The Witch Of Babbling (blog thread)

My custom mouthwash smells like cough syrup and is strawberry flavored. Delicious.

 

The miracles of chemistry

 

I'm nervous and when I'm nervous I wanna buy all the cosmetics and colourpop won't stop releasing products

Bpal won't stop releasing perfume

h e l p

 

my husband: Writing fanfic is dumb and I don't see why you like writing it when you could be writing original content
my husband, after he started writing his own original content: fanfic can be a very good tool for practice but i still don't see the appeal of writing something for a story you don't own. wouldn't it be more fun to just write original short stories?
my husband, after he started writing his own original content and also played Nier Automata: these robots need to kiss even if i have to make them do it myself

 

i'm thinking about seeing a psychiatrist again to see if maybe i should go back to my antidepressants, because i just realized i spent a lot of time in my vacation just doing a whole lot of nothing even if a) i wanted to do the thing and b) i needed to do the thing; like, i havent washed dishes in a while because i just can't be assed to start. i was without a washing machine for a week because its water hose broke and i couldn't walk two blocks to go buy a replacement until today. the weather isn't helping, but it's not the only factor in the complete crapping my exec function took these few months, but i don't know if i actually need them? i'm not suicidal or feeling horrible all the time and my therapy is working well, but i'll have to stop it for a while and if i'm overwhelmed now that i have literally zero things to do in the day except my share on keeping the place habitable i don't know what i will do with twelve hours of classes a day.

I also kiiind of want to bring the possibility of ADHD because a lot of ADHD things are relatable and this online quizz i took put me in the 78% probability of having ADHD but, uh. i also don't want to be the med school student that """""""""has adhd""""""""", you know. and i don't know how many of the attention issues i've been having are just depression hazyness.

 

I havent been able to sleep or eat well this week bc of the heat and I haven't been drinking enough water and today i am feeling Very Sick

 

Ten days before we have to move our neighbors kid knocks on the door and asks if he can be friends with my husband because he likes video games and then runs away all shy and nervous. I'm heartbroken

 

OH NO

 

It was so adorable!!! Husband and I were overwhelmed with cuteness but its. Such bad timing!!!! Poor boy!!! Marlon loves kids and he just cant stop smiling but we are also. Bad.

A few months ago he briefly opened our door and peeked inside while we were playing overwatch (and then came by later to apologize) (we often leave the door unlocked during the day because this is a v secure building). Dude why didn't you ask to be friends at that time.....

Husband says he was so nervous!!! I feel so bad. It was so hard for me to get the guts to talk to people I thought were cool and now we are moving.....

 

The husband: watches a video of a cute kitten being very loud
My cat garrus: I Will Not Rest Until I Find And Comfort This Distressed Child

 

Someone: mentions skincare
The Obsessions Of Christmas Past: *starts vibrating in korean*

 

My mom was going on AGAIN about my hair color and how she's never seen a med student or doctor with blue hair and how she doesn't want people to judge me unfairly

Well guess what! She has seen one now and people will judge me unfairly no matter what!

 

"It was ok when you were in communications because these people are more alternative but medicine is so traditional!"

Well guess what. When I was in communications I didn't have colored hair and people STILL judged me unfairly and STILL didn't like me and STILL made my life miserable. If people want to they'll find a reason, be it because I'm fat or older or weird.

 

Honestly i've seen nurses with brightly colored hair, and a fair amount with tattoos too, I think this particular judgement is on the way out (and good riddance to it!)

 

I've given up finding an apartment. I'm gonna buy a van, paint in it the magnificent image of a wizard with a six pack and glistening pectorals holding a thunderous sword in one hand and a nefarious scepter in the other, riding a mighty direwolf on a rainbow bridge, his beard fluttering in the wind as a supernova explodes behind him. And then I'm gonna park it on campus and live in it.

 

I mean, you’d handily win Most Awesome Living Space and probably also Most Convenient Location with such a van as that.

As far as hair color goes, if I found a doctor I liked and they had blue hair, I’d be bragging about how cool my doctor was to anyone who would listen. If I didn’t feel that doctor was the best fit, I’d be sighing all over about what a damn shame it was that the doctor with blue hair didn’t work out. Either way, I wouldn’t base my assessment of them as a doctor around their hair color. Who in the world has time to look for a doctor who takes your insurance, isn’t too far away, performs their job thoroughly and with competence, feels like someone you can talk to about medical things, and also has hair that coordinates with your personal aesthetic?

 

My gastro has fuckin' stains on his shirt every time I see him and yet I still go see him (because of the reasons @Verily gave and because he's seen my progress from Very Sick to now). If I don't judge him for that I'm not going to judge a doctor for their hair color. Also! I see a lot of medical professionals with fun hair too because there's a hospital attached to my university and they're often on the train/public transit with me. One of them works in the gastro's office and he showed me a picture of his cat that his boyfriend had dressed up, it was the best.

 

In other, exciting med school fucking up my life news:

My second choice college called and asked if I would still be interested in a spot, because they might be calling more people next week, since classes start on the 18th, and only wanted to call those who are interested.

>>>>>two days before I'm supposed to be moving because classes at the uni I got into start this monday<<<<<

I said yes, of course. I still haven't found a place to rent that's decent so we are going to stay in an Airbnb for the first week of classes, and if I got into that uni not only it would be a better university but it would avoid a move to a city where the average price of a two bedroom apartment equivalent to where I live right now is goddamn four hundred thousand money units, which is twice what we paid for this one.

But. I should be starting my classes. I should be moving. I am too goddamn anxiety

 

Why is it that every time i go someplace for pie because I want pie but I dont want to make pie I end up eating disappointing pie

 

@Verily @Saro thanks for the input :> i know it's a silly thing but it is really reassuring to hear that