The Weirdest PTSD Trigger [TW]

I apologize in advance if this is not where this thread goes or if it's inappropriate but I wanted to share what I thought was a weird trigger and thought, if others liked, to share triggers that they possess. Also trigger warning for mention of child abuse.

I was diagnosed with PTSD three years ago and since then have gotten a pretty good grip on what triggers me so I can actively avoid it. Stories of child abuse where the child was beaten with a similar object, talking about abuse to children in general, anything bad happening to a child in a show or on screen (strangely enough I love Hunger Games though)... basically anything that brings me back to my not so happy childhood.

Then yesterday the strangest thing happened. I'm a preschool teacher and yesterday when I transfered my class over to another for music class I was hit with the stench of dirty kitty litter.

Holy shit.

I started to shut down and I was back in one of our old apartments, where we had four cats and a disgusting litter box my mom never cleaned (our house wasn't any better). I just sat down on the floor of my class and let one of the kids sit in my lap so I had some anchor to reality. I refuse to break down and cry in front of my class so I knew staying was better for me. Two other teachers asked if I was OK because I'm usually very cheerful but they noticed I had gotten upset.

The music teacher singing helped a lot and the smell went away. One of the kids in the class was on antibiotics and antibiotics makes your poop look and smell very strange.

I would have never considered dirty litter smell to be a trigger but there it is. Afterward I felt really dumb that something like that had been a trigger but honestly we can't control what can be a trigger.

The worst trigger I had was when a kid accidentally knocked my head into the wall before dismissal time. When I was younger I got my head slammed into the wall a lot and all of a sudden I was a crying, shaking, frightened mess at work (the school I worked for prior to this one) and I had to lie and said it just hurt really bad.

Anyone else have stories when they were triggered?

 

I can't think of any similar scenarios I've had, but witnessing--that must've been tough to handle. :(

 

@Acey Thank you! Seriously there are many days when I thank God that I'm a preschool teacher because while it can be stressful some days overall it has really helped in not having bad days.

 

I can imagine that it would be very hard to have a bad day when you have a classroom full of cute little kids :-P

 

Aw man, witnessed. I've got a good grasp on my triggers and have actually managed to overcome a few but I can't listen to the song 'Too Close' by whatshisname. I heard it in the car on the way to the arcade the night my house burned down. It's funny, so many other things around that event are fine, (the arcade, woodsmoke, and guitar hero, which I played at the arcade) it's just that one song.

 

@Beldaran Yay dirty kitty litter smell haters unite! -high five- Seriously though that sucks to be triggered by anything. I used to be comforted by the scent of tobacco - reminds me of my father who i equate to safety in my memories - but now I hate it. Mainly because where I live smoking is banned in so many places, even outside venues, that when I do see someone smoking or smell it I am kind of shocked and it bothers me sensory wise but it's not a trigger.

@Emma Not going to lie sometimes those cuties can cause me to have a bad day but by the end of it it's impossible to stay mad at them because they are adorable and awesome.

@gel_pens Oh man I'm sorry to hear about your house. Was that a long time ago? Also triggers can be the weirdest, barely associated thing.

 

I don't think this qualifies as a trigger because it doesn't leave me non-functional, but I get enraged at the song "Don't You Want Me, Baby" and when people do that little blow-air-through-the-nostrils snort of contempt. The little snot who grabbed my boobs on the bus every day in my teens used to sing in my ears (I'm an insomniac and would try to use the hour's bus journey to get some sleep so I'd be functional in class, and naturally thanks to him I couldn't) and make that noise if I tried to squirm away. I used to get angry for multiple days at a time over remembering that.

 

Rather than a trigger it just brings unpleasant memories/makes you upset, but it's totally submissable for this thread on my watch.

But that sucks I would have beaten the crap out of that kid why didn't an adult help you stop that? That's sexual harassment any way you slice it.

 

The bus driver thought it was funny kids being kids and encouraged it. Encouraging pigtail-pulling in toddlers is bad enough; we were fifteen/sixteen. I tried to tell him to fuck off and I was the one who got punished for being rude.

 

@Pascaline Depends on how you define "A long time ago". It was in August 2012, so it's been a few years. It's not exactly recent, but it's not in the past. Man, I used to like that song, now it just makes me so anxious I feel like the world's gonna fall apart. :/

 

@ChelG ...But. But what did your parents do? I'm sorry this wouldn't fly at all in any school I've ever been at I can't even wrap my head around this. That kid would have gotten suspended so fast his head would have spun and if the driver was ever found out to have laughed it off he would have been fired. That was not okay and it shouldn't have continued. If I was on that bus that dude would have a lot less teeth today.

@gel_pens nope that's fresh not that time has anything to do with triggers I was just curious and hoped it was far behind you. I never heard the song and hope you don't ever have to hear it.

 

I tried to tell my parents and teachers when he first started pulling my hair and yelling in my ears. I got yelled at for snapping back at him, and gave up on trying to report anything by the time he started grabbing my chest. I eventually had to report it to get my story in first when he and his cronies persuaded a preteen to stick his hand up my skirt and I reflexively slapped/scratched the kid. He finally got kicked off the bus, but faced no punishment at school. I suspect it's because it was a fancy private school (well, two affiliated schools, single-sex split) and they didn't want a mark on their record, since that's what happened when I'd got in a physical fight with a female bully a couple years before - I got out of an official suspension on condition I saw a therapist, which was a clusterfuck in its own right but that's another story.

This may be a weird thing to say, but thanks for being shocked on my behalf. I had it so firmly hammered into me in my teens that I was making a fuss over nothing every time I tried to complain about anything that I'm not really good at trusting my own judgment now. Parents and teachers have a way of making one feel one's feelings don't matter, even on occasions when that's the exact opposite of what they're trying to do.