you are, but I remember it wasn't very. I think you've got... three sweeps on me, maybe?"

 

"I'm old," Galley huffs. "I've been flying since you were in diaper stubs! I've been around."

 

"How old are you, then?"

 

"Uh. Three sweeps older than you. But the point still stands!"

 

You can't help laughing. "Okay, no, I get it, you've been around more in that time. On account of being a ship. Although I've probably got you beat in terms of bug bite, mud, and weird parasite experiences."

 

Galley cackles. "Parasites! Ha! Get back to me when you've got a fleet carrier hanging out of your ass, tough guy!"

 

"I've got black blood spores, does that count? Speaking of which -- do you want us to do anything in particular with the Zero-Sum's helmsblock? The pilot's body and all the bioware has to go, they're contaminated, but the place wasn't too badly damaged otherwise. If you want any information or anything to help you figure out what happened there, now would be the time."

 

"Burn it all." Galley snaps. His voice is a dark, raw lash of fear and vengeful rage.

 

"Okay." It comes out soft and soothing. "Just a moment, all right?"

You put that call on hold and contact the head of maintenance, who's already in hazmat and wrangling great big plastic-lined bins. She sounds a little irritated when she answers, probably thinking you're going to add another complication like the blood samples. "Galgal doesn't need anything from the helmsblock," you tell her. "Standard post-incident investigation procedures are sufficient, and sterilize the place really well."

"You got it, Commander," she says, sounding relieved.

You switch back to Galley. "Obviously we can't just torch a three-billion-caegar blockade runner, but we sure can scrub the hell out of it."

 

Galley just growls into the reciever, a helplessly frustrated rumble. The phone crackles with sparks and static.

 

"Okay, that's not a happy noise, but I don't know what else I can do. Can you give me a reason to destroy the Zero-Sum, if that's what you're asking me to do? A reason the Admiralty will accept?"

 

"Because... it's stupid and dumb and I hate it?"

 

You sigh. "I sympathize, but I don't think the Admiralty will. I guess we'll just have to keep you distracted and entertained until someone comes to fly it away. What do you do for fun other than voyeurism?"

 

"Uh... I read, I watch movies? I'm not connected to the main nets but there's enough archived. I have... the captain brings me toys." He sounds defensive at the last part. "I look around. There's... we're in space. There's a lot to look at. And you get bits where the gravity gets dicey, so, it can get pretty fun to work your way through a rough patch at high warp. I don't see battle, but I— I like that. It's all sublight maneuvering, when you're slogging around planetary wells. Boring."

 

For some reason, that makes you smile. You guess you just like listening to him. "What kind of toys? Maybe I could bring you some too."