THE SPACE NAVY AU (18+)

"Sigs..." Galley frowns, looking up records and footage. "Sigmah? Helmstech Koneko? You're in contact with them? Him? I thought they were were made up. Or like, a callsign. Huh."

At Bel's questioning look, he makes a looping, sparkly gesture with a free hand. "A significant percentage of the helmsmen they've installed display signs of contiguous identity. I mean, the poor bastards are still some amount of who they were before the conversion. They remember being trolls. A few of them even still think they are trolls. Koneko's infamous for it. I think they were almost hung a few times over charges of criminal negligence— though, I mean, I fucking thought it was a lot of guys, or a legend, or whatever, so I don't know how much of any of that is for real."

Galley frowns. "Damn. I think I owe some money on that bet. Good thing I don't get paid."

 

This news makes you laugh with delight. "Oh wow! I didn't know he was so cool! I met him when we were wigglers, friend-of-a-friend sort of deal, and I've always been closer to his matesprit. Jethro Makwaa, if you've heard of him, writes romcoms and action comedies that just barely squeak under the censor line. The story with Sigs is, someone 'rescued' a helmsman and she started dying once she was off the helm, and they kinda dumped her in his lap, and he and this helmsman girl fell in pale when he saved her life. And that's why he's so nice to his patients. He won't confirm or deny, so I don't know if it's true, but if it is, he's kept her really well-hidden for sweeps. He might just be a sweetheart." You grin wryly. "He's also got a super awkward personality. So don't go expecting some paragon. I bet Erskin is going to call him all kinds of interesting names once he can, you know, percieve the guy."

 

"An awkward personality, I can't imagine what that's like," Galley deadpans. "Anyway I'm hoping to see some out-and-out brawling, the Captain doesn't take kindly to indigos. Much less ones that're poking him with stuff."

 

"I'm afraid you're going to be disappointed," you say with mock regret. "Sigs is a pacifist."

 

"Then he better have some quick reflexes. The Captain counts as a brawl all on his own when he's mad enough."

Galley nudges Bel's chin hopefully. "You could go have a brawl. Everyone's been disgustingly friendly since the zombie episode. A good fight would probably help morale. My morale."

 

"Your morale is extremely important," you say solemnly. "Who would you like me to fight?"

 

"Murfey. With your shirts off. At a preference." Galley grins, and kisses one of the marks on Bel's neck. "As a second choice you could go steal Heinsz' red pen. There was this really excellent sweeps-long soap opera going over which of the docking and maintenance department was stealing whose pens and so basically everyone was stealing everyone else's, but lately they're all horrifically cuddly and forgiving. It's no fun to watch. Also Heinsz does better work when she's spiting the engineers. Go steal Heinsz's red pen and give it to one of them. Her moirail had it engraved, you know."

 

"I will fight Murfey shirtless as soon as he's well enough," you promise. "As for Heinsz's pen... I'll keep it in mind. I'm not sure I want to get a reputation for being Prank Boss." You're playing with his fingers, and you have to pause to kiss a few of them. "So are we your favorite soap opera, then? The crew? Oh no, how embarrassing yet strangely great would it be if Jethro wrote a comedy about us?"

 

"Fine, I'll get Twitch to do it," Galley grumbles. "Someone's got to keep things moving around here. You're not my favorite soap opera, just what's on all the time. If I'm monitoring the place it could at least do me the courtesy of providing a lot of sex and violence." He pats Bel's ass.

At the thought of a stranger coming in and writing about all of them he squinches his nose. "I don't know," he says diplomatically. He does know. It's stupid and he doesn't like the thought of it at all. He makes a mental note to get Twitch to steal all of Jethro's pens.

 

"Well, we definitely have to do a better job of entertaining you, that much is clear. Whitey's going to have live music shows in his casino, that'll be something to watch."

 

Galley hums approval. "It's still strange to think of turning into an entertainment... device? station? I haven't operated at anything like capacity in sweeps, not since my first dead captain. It'll be less boring than watching grass grow, I bet."

He nibbles on Bel thoughtfully. "I bet there'll be plenty of sex and violence."

 

"Lots," you agree absently, angling your neck to facilitate the nibbling, which you're enjoying very much. "And scheming and secret deals. Possibly even spies. Or if not spies, Erskin in a tux pretending to be a spy."

 

"He'd like that. You'd like that." Galley grins. "Or he could be one of the, uh, the gentlemen of negotiable affection. In veils and bells and shit."

 

The thought makes you laugh. "Doing --" you gesture -- "the wiggle dance --" You try to stifle your giggles in his hair, but they won't stop.

 

Galley snickers too. "Well at least he's got a back-up career all set," he points out.

 

"When he's fitted for his new prosthetic he should get a sparkly one to go with his fabulous new career in exotic dance." An idea dawns. "I'm going to commission a new leg for him. It will be sleek and functional and indestructible, the best I can afford. And then I'm going to take a hot-glue gun and I'm going to bedazzle the fuck out of it."

You hope talking with your matesprit about pranks to play on your kismesis isn't bad form. Galley doesn't seem to mind, anyway.

 

"Gold plate it," Galley suggests. "Then bedazzle it. That way once he's picked off all plastic glittery bits he's still left with something he wouldn't strap on his stupid meat hunk if you put a gun to his head. You should have seen the fight when Lieutenant-commander Gawker tried to get him to wear his flash more often."

 

"Heh, that'd be hilarious, but I'm not going to spend twenty thousand caegars on something he won't use. I'm not rich anymore. I'm not sure I was ever that rich." You trace the shape of his ear thoughtfully. "You'd look lovely in gold and silver. Would you wear jewelry if you had it?"

 

Galley blushes brightly at the attention. "I, uh, wow, I don't know. You might as well bedazzle the deck plating, or put tinsel on the cameras, as tart your helmsman up, right? It's kind of stupid, isn't it? I mean it's not like–" he swallows. "It's not like anyone came in here to enjoy the view, before."

 

"Well, I'm enjoying the view very much right now, because you are lovely. And you do have some people who visit, now, right? Erskin? And Twitch? Anyway, you can dress up for yourself even if no one visits. I do sometimes. Not jewelry, it's not really my thing, but I like wearing tailored clothes in nice fabrics even when I'm just going to be sitting around reading." You hesitate. "Come to think of it, you've probably seen me do that." Somehow, the impact is only really hitting you now; you're starting to blush with embarrassment. "You've... probably watched me eat an entire package of pretzels while crying over movies. How is it that you actually like me, again?"